By Sadie
December 24 2006

Sadie (Shady Blue Lady) gives Singing The Blues her own unique look at Town’s game against Stoke City yesterday.

20,369 people came to Portman Road today to see Ipswich Town face Stoke City in possibly one of the most boring matches of the season.

 

With Richards in tights and Lee with new boots, the intro music comes on and the mascots come out…

 

Eventually the two teams join them after we envision a massive hole at the end of the tunnel that they all fall down as they run out.

 

Town’s sleepy side was Price, Bruce, Naylor, De Vos, Harding, Williams, Garvan, Legwinski, Roberts, Lee and Macken and those layered on the bench were Supple, Richards, Walton, Peters and Haynes.

 

Today’s 4th official deserves a special mention quite possibly being Monty Panesar.

 

The match starts with Stoke but Ricardo Fuller gets distracted by Father Christmas behind the goal and shoots into the north stand, and Alan Lee loses his hair band.

 

On 2 minutes Legwinski is turning into a cave man, come on, it’s not THAT cold. Naylor clears the ball from defence and sends the ball up field but the Stoke defence are on hand to help the no.1 collect.

 

Stoke have the first corner of the match on 5 minutes but nothing comes from it then Harding is ready to slip the ball away from Mamady Sidibe in defence.

 

Bruce clashes heads with Stokes Darrel Russell in the 7th minute and whilst play is stopped the news of Monty spreads and apparently he was in Sainsbury’s yesterday.

 

Harding makes a good run in the 8th minute but it’s easily collected by Steve Simonsen in goal for Stoke.

 

In the 9th minute Legwinski hugs a stoke player but referee Uriah Rennie does not approve and gives Stoke a free kick, Lee Hendrie takes the kick but Price collects.

 

Salif Diao is booked for Stoke on 10 minutes for an apparent high knee, and whilst we are waiting for the free kick to be taken… If you all hate Norwich clap your hands… Owen Garvan takes the kick for Town which curls just wide of the goal.

 

Onto 15 minutes when Stokes Lee Hendrie is booked for a foul on Williams, the free kick is taken by Bruce in the Town half but Lee can not capitalise.

 

On 17 minutes we have we have a chat about Christmas presents and Clint Hill climbs the ladder of Macken- nothing given.

 

A minute later Fuller is playing sleeping lions as this match turns even more similar to something you would watch in the big top tent.

 

22 minutes see an interesting shot from Dan Harding then as play goes in the Stoke flow Sidibe jumps over Naylor and wins a free kick for Stoke, the free kick turns into a shot even worse than Harding’s.

 

On 23 minutes Town are showing brilliant midfield work but their efforts are unrewarded then on 28 minutes Bruce starts a Town attack but Carl Hoefkens interrupts a ball to Roberts ending Towns run.

 

Town have their first corner of the match on the half hour but the corner is awful before Fuller nicks the ball, it takes a while but De Vos eventually defends from Sidibe and another chance for Stoke sees Russell blast over.

 

Harding walks the ball off the pitch in the 33rd minute which seems like a good time to mention our left wing of Harding and Roberts is crap.

 

Today it takes Town skipper 38 minutes to open his mouth and lift the team, well try to, I’m not sure a crane would even be able to lift these lot.

 

Lee has his first shot on 40 minutes, proving he did not in fact get sucked down the black hole at the end of the tunnel, then on 41 a Town corner from Roberts leaves more than a few raised eyebrows.

 

Williams is booked in the 42nd minute and as Stoke take their free kick Towns defence hold well before Price collects.

 

In the 44th minute Fuller hits the back netting for Stoke then in 2 minutes added Legwinski in the central position shoots straight to Simonsen.

 

Half time 0-0

 

I return to my seat in the 52nd minute to see Price making good saves down in front of the Green king stand then Hoefkens gives Town a throw after a battle with Roberts.

 

A good ball from De Vos is well defended by the Stoke captain Danny Higginbotham on 54 minutes before a collision in the box of Lee, Lewis Buxton and goalkeeper Simonsen, Lee gets up but the 2 Stoke players need treatment before they both carry on.

 

A Strike from Macken in the 57th minute hits the side netting then Stokes Liam Lawrence plays the ball into Legwinski.

 

A frustrated Lawrence knocks well over Prices goal on 58 minutes then Fuller gives Town a free kick for obstructing our ginger ninja Naylor.

 

On the hour Magilton has a drink and Stokes Carl Dickinson replaces Lewis Buxton, before Haynes replaces Lee.

 

Williams makes a top run along the wing on 65 minutes before striking wide, I am sure that Town are not going to score today, unfortunately I don’t share the confidence for Stoke.

 

Onto 70 minutes in this match that is duller than Deliah’s undies, when the Town defence are doing nothing, allowing Lawrence a free shot from the left which he puts past Price and into the net, the visitors are a goal up.

 

This does not wake up the Tractor boys and when Fuller breaks on 72 minutes Harding is the only one moving.

 

Harding is putting the work in again in the 75th minute, maybe trying to make up for the abysmal 1st half, then on 77 minutes the presence of the Stoke attack is obviously showing too strong for our dimwit defence to handle.

 

On 81 minutes Harding yells at Haynes, for nicking his hair gel I expect, then a Town corner by Williams is pathetic.

 

In the 82nd minute Peters replaces Bruce then Haynes puts in a good ball but Macken being Macken runs away.

 

Diao thanks Town for making his job much easier then play is stopped in the 87th minute with Lee Hendrie down after a Stoke corner.

 

On 89 minutes Roberts makes way for Walton for Town and injured Hendrie is replaced by David Brammer for Stoke, play resumes on 90 minutes with just 3 minutes added.

 

In injury time I win funky sock competition whilst no one in a Town shirt on the pitch wants to play, Macken messes around for a bit before shooting over, time’s up and we lost again.

 

            Happy Holidays x 

 

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