By Celine Dion
June 29 2011
Player we least want to leave:Last year Cesc Fabregas was the runaway winner of this category with, I seem to recall, the entire vote. This time, he wins, but, given his questionable behaviour over the past 12 months, and a rather poor season, he only brings in 36% of the election.It seems our hopes are invested heavily in young Jack Wilshere, who is a close runner up with 34%. Only two other players even feature, the ever pleasant and amenable RVP does handsomely in third (20%) and, perhaps with an inkling of what is to come, Nasri is the other to collect votes (10%)
Part Five Continued
Player who we most want to leave
Well, what a response. You were allowed to go for as many players as you liked, and some of you did not hold back, listing practically the entire first team squad. Cack-footed spotty disaster-zone Toto Squillaci (or whatever he is called) wins the day, (surely the only thing he will ever win.), narrowly ahead of the greasy fingered time bomb that is Manuel Almunia. Sideways passing non-entity Denilson is next, and in surely what is some kind of mistake, the Danish Pele himself, Niklas Bendnter comes next. Grandma Rosicky is next, and it seems some of you have been listening to the away fans chant at Fulham ‘Its Denilson's leaving party, take Eboue and Diaby’ because these two chancers are high up the list. Clichy, Chamakh, Gibbs, Song, all these got more than one vote, as did a certain Mr Cesc Fabregas. Probably the one player who will be celebrating this year is Lukas Fabianski, who was one of the runaway winners last season, but this year barely merits a mention. Then again, he was injured for most of it.
Should Wenger leave this summer?
Last year, nobody was prepared to break ranks, and, while he gets another year from 70% of you, that means 30% of you have had enough of him, with half of those saying that he should have left years ago.
Player we most want to sign
An open category this, and the chance for some of you to show your Football Manager 2011 credentials and name a load of players whom nobody else has heard of. It seems we are keenest to raid the Bundesliga this year, with Sebastian Schweinsteiger topping the vote. Most of you kept it sensible with realistic targets – Dortmund stopper Subotic comes next. There’s’ a few silly votes for the likes of Messi and Ronaldo – next sensible one is Benzema, then Christopher Samba. Interestingly, the future of world football Eden Hazard, does not feature that heavily at all. Amongst the stranger, rather unlikely votes were Gareth Bale, and Stephen Gerard.
Spurs Player we would most like in our team
There were more varied votes this year, an indication perhaps that their squad is half decent (for now anyway). Winner of the category is Gail Tilsley lookalike Luca Modric, just ahead of simian full back Gareth Bale. But Sandro gets a few votes, Dawson, King, Van Der Vaart, a lot of them really. There’s’ even a cheeky little vote in there for the treacherous turncoat William Gallas.
Manager we would most like to see at Arsenal if Wenger leaves
We all seem a bit short of ideas here really, stock responses are David Moyes, the rather optimistic Pep Guardiola, and, something that can now not happen, for the time being at least, Villas-Boas. Guardiola just wins from Gus Hiddink. There are mentions for Jurgen Klopp, and the standard lone voices asking for ‘the special one’ and someone asking for Martin bl**dy O’Neill.
End part 5
Quote:Padre Pio
I think its on of Celine's finest pieces of writing, he has turned disparate views into a flowing and humourous narrative.

