Arsenal
Celine Dion's Famous End of Season Survey The Finale Part 3
By Celine Dion
May 31 2010
Well here we are the third and final part of Celine Dion's famous end of season survey where the reader was asked who would they get to replace Wenger. We also learn a bit about you dear reader. Amongst all those who would come back as a lion one poor soul wanted to come back as a rabbit. Don't get the wrong idea, a bear in Yosemite Park would have as good a time.
Part Three
MANAGER TO REPLACE WENGER
Everybody had different ideas here. In fact very few managers get more than one vote. Guardiola is the winner, from Capello, and, intriguingly, Dennis Bergkamp, who isn't actually a football manager. Moyes hardly featured at all, and one plucky contributor seems to think Harry Redknapp is Wengers' natural successor.
BEST WAY TO IMPROVE ATMOSPHERE
Now, I don't think the club are about to hand out ‘free beer' or indeed ‘free chicken burgers'. And I think the suggested policy of arresting people who leave early and confiscating their membership may be in breach of EU law. ‘Getting rid of club level' got more than one suggestion, although presumably that would leave the Emirates with an entire middle tier of empty restaurant space (perhaps we could keep the free chicken burgers there).
Generally speaking, bringing back standing seemed to be the most popular suggestion, not that this could ever be done, and the other popular entry, from several of you, was ‘Win Something'. Some of you felt it necessary to qualify this suggestion with a swear word, incidentally.
WHICH STATEMENT BEST SUMMARIZES THE BOARD
Well, what a level headed bunch we are, because this is where the dissent all dries up, and it appears that everybody, apart from PK Gunner that is, is just over the moon with it all. The board are running the club sensibly and securely, about three quarters of you think. A few suggest that the board has ‘lost its way'. But generally, in a vote that I find rather surprising, everything is just super at board level, and they are going about things the right way.
WOULD WE LIKE AN ABRAMOVIC TYPE SUGAR DADDY
No, no, no, no, no, would appear to be the consensus here, winning by 3:1 of the vote. Don't want to be like the dirty Chelsea it appears, despite the fact that they get to have a great big party every May.
ARE TICKET PRICES FAIR FOR THE LEVEL OF TALENT ON DISPLAY
Well, although the board are a kindly, level headed bunch, as was ascertained in the last vote but one, they do appear to be setting the prices a weeny bit high. Perhaps it's because they are saving all the money up to buy Lionel Messi, or set up some soup kitchens for the poor and needy, but either way, most of you seem to think they could drop the prices a touch, if that's OK, just a smidgeon, when you're ready Mr Chairman, sorry to disturb you and all that.HOW MUCH MONEY SHOULD WE SPEND IN THE SUMMER
Well, the board are jolly super, and definitely running the club the right way, not getting in debt and stuff, but it appears that nearly everybody wants them to spend between 25 and 50 million notes this summer. Only a few smug types don't think we should spend anything at all, presumably they don't go to a great many of the games, or get in for nothing, one of the two. And a couple think we should go above the 50 million threshold and go mad like my gran used to do in the Harrods' sale. But generally speaking, we want some cash spent, and we want it spent now.
A BIT ABOUT YOU
I know Mr Rockstaar might have interpreted this section as some sinister plot to collect everybody's age group and favourite meal and sell it to Saatchi and Saatchi, retiring for ever to a desert island to live on the proceeds. But actually I just put this section in because I was bored, and I have seen it done in other, more professional surveys. Plus I wanted to find out who was everybody's favourite Arsenal player of all time.
It is Dennis Bergkamp by the way, by a considerable margin, with Henry featuring strongly, and very, very, few players from before that era. This despite the fact that a lot of the respondents were fairly old, and have supported Arsenal well into the 1980s', if not before in a couple of cases. Mind you, I don't think this is something we can use to determine the demographic of forum users, I think younger people are less likely to complete a laborious survey, because they are too busy being full of fizzy pop playing ‘Call of Duty' or some such.
Revealing no names, there is someone among our number whose favourite other team is ‘Manchester United' (calm down, BwanaWenger). The same person would like to come back as a pigeon in his next life, rather disturbingly I think.
We are a greedy bunch, a lot of us would delay our imminent execution because we were eating ‘KFC buckets' ‘Steak' ‘Chicken and chips' ‘An entire barbeque', ‘curry' and ‘steak and kidney pudding'. A lot of us would also test Death Row regulations by demanding ‘several pints of Stella Artois' and in one case ‘cigarettes'.
In a touch of genius, one forum user has plotted to sabotage his own execution, consuming ‘Pickled onions, baked beans and liquorice', presumably in the hope that the attending execution staff evacuate the chamber.
Finally, we seem to favour coming back in future life as stealthy, carnivorous animals, like foxes, and lions and so on. I think that is the male psyche emerging there. All except one user, whom I shall not name, but whose contribution bought a tear to my eye. I shall end the survey with his poignant words
‘A rabbit, specifically my daughter's rabbit. She loves that rabbit a lot more than she loves me..'
See you next year...
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Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 2010:06:08:08:42:58 by Padre Pio.
Theodore roosevelt - In any moment of decision, the best thing you can do is the right thing, the next best thing is the wrong thing, and the worst thing you can do is nothing.
Can We Now Trust The Process 🤔🤷🏿♀️ or Should We Still Remain Cautious 🙇🏿♀️
I seen a report that the Emirates is designed in such a way that it would not take much to convert some areas to safe standing areas
Quote:eduardo
Celine why you say standing areas will never come back, the national supporters group are actively seeking limited standing areas, Germany proved with such areas in all their new stadiums for the last world cup that FIFA and UEFA have no problem with them, and they work great in the german legues, its one of the reasons why attendances are up in germany and also why clubs are that little bit richer than a few years ago.
I seen a report that the Emirates is designed in such a way that it would not take much to convert some areas to safe standing areas
well, because I had always understood that once the gradient of a seating area was cast in concrete, then it would be wrong for standing. So i was probably wrong. I still cant see the Arsenal doing it though. The last thing the want is a load of p*ssed up builders charging throught the gates and not buying any 7 pound chicken deals and Arsenal driving gloves.
"When we had to suffer the team is a lion because they suffer together." 4 July 2020 at Wolverhampton Wanderers
Arteta on his team's first away victory at a club above them in the Premiership since September 2015 at Leicester.
and
Thanks for mentioning Archie, Jasmine's rabbit. She'll be made up to know he got a mention on Arsenal Times...or as made up as a 3 year old can be!!!!
How about telling your daughter her rabbit will be quite tasty as a stew after it pegs it?
That way, it will always be a part of her.
Quote:Super Hans
So nobody else put Man Utd as their favourite other team?
There's over 60 teams in the country I like more.
Theodore roosevelt - In any moment of decision, the best thing you can do is the right thing, the next best thing is the wrong thing, and the worst thing you can do is nothing.
"When we had to suffer the team is a lion because they suffer together." 4 July 2020 at Wolverhampton Wanderers
Arteta on his team's first away victory at a club above them in the Premiership since September 2015 at Leicester.
1st pre-season match of the seaon, when?
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