By Kath
September 10 2011

England opened their quest for the 2011 Rugby World Cup but not the way we wanted to see it done. 

Rugby World Cup 2011

Pool Match

Argentina v England

England won today against Argentina but only just!

Ok, I have now calmed down and have my large rose tinted specs on...  Yes we only just won, yes Wilkinson missed nearly all his kicks ( is that an over statement)? Well he missed far too many for my liking.

But in the cold light of my pink glasses, G & T and Luther Van dross playing in the background .......Hey Baby We Won!(In that sexy voice of his)

I know, I know you are all thinking she has finally flipped.......Naah I did that years ago.   Just can't bring myself to analysis this match in a sensible way so................. with just a bit of Poetic Licence allowed, let me begin.

Welcome to 'Middle Earth'   My precious!

As the hobbits took to the field Gandalf  (Jonno) looked on and was well pleased with what he saw lots of England Stoor Hobbits (in a previous life Orcs).   The Stoor hobbits are shorter and stockier and have an affinity for water, boats and swimming.  Hence the taking to the High Seas earlier this week.  It did not help them though did it, as they were almost drowning at half time in a sea swell of Argentinian passion.

 All match picutres empics/PA Photos 

The England Stoor hobbits were undisciplined and as Gandalf looked on from his perch high in the tower, he cursed and swore..... Ha!   Maybe Bilbo Baggins (Wilkinson) had lost his magic ring.... perhaps, perhaps Gollum does not know.

Time for a change shouts Gandalf and on comes 'The Young One'  ..... Nooooo not Sir Cliff.... but Ben Youngs and immediately the fight became full of urgency and passion and excitement broke out with the following tribes around the hillsides as Ben flew over the magic line. 

And from somewhere Bilbo managed to control the oval ball and send it through to H mountain.

Now all was not well in the world of the Stoor Hobbits as they were huffing and puffing as the time counted down Gollum says 'We be nice to them, if they be nice to us' ....no gouging of eyes. The  overseer known as the Ref., seemed to have one eye but the Stoor Hobbits managed somehow to Steer (winks - no pun intended) passed him to win the fight in the end. 9-13.

and we had strange beings... madness My Precious, madness

My precious not happy, not happy at all.  

But the Stoor Hobbits will live to fight another day.  And so Gandalf took flight with his Squad hobbits and travelled onwards to Queenstown swiping at the media types on the way.

And so precious will ponder on the next outing........ yes ponder we will.