By Mister Happy
February 9 2005

Did anyone else know that the electricity in Bristol and surrounding areas is generated by strange accented farmhands riding bicycles? A light hearted look at our West Country friends. Courtesy of Avon and Somerset police (is it one force, two or are they amalgamated – who cares) we head off to the delightful South-West on a Friday evening. Something to do with the fact that they are unable to police two events within a 350 mile radius or something equally as silly.

Personally I cannot wait. It is likely to take as long to get from Walsall to Birmingham as it is from Brum to the land of the pink buses – obviously LSD is still a profitable business down that way.

Whilst on the subject of Bristol I must say I find our friends at the bottom of the A38 a strange and uneducated lot. Their factually incorrect footballing ditty of “One team in Bristol” proves that there is a Local Education Authority in more need of an overhaul than our very own. As we all know there are actually 3 teams in Bristol.

Bristol Rovers obviously; Bristol Bullets and Christ Church FC based in Clifton.

There is of course a much smaller “outfit” called Bristol City that not too many people have heard about. Let me tell you a story. Going back in time to the grand old eighties (May 30th 1988 to be exact) the Class of ‘88 from Bristol thought it would be a right old giggle to roam the Borough of Walsall over turning the cars of local residents having been tonked 4-0 in the play off final replay. Obviously automobiles have an uncanny resemblance to bales of hay in that neck of the woods.

However, the crime files were eventually closed in 2004 when the West Midlands Police Force (who have very long memories and are very short on humour) decided to exact revenge by giving the Class of ’04 a tour of Green Lane police station leading to message board cries of “Free the Bristol 10”. Hmmm! No Comment.

We are constantly being told by the residents of Bristol, the national press and TV experts that Bristol City are a massive club. What evidence is there to back up this claim?

There is no doubting that Bristol has a massive catchment area. From the docklands, Avon, Somerset and North Devon to Gloucestershire and Caerphilly (snigger) there is a massive population from which to draw support. And yet the combined total of people who choose to follow the Bristol clubs is around 15,000. How massive is that?

I have news for our friends from the West Country.

Wolverhampton Wanderers (*cough cough*) are a massive club. West Ham United are a massive club. Sunderland are a massive club. Bristol City most certainly are not.

Unfortunately for us, this small club in Bristol has one of the best players in this division. In Leroy Lita they certainly have a match winner.

Given our current defensive shambles and inability to win away from home I am expecting nothing but a serious defeat from this game.

Mister Happy’s prediction:

Small club in Bristol 4 Walsall 0