By Admin@SwiftHalf
December 31 2004

We don't have bad defenders, just a bad defence. It doesn't help that three of them actually make better offensive players, but we get by.

FIRST TEAM

^{3. Zigor Aranalde (aged 31) Captain Caveman, The Gypsy Zee, or Pirate of the River Tame. Even those who don’t rate him love him. Zigor is one of those players who is always going to be remembered. He is a full back that excels everywhere but in defence. Looks a bit lonely since Pedro Matias left the club. You won't find many players as committed as our Zigor. A true clubman, and a real 100%er. Zigor is this generations Kenny Mower.}  

 

^{5. Neil Emblen (aged 50 sumat) Merely an injury prone former Dingle?? Neil has proved himself to be anything but since signing from Norwich; deadly up front, strong in midfield and a rock at the back. The occasional skipper is certainly one of our unsung heroes.}

 

^{14. Mark Wright (aged 22) He must be good - he’s been around under the ‘promising youngster’ tag for absolutely ages and has seen fellow ‘promising youngsters’ like Hawley, Birch, Caines, Bishop and Carter all fall by the wayside. It’s hard not to think he is growing up to be the British  version of Zigor Aranalde.}

 

^{6. Ian Roper (aged 26) doesn’t look like a footballer, and doesn't play like a footballer either, yet he just happens to be our best natural defender. Began his career under Chris Nicholl, and  has played under every manager since. The longest serving player in this seasons squad. Ropes is a true stalwart, and always figures in the Player of the Season vote.}  

^{17. Julian Bennett (aged 19) Presumably taught to tackle by Paul Ritchie judging on his performances this season. No nonsense, young and pacy -sounds good. If he is, he won’t stay long. If he isn’t, well he won’t stay long either. Has a reputation for his dress sense, Neil Emblen takes the mick in his weekly column in the local pink. The fans have spotted him in various places dressed in daft things. We don't have a picture of Jules, but  we do have one of Mr T, who like Jules  had a unique dress sense, and doesn't suffer fools gladly. Just like our Jules} 

ON LOAN

^{2. Paul McShane (Aged 18) We have a "special link up with Manchester United". We tried to get Kieran Richardson, Jonathon Spector, Chris Eagles, Sylvan Ebanks-Blake but failed. You never know what you'll get from Man U...David Beckham was loaned to Preston and look at him now. But then Kris Taylor was at Man U...and erm, look at HIM now. Where? Burton Albion..the glamour!} 

IN RESERVE

^{18. Ryan Willets (aged 19) We only give honest opinions, and what can you say about a kid who you’ve never seen play a league match? Not a lot, so we won’t.}  

^{24. Scott Dann (aged 17) We haven’t seen him play properly either. All we know is that he's tall and Scouse..}