By Albatross
August 7 2002

In a bit of a departure from the normal fayre, Pools Online is pleased to bring you Part 1 of "Great Balls of Fire", a fiction serial about the lifes of everyday football folk. Now Read On....

Disclaimer: This is a work of Fiction. The people, places and events described are fictitious. Any similarity to real people or events is not to be considered to have any basis in fact.

Great Balls of Fire - Part 1: Neighbours

Timmy Turner wasn't having a good day. He'd taken the afternoon off from his job at the Garden Centre to try and sign some players for his Football Team, Codlington Railwaymen, and it wasn't proving easy. He was beginning to think that accepting the offer to become manager was one he shouldn't have taken; Club Chairman John Hairclip had promised him lots of money to pay players with, but he seemed to have a different idea on what "lots" meant. It was pretty difficult to get players to sign up for you when you could only offer them a tenner a match - and they had to pay their own petrol too. He remembered trying to point this out to Hairclip....

"Rubbish! I know plenty of lads who'll come and play for me at that price," he'd said. "My daughter's boyfriend will for a start - he's a smashing lad you know, and he wants to move on a bit from the Fox and Goose Third team. Between you and me, I think he could be the next Peter Beardsley you know." Timmy soon discovered that young Billy Stott was in football terms more like Aubrey Beardsley, although having Hairclip, his wife Sarah and daughter Jade screaming at him from the touchline most of the time certainly didn't help the lad's confidence. He'd played much better for a couple of games when the Hairclip family were away in Blackpool to see the lights.

By the end of the afternoon, Timmy knew that he had his work cut out if he was going to stop them being relegated from the Price Freeze Combination - and both the Chairman and the fans wanted promotion to the Northern Counties League. Things weren't helped by the fact that Codlington's deadly rivals, West Pool United, looked very strong promotion favourites. He couldn't help being envious of their boss, Colin Taylor. No-one seemed to know their Chairman, but it was rumoured that he was a wealthy Fish and Chip Baron from out of town. Taylor had a proper Assistant Manager, and had once played in the Northern Premier League; he had used his contacts to sign Alan Holmes, a Striker who had done his knee quite badly a while ago but who had scored 20 goals after only arriving halfway through the season.

As he trudged home, he reflected on the players he had been able to persuade to join up. One or two of them looked quite promising, young lads released from Northern Counties teams, but he'd only got them to sign after promising them he'd give them a lift every match day in his Fiat Punto.

There was a big van parked outside the house next door, and he remembered that his next door neighbour was moving today. This must be the new man moving in. He idly wondered if it might be a decent footballer he could sign up. As he opened his door, he heard laughing from the Living Room, and then his wife appeared. "Oooh, Timmy! You'll never guess who's moving in next door - he's just popped round to say hello, and you two have got so much in common! He thinks you might have met before as well!" Liz ushered him in, and he started to offer his hand to the figure rising from his favourite armchair, before he stopped, in horror, as he recognised his nemesis.

Liz seemed to be speaking from a long way away. "This is Colin Taylor. He's a Football Manager too - isn't that nice!"