By Mister Happy
June 26 2004

Last year Mister Happy made a valiant attempt during close season to predict the final league standings for the first division. Sadly,my knowledge of football has been totally exposed and my humiliation complete.

Prior to the start of last season the site officiator handed Mister Happy a blank piece of paper and asked him to predict the final League standings of Division 1. Amidst much sniggering and amusement this document has now been retrieved from the bowels of SportNetwork HQ and the site can now reveal how little a certain Mister Happy knows about football.

 

Mister Happy

"Looking at the relegation places Mister Happy confidently predicts Alex to collect the wooden spoon in a keenly contested battle with near neighbours Sjoke. At least the Stoke fans will be happy that they finished above their nearest and dearest and both teams will swiftly return to where they belong. The Stoke fans will proclaim all season long "we are a big club", "we are too big to go down". Mister Happy will smile a wicked smile come the season end."

  

Well, it looks like I got that one wrong doesn't it. Anyway, Stoke cheated by snapping up what seemed like every available forward to prevent the mighty Saddlers from strengthening their forward line. Fortunately, another trip to the mighty Britannia is going to be further delayed as we both go in opposite directions this year. Get back to where you belong Stoke, enjoy it while it lasts. Do I sound bitter? Snort !!

 

Mister Happy

"The dark horses for this year will be the most boring team from the most boring place on earth. Coventry City will pick up the remaining play off spot and naturally, no-one will take the slightest bit of notice".

 

What on earth was I thinking with this one? As Whiting would say "you were a little wide of the mark with that one mate". Smarty pants.

 

Mister Happy

When pressed for a prediction for the Saddlers for this year Mister Happy shrugged and calmly predicted a final finish of thirteenth. "Easy Peesy - provided we get another striker and another centre half. Provided we don't give daft goals away and compete for 90 minutes; create in midfield and finish up front. Provided we don't keep changing formations; get too many injuries; the pitch doesn't rip up etc etc etc".

Bah! This just simply isn't fair. How on earth could I take into account the "Petterson Factor", or that Colin Lee would lose the plot, or that Samways would not only throw his dollies out the pram but completely turn the pram over. 

 

So, just for your amusement and my total humiliation, here is the league table I predicted last term. At least I correctly predicted the Baggies to go up.

 

Obviously  I knew very little about the first division. I readily admit that I know even less about the second (having not been there for so long (please take note Potters fans - big club blah blah)), so this years predictions will come from the more mature and knowledgeable Neil "The Rave" Ravenscroft. Has he got the balls? We shall see.

The Final League standings for last year as predicted by Mister Happy.

1. West Bromwich Albion

2. Sheffield United

3. West Ham United

4. Reading

5. Coventry City - yawn

6. Sunderland

7. Nottingham Forest

8. Derby County

9. Preston North End

10. Norwich City

11. Ipswich Town

12. Watford

13. Walsall

14. Crystal Palace

15. Cardiff City

16. Wigan Athletic

17. Burnley

18. Gillingham

19. Millwall

20. Rotherham United

21. Bradford City

22. Wimbledon

23. Joke City - Hoorah! big club LOL

24. Crewe Alexandra