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PMS: Burnley
By Sadie December 3 2006
Sadie (Shady Blue Lady) gives Singing The Blues her own unique look at Town’s game against Burnley yesterday.

After a disastrous travelling week Town are back on home turf to try and put things right.

 

Those to try and help do this are Price, Bruce, Naylor, De Vos, Richards, Roberts, Garvan, Legwinski, Williams, Lee and Clarke, and on the bench are Supple, Sito, Peters, Haynes and Macken. Harding and Walton are out through suspension.

 

After a great night of Cricket I was hoping the football would follow suit, well lets wait and see.

 

Town start in bright, positive form in front of a crowd of 20, 254, and yet the visiting fans did not sing “You’re grounds too big for you” actually I don’t think they sung anything, well their choice I suppose, but our bright form faded quicker than a navy polo shirt from QD.

 

Naylor does what he is paid to do on 4 minutes (No that’s not to be representative of the ginger society) and I would have thought John McGreal would have more wrinkles by now, what is he, 73?

 

On 6 minutes I have an itchy eye ball and on the 8th minute I decide this is quiet and boring.

 

Kyle Lafferty and Steve Jones are causing a ruckus for Naylor, Bruce and Richards before shooting the ball to Price on 10 minutes.

 

Burnley have a corner in the 11th minute defended by Bruce, they Williams against McCann gives the Clarets a second corner, this time the ball comes in with McGreal rising to the occasion, but he heads the ball straight into the hands of Town keeper Price.

 

Hey guess what guys, Earnshaw’s an alien!!!

 

It’s a good job the Town defence is on the ball (Quite literally) to save 2 De Vos blunders in the 13th minute.

 

On the 14th minute Richards is unlucky when he gets caught up in a Claret sandwich before Jones sends the ball north.

 

Williams and O’Connor are down for treatment in the 16th minute after a collision of heads; both are ok after receiving the magical waterfall.

 

18 minutes gone Garvan makes a brilliant run through the centre and find Williams, Williams finds the corner flag, goal kick to Burnley.

 

Kyle Lafferty is offside on 21 minutes and Richards wins a battle with a giant in the 22nd, oh it’s like David and Goliath.

 

On 23 minutes Burnley nearly score after some frightful Town defending. Town respond with a good counter attack until Garvan passes the ball out wide.

 

On 25 minutes De Vos looks like he is about to pass out but battles on and on 26 minutes a moment of madness see’s the ball behind the Burnley no.1 Danny Coyne and brings everyone back down to the Burnley box for a corner, from which Garvan shoots and Coyne pulls off a fantastic save with his foot.

 

Naylor, Bruce and Richards are defending well from a strong Burnley attack on 28 minutes; they look threatening for a moment until Town re gain possession with a free kick for a Claret handball.

 

Coyne makes another crucial save on the half hour after Roberts finds Garvan, who plays it on for Clarke.

 

On 32 minutes, Lee falls over and on 36 minutes Williams is showing some skill to get around a Claret then wins a throw.

 

McCann is down on his knees facing north on 38 minutes- isn’t that a religion? Wahey, he is worshiping the mighty Town.

 

On 39 minutes I miss whatever was going on as I am marvelling over the size of a kit Kat.

 

Onto 43 minutes the ball is run from Lee’s feet then on 44 Richards wins and takes a free kick, it’s a good ball but Naylor is knocked down and the opportunity is gone.

 

In the 1 minute injury time played Bruce and Naylor are playing keepy uppy with their heads and De Vos is belting out instructions before he boots the ball clear.

 

Half time 0-0

 

Town have an attacking start to the second half and on the 47th minute Coyne saves a Legwinski header off the line.

 

On 49 minutes I finish doing a test on my brother and I now join the game to a Price goal kick and Lee rolling around on the floor.

 

Lee is on the ball on 52 minutes but as he shoots the ball hits a divot on our diseased pitch and the ball ends up at the far corner flag.

 

55 minutes, would you believe they put a man on the moon!

 

On 58 minutes Legwinski is looking for Towns lost cash by digging up the pitch (genius) then Burnley’s Thomas kicks Williams near the goolies.

 

On 62 minutes I lose funky sock competition!

 

On 64 minutes De Vos intercepts a ball in flight and sends the ball up field, but what goes up must come down, and it does, instantly.

 

Peters replaces Clarke on 67 minutes, Williams is fouled and McGreal is booked.

 

Burnley has Thomas booked as well on 68 minutes, it seems referee Mr. Keith Hill has finally found his pocket and in the 69th minute Williams steps off to have a wash.

 

Onto 79 minutes (Yes there really is nothing happening) Haynes replaces Williams, and current play consists of Wayne Thomas taking throws up and down the right side line, I can’t even be sarcastic about this, it’s plain and utter boring.

 

In the 81st minute a vertically challenged O’Connor brings Lee down to his level but nothing is given, and as it is a federal offence to say anything negative about De Vos- ZIP…

 

A fantastic cross comes into the box from Richards but Peters heads over.

 

On 84 minute I figure Town are no good at following directions, which would explain why the directions to away games in our match day programs are so shoddy.

 

85 minutes, hey guess what, 0-1, Kyle Lafferty (can’t be bothered to explain)

 

On the 87th minute Sinclair replaces Jones and a kit Kat costs 90p here.

 

In the 88th minute I am only wearing one glove and there are 7 pairs of white boots on the pitch.

 

On 89 minutes Town have a corner, Noel-Williams handles the ball receiving a yellow card and giving Town a penalty. I have never seen one penalty stir so much trouble, although it was funny seeing Haynes paddy after being told he wasn’t allowed to take it, after about 5 minutes the chosen man Lee is finally allowed to step up, he hits left, Coyne dives right and for once town are the side to comeback and snatch a point. Its 1-1

 

5 minutes time is added on, during which Lee gets the ball in and Roberts collides with Coyne, Town get a free kick for Lafferty on Lee which Richards takes, De Vos heads down for Garvan but Peters runs the ball out.

 

After 2 and a half minutes of injury time I silently plead for the match to finish, oh, it just has urm… strange.

 

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