Sat 16 Aug - COVENTRY CITY

 

Firstly, I would like to place on record my displeasure with the Football Leagues fixture generating PC. For the first away match of the season we are matched up against the Sky Blues, one of the most unappealing teams in the entire history of the Football League - a match that has about as much attraction as watching a pair of humping hippos at the safari park. Sadly, I am not a pervert.

Both the City of Coventry and Coventry City are so dull, so mind numbingly boring that by comparison Walsall is the Vegas of the Midlands. I have thought long and hard for the last two and a half minutes as to why the City of Coventry and Coventry City exist. I can only conclude that it exists as a place to be bypassed by the shandy drinkers on their way to the cultural Mecca that is the Black Country.

After the Second World War Coventry had the opportunity to re-build a prosperous and vibrant city, instead, they chose to build a concrete jungle suitable only for glue sniffers and muggers. The people of Coventry only have themselves to blame.

The planners dream went wrong.

M6 Saddler predicts the points to be shared in a game to forget. Only 49 more for safety then!!

Sky Blues 0 Saddlers 0

Mon 25 Aug - CREWE ALEXANDRA

Only a short hop up the M6 for what should be a cracker. One not to be missed. If the game is not all ticket then ensure you get to Gresty early as in the past we have sold out with fans locked outside. We should easily pack out the visiting enclosure and create a fantastic atmosphere.

Pubs a-plenty, chippies around the ground, close to the action, good views what else do you want (apart from legroom that is)?

Matches against Alex are normally entertaining squabbles and with the added Dario factor this should make for a great day out.

Once again, a trip to Crewe means visiting fans will be able to indulge in a spot of the now ritual Dario baiting after he slated us many years ago brandishing our football as that of park thugs or words to that effect.
Is he really homosexual? I am just curious, (though not in the sense that I am questioning my own sexuality you must understand), has Dario COME OUT so to speak or have I missed a chapter?

M6 Saddler predicts a rip roaring affair with the Saddlers heading home with 3 points after a wonderful attacking goal fest. I enjoy beating Crewe.

Alex 1 Saddlers 5

Sat 6 Sept - READING

 

The Mad Stad is a fantastic ground which is easy to find. The views and leg room on the terrace are all excellent. I have nothing really uncomplimentary to say about Reading and generally enjoy watching matches against them (when I stay awake that is).

If I remember correctly, there are a few boozers on the main road past the ground. If you park around the ground then be prepared for a long wait after the match as only one service road leads to the main drag (last time I went anyway). If you've never been, give it a go and return home as a green eyed monster.

If it is 3 points you are after then you may be a little disappointed as M6 Saddler predicts our first defeat of the season.

Royals 3 Saddlers 0

Tue 16 Sept - IPSWICH

M6 Saddler and the league fixture generator got off on the wrong foot after it decided to give us the Sky yawn Blues for the first away day special. After having calmed himself in the certain knowledge that we will be unbeaten in the first five matches (thank you generator) M6 Saddler is going to have a temper tantrum over this one.

Why the hell do we have to go to deepest Suffolk on a Tuesday night? Why is it not possible for a printed circuit board to be pre-programmed to give sides playing in midweek a local ish fixture? Only the slightly insane and mentally unstable will glean any pleasure from making this trip on a Tuesday night.

Ipswich confuses me. Is it an overspill from Londons East End which houses low life spivs and cockney wide boys or is it a retreat for Norfolks special needs that left their backward hamlets in search of pavements made from gold. Either way, if you close your eyes and think of Ipswich the subsequent images of fat families with dirty string vests in their yellow Ford Capris are quite frightening.

All in all, this fixture has about as much appeal as a ginger haired step child.

M6 Saddler appears to have lost the plot. However, he sadly predicts that this will be another away day defeat.

Tractor Boys 3 Saddlers 1