The obvious consequence for the club is the loss of a proud historical record in that Carlton is the only foundation club not to have received this most unwanted piece of 'woodenware'.  It would also place a lot more question marks on the direction the club is taking in an ever changing football climate and whether the personnel at the club have what it takes to guide us out of the wilderness.  Those questions exist now if we fail to win a flag every year such is the culture of success at the club,  but add a wooden spoon and the peasants would be revolting and we have all seen exactly how revolting some of them can get.

For the fans, well I'll leave those with masochistic tendencies out of the equation and look at the normally well adjusted fans like myself who just
happen to grow a beard and sprout fangs at the first bounce of the ball at each Blues game. Personally I am scared to death of the wooden spoon.  Call it a fear of the unknown or call it a reluctance to receive the taunts and insults of opposition fans stored away in the memory banks for 106 years. Let's face it, they have all been there in one generation or another and they want us to get a taste of abject failure, to atone for the smugness of Blues fans, past and present. I'm not sure how well I can handle a century worth of abuse just looking for a way to escape.  Ever since 2000 when Essendon tied Carlton for premierships won and threatened to then go on with it and take the outright lead, the fact that the wooden spoon had never found its way into our trophy cabinet was that little something extra to maintain some superiority over all of our traditional foes.  Take that away and our armoury becomes a little thinner as we will be reduced to quoting almost meaningless head to head records and winning percentages.  Let's face it, half the fun of being a fan is the bragging rights that go with it.  Whether you be three parts 'tired and emotional' on your favourite CUB product and shouting it from the rooftops, or  whether you are quiet and controlled, with a little smile and that glint in your eye that just smacks of success and annoys the bejesus out of all others, the bragging rights are there.  They know it, we know it, they won't admit it, we won't let them forget it.  This is something I don't feel I am ready to give up just yet.

Let's look at it all logically.  What is the likelihood of it happening?

Compared to 1998 when we were last threatened by this unwanted title, it is fair to say that our injury toll is worse and our competition is better.  At the start of the year, West Coast, Geelong, St Kilda, Melbourne and Fremantle all had stakes in a share of the spoon.  After 5 rounds of the season, West Coast, Geelong and Melbourne are riding high in the top 8 while Fremantle has done enough to suggest they will be very competitive at all times and extremely difficult to beat on their own dunghill.  Only St Kilda is still struggling but not struggling so much that they couldn't defeat Carlton in round 1 with more sidelined players than we had.  We go into a round 6 encounter against the Bulldogs where the loser will see them themselves sitting stone motherless last and
contemplating their end of season trip.  The danger for us is that although they are yet to win a game, the Bulldogs have been far more consistent than us and have nowhere near the injury concerns.  Koutoufides is still a couple of months away (maybe), Allan is already booking his end of season trip (no skiing Matty), Hulme and Hickmott will be praying to come back about the same time as Kouta (touch wood), Camporeale will miss three games and McKernan will not be on deck this week.  We are relying on young or inexperienced players like Simon Wiggins, Trent Sporn, Lindsay Smith, Andrew Merrington, Ian Prendergast and Luke Livingston to be able to match it with players with more developed games and physiques, in the case of the latter quartet, in a key post.  Obviously, we are going to need each and every player to be at the top of their game week in, week out to overcome such an obstacle.

Just in case we need to steadily condition ourselves for the day should it come, are there any positives to come out of it?

Well yes there is, such is the miracle of the modern day draft system.  The pick of the best young player in the country for starters.  And if we
are particularly unfortunate, the prospect of a further priority pick in recognition of the truly pathetic teams of the competition. I might add that while most teams who find themselves in this situation really do need such benefits to have a hope in hell of escaping their predicament, this
would not necessarily be the case if the Blues were to find themselves there.  There is a lot of talent in this side and their ladder position has largely come about through incredibly bad luck with injury and a
smattering of complacency.  Going into a 2003 season with a clean injury sheet and having picked up the best young talent in the land after already
successfully blooding a fistful of talented youngsters in 2002 could only mean good things for Carlton.  We can also put paid to a time honoured tradition at Carlton to do whatever is necessary to plug the gaps and avoid the ultimate failure at all costs, often at the expense of building
for a real assault at the preferred silverware in the not too distant future. Can we take solace in the saying that 'every cloud has a silver lining'? 

As wooden spoon virgins we may well be terrified of it but once it has happened, it will never hurt as much as the first time again.  With every fibre of my being I don't want it to happen, but if it does I'm determined to be ready for it, accept it as part and parcel of the game, pick up the pieces and set about supporting the club as it starts on the next phase of its existence.