By Mark Deeks
April 14 2003

THE WEEK IT ALL WENT WRONG: EVERTON AWAY, APRIL 6TH AND MANCHESTER UNITED HOME, APRIL 12TH. Newcastle may now be out of the title race, but what on earth went wrong?? Lets see what Mr Mark Deeks has to say! It's all my fault. Everything that has happened to the toon in the last 7 days is because of me.

You see let's rewind to last Saturday. There I was, out on the town in Wakefield informing anyone who would listen to me (and many who didn't want to) that,
"Hey, A'll tell ya.... if we can win at Everton tomorra.... it's game on, man, game on for that title!!...An A'll tell yu summat else as well......I WOULD LOVE IT!!!.....etc etc etc....."

So there you go. Age old embittered cynic that I am, about how things'll never go right for NUFC to win something, finally allowed himself to dream. And that, ladies and gentleman, was that.

I don't really want to go into the details of the tw games too much. Suffice to say that the words "Neale" and "Barry" will never leave my lips again without being immediately followed by the kind of tirade that cannot be printed here.

"FAIR TACKLE BY GRAVESEN"?!?!?!?!?? IT WASN'T EVEN A MINOR ASSAULT!!!! G.B. flippin H!!! THAT'S WHAT THAT WAS!!!

Let's face it, from Barry to Wayne "Every other page of every Sunday Paper" Rooney, there must have been a dozen people who could have stopped that move developing, but no.

AND THEN HE BOOKS WOODGATE?!?!?!?!??

I can't discuss the Everton game anymore, except to say. Robert (and Woody as well)? Fabulous goal. Fabulous goal.

As for Man U at home? I couldn't even begin to get my feelings on this one within 1000 words. It's just too painful. But I'll try.

Decent start, superlatives fail me goal, cock-up, cock-up, cock-up, cock-up, half time. (1-4)

Cock up, cock up, boring bit, endurance test on listening to away support, consolation goal, the end. (2-6)

Ridiculous.

Football eh?

And yep.... all my fault.