By Chris Baker
April 23 2006

Alan Oliver is the biggest hypocrite in the North East. That is the news Tyne Talk can exclusively reveal today.

Anyone that reads Tyne Talk will know I am hardly this man's biggest fan. In fact, I don't think anyone at Tyne Talk is a fan of his, and this isn't the only site where that is the case (my sources inform me, you see). I read with amusement earlier this morning as Alan Oliver wrote:

"Glenn Roeder has moved into pole position to be the next manager of Newcastle United.

And The Chronicle believes that the United hierarchy have been so impressed at the way Roeder had dragged the club off the floor, the job is now his to lose.

The punters obviously feel the same because Roeder started yesterday at 17-1 for the job, and by mid-afternoon those odds had been slashed to 2-1."

After years of this kind of drivel from him, I no longer take what he says seriously. After all, this is about the fifth time in the past two months that he has claimed a certain person to be in pole position for the vacant manager's job.

But I could barely believe my eyes when I read his page in the match programme later on. This is what he wrote:

"I see one of our most renowned red top national newspapers had an "exclusive" on Monday under the headline "Toon Roeder" saying the caretaker boss was going to be made the permanent boss at St. James' Park.

They followed this on Wednesday putting up Gerard Houllier up for the job.

But wait a minute. Isn't this the same paper that not so long ago led its back page proclaiming that Paul Jewell was going to be the next manager at St. James' Park?

And a fortnight later the headline in the same paper read "Moyes for Newcastle".

And not only that, the aforesaid red top's sister paper told the whole world on Sunday that without a shadow of doubt Mark Hughes was the next boss.

And you know what I'm going to say don't you? When Freddy Shepherd names the new boss this newspaper will boast "We told you first."

Well they have put so many names up they are bound to get one right. No wonder newspapers and journalists get a bad name."

A phrase involving pots, kettles and the colour black sprang to mind when I read this in disbelief. For those who pay little or no attention to Alan Oliver (that should be everyone) let me recap what sort of stuff this "journalist" has written in the past few months, paraphrasing of course:

1. My sources inform me it's Allardyce

2. The Chronicle understands MON is still the first choice

3. Alan Curbishley is in the frame, that is the news the Chronicle can exclusively reveal today

4. I understand Houllier has thrown his hat into the frame and could be the new boss

5. We can exclusively reveal that Roeder is in pole position for the job.

In other words, Alan Oliver has been doing exactly what a "renowned red top national newspaper" is doing - speculating, talking rubbish, and naming several names so that he can claim he "exclusively" revealed it on a said date.

At the start of his piece in the programme, he writes "Is it me or is football writing becoming a lot more stressful these days?" Well Alan, perhaps your job would be less stressful if you stopped  speculating, lying, printing your opinion and portraying it as the majority view, and generally being a rubbish "journalist". And a hypocrite.