By Albatross
September 2 2004

With the speculation continuing about Sir Clive Woodward's possible defection to Football, Pools Online takes time out to wonder if this will open the floodgates to some other bizarre moves between sports. Sir Clive's sudden interest in coaching a football team seems more than a little odd, but does raise the question of whether or not there are other people with skills that could benefit the game - and maybe Hartlepool United in particular. Similarly, there's probably plenty of help that people at the club could offer to other sports - and beyond.

Keith Nobbs proficiency at clearing the Mill House Stand during his playing days marks him out as the ideal kicking coach for West for example - while in return they could teach us how to turn our pre-match huddle into an effective scrum.

I'm sure that the similarities between goalkeeping and wicket-keeping would give Dimi Konstantopuolos a second career as captain of the Greek Cricket Team; meanwhile various people from the former Camerons Brewery may be heading out to Athens to give the officials from the Three Day Eventing some tips on how to organise a drinks party following the "Oh no he isn't, Oh yes he is" Leslie Law Gold Medal debacle. Bradley Wiggins can give Ryan McCann some lessons in how to get on his bike, and in return Adam Boyd could give Paula Radcliffe some finishing practice.

Hugh Robertson's powerful free kicks seem to mark out a future career in the wrecking business - after all he seems able to demolish walls at will; Steven Istead's pace on the flank makes him a natural to give flying lessons; and Chris Westwood's extravagant coiffures last season, coupled with his spell of moonlighting by modelling shirts for a friend's sports gear business, mean that a career being photographed for the "Next" catalogue must surely be only a matter of time.

We could bring in Michael Jordan to teach our strikers how to achieve "hang time", and our defence would be improved no end with a few tips from OJ Simpson's lawyers; and especially on some of the more "interesting" pitches we have to play on (such as Huddersfield a few weeks back) some training from Water Polo might be invaluable.

We need to be careful not to take things too far though. Woodward would be taking a gamble by moving into football, and if even he experiences problems then there's surely no hope for others. Mind you, even if he espouses the tactical kicking game that has been so popular in Rugby Union, it can't be worse than watching one of John Beck's teams.....