Arsenal
Funny Business, Atmosphere and other issues Survey Concludes
You wish
By Celine Dion
June 30 2011
Part 6 and 7: Celine's survey concludes with some miscellaneous, and if not rather strange questions, with some even stranger answers, but as they say its a funny old game.The first question in this section is: If you were stuck in a lift with Arsene Wenger what would you say to him. This is an open category obviously, there can’t be a winner, I just thought it would be fun to collect the answers. Most memorable and amusing were, in my opinion, the magnificent – ‘This is where you get off’
Or how about the rather clever
‘I would talk about myself’
What about this little rant from a disgruntled North Banker
"Thank you for your service to Arsenal. But can you explain to me where the fleecing and ripping off of fans fits in with your idea of financial fair play and doing things the "right" way? You LOVE talking about value, well where is that value for fans paying more for a worsening team? Isn't like selling watered down heroin to junkies and charging them more for it? A kid could have told you our defence was sh*t"
Several of you would ignore him, two of you would hit him, and surprisingly a few of you would shake him warmly by the hand and congratulate him for all he has done. One of you, in the time allowed, would try to hypnotise him into killing Sebastian Squillaci.
THE CLUB
Biggest single thing Arsenal could do to improve atmosphere in the ground.
Some interesting answers here, because not all were about ‘bringing back standing’ - people have cottoned onto the fact that if the team played a bit better, lots of us would make more noise and stuff. In what might prove difficult from the structural perspective, some of you wish to carry out ground improvements to create an enormous Borussia Dortmund style KOP. Some would carry out as short Arsenal –knowledge test outside the ground (good idea that, but remember that some of us like to have a lot to drink before we turn up). Moving fans to the upper tier seems to be a popular one nowadays, as promoted by the BSM. Moving red action to the Clock End is another (although surely this would not help the North Bank). ‘Stella’ is another good answer (I agree with that one personally). ‘Compulsory Singing’ might be rather difficult to enforce.
Select which option currently describes your view of the current board
Straightforward multiple choice this, and a straightforward winner
b) They set out with the right vision but have badly lost their way
The rest of the answers are made up of ‘C – Spend some f*cking money’, with a very small handful of our overseas readers saying ‘they are doing a cracking job’. One person points out, very reasonably, I thought, that the board may not actually exist at all.
A direct follow on to this was the next question, ‘Would we be in favour of a sugar daddy type Abramovic figure buying the club?’ Now, last year, the response was a resounding ‘no’. But this year nearly 50% of voters appear not to care less what happens. Perhaps this is down to the fact that we are owned by one anyway nowadays, just one who doesn’t spend any money on the team. It seems, generally, that people are waking up to the fact that we live in a dirty world, and if you can’t beat them, join them.
Likewise, on the subject of seat prices, NOBODY thought seat prices are reasonable, with most opting for the ‘c, ‘F*CK OFF’ option rather than the simple ‘no’ vote. This survey was largely filled out directly in the wake of the %6.5 seat price rise, and shows just how disillusioned the majority of fans are, in my opinion.
With regard to how much money we need to spend on players, it is a direct split between c (25-50 million) and d) (50 million plus). Even the card carrying AKBs among us feel it might be time to put our hands in our pockets, with a couple of conservative 10-25 mil as the lowest amounts. In general, it seems the distaste for big spending is most definitely wearing off.
End Part 6
Part 7
A slightly frivolous question came next – ‘If every single Arsenal player left/was sold, would you be ‘Devastated/Mildly concerned/Quite pleased actually.’
Now I appreciate that this is a hypothetical question, and the only time it has happened, to my knowledge, was on Sky TVs’ ‘Dream Team’ (well, they killed them all in a coach fire) and at Leeds when they got relegated (more or less). So a lot of people, fearing the worst for the club, voted ‘a’, devastated. But these are evenly split with those who would be only ‘mildly concerned’. Whilst a fair few (15% perhaps) would be quite happy to throw the baby out with the bathwater, wipe the slate clean, and start again. Alarming!
Lastly, for this section, my ‘finger on the pulse’ question about what people think about the term ‘AKB’. Now, I feel it is a necessary and fairly handy term, to be used in internet debating etc. for those that worship at the cathedral of Arsene Wenger, and there are still plenty about. A few agree with me, but the consensus seems to be the rather more politically correct view, that it is a harmful and divisive term that ‘polarises’ Arsenal fans and ‘divides them’. This is the overwhelming statement, so I will leave it at that. Or nearly, I will in fact finish this section with a summary of the term by perhaps one of the forums most unreconstructed card carrying AKBs (sorry) – who responded thus
‘AKB’ means ‘Arsene knows better’. And rightly so, no argument about that.
A bit about ourselves.
Well, this is where I get nosey, but it is good to know who the forum attracts.
Well, a healthy mixture of overseas and home grown supporters of all age
groups, it would appear. There are a few
more American supporters who responded than last year, and I have noticed more
Americans at the ground as well. A high number of us have been supporting
Arsenal since the 1980’s and 1990’s, (and one who claims to have been a fan
since ‘The Napoleon Bonaparte era’). Our favourite Arsenal player ever is Dennis Bergkamp, and practically NOBODY
is planning to reduce their attendance at the theatre of disappointments, with
many of us masochistically pledging to attend MORE next year. Our favourite
football teams are a diverse arrangement of smaller clubs with the notable
exception of ‘Barcelona’ who feature in quite a few peoples entries.
Of the nonsensical ‘tie breaker questions’ , the war between the fruit and vegetables would be won, it appears, by the vegetables, for their overall durability, with the strongly stated combative qualities of Brussels sprouts and the spear like aspect of the carrot. Although the potential for tomatoes being used as a clandestine ‘double agent’ was noted by more than one person. My favourite answer (in favour of fruit, in fact) was this -
‘The battlefield would be awash with mashed potatoes, mushed peas, diced carrots – total casserole carnage. Only the swedes would survive, as they would maintain Neutrality due to their constitution.’
When faced with imminent 20 minute Armageddon, with the inevitable breakdown of law and order, I am afraid quite a few of you would opt for what can only be described as morally dubious activities of one kind or another, with a strong emphasis, I am afraid, towards the narcotic and the sexual. Some would seek out religious solace, others would make a cup of tea and wait calmly for the end. One of our number, who managed to bring his preferred condiment into more than one of his answers, in fact, would ‘overdose on Kikkoman soy sauce’. Predictably, Mr Flava, who I seem to remember also having the last word in last years’ survey, would ’drink as much alcohol as possible.’
And on that note, dear readers, I will leave you. Doesn’t sound such a bad idea, considering the season we have had.
Cheers!
Digg
Delicious
Facebook
Reddit
Stumbleupon30/06/2011 19:23
If you do not already have an account Click here to Register.
Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 2011:07:09:09:47:47 by Padre Pio.
this is a fantastic survey... i thoroughly enjoyed it.. it's pretty damn obvious that most fans are @#$%& off but still have enough to give wenger & the board many more miserable seasons to torment us.Can We Now Trust The Process 🤔🤷🏿♀️ or Should We Still Remain Cautious 🙇🏿♀️
Quote:tigerline
Thanks again for taking the time to run and report this survey in your own inimitable way.
He has no life mate so it was no problem.
I'd like to endorse the above. Excellent read.
Since the end of WW1, 1919, when the FA restarted its 4 tier football league, with Arsenal fc in the 1st div, there’s only ever been one club to have never been relegated from Div 1/ EPL.
Arsenal fc
Let’s keep making history
StreamFootball - Arsenal
More Arsenal headlines
Arsenal latest threads
- Pre season
- Off Topic: Remember the Clamour re Jhon Duran
- Vinicius Junior
- You can sign one player this window
- Sign valverde and kill 2 birds with one stone
- Can this team with the champions league next season?
- Tzolis signs - official
- 2026/27 Arsenal Squad
- What’s going on?
- For those interested.. Arsenal Women Continue to Strengthen