By Harry Haverton
January 24 2005

It seems like for the last three seasons, dirty Leeds United have never been out of the headlines, for all of the wrong reasons if you are a Leeds supporter. But yesterday's headlines probably mean that their nightmare is over and we can laugh no more. The way that our near neighbours evolved from Champions League semi-finalists to a load of "Bloody Rubbish!" in hardly any time at all was spectacular, aided by Leeds United's popularity rating stretching way beyond "Bloody Rubbish!" But they're on the way back now.

Or have Leeds United now become Chelsea's feeder club? Leeds United become 'Son of Chelsea'. Imagine how "Bloody Rubbish!" that would be. Everybody's two favourite clubs joined together in some secret pact. I don't like the sound of that at all.



And it's feasible because when Bates sold Chelsea to Roman Abramovich, part of the deal was that Bates kept his apartment in Chelsea Village.

Maybe Rich Roman didn't take too kindly to having the ex-Chairman constantly on the premises, re-employed him and sent him on to West Yorkshire. Just to get him away from Stamford Bridge.

Or maybe that's just a load of "Bloody Rubbish!" and Ken Bates really is going to save the club and march them back into the Premier League in a couple of years?

It's good to see Bates back in football actually. He's a no-nonsense figure who says what he thinks and doesn't talk a load of "Bloody Rubbish!" like most other football celebs do.

But nobody will welcome "Bloody Rubbish!" Leeds back into the top flight. Their unpopularity stems from the Revie era when tactics that can only be described as gamesmanship were used to haul in their large cache of trophies.

Revie was a "Bloody Rubbish!" England manager as well. He would never pick a Boro player for the national side when he was in charge and there were plenty from Jack Charlton's team who would have made the grade. Instead, he picked a load of "Bloody Rubbish!" and we didn't qualify for the 1978 World Cup. "Bloody Rubbish!" Revie! Cloughie would have won us that World Cup, no doubt about it.

When Cloughie was appointed Leeds manager, he told the players to throw all of their medals in the dustbin because they won them by cheating. He was right and compared with Cloughie's European Cup winning teams, Don Revie's Leeds United were just a load of "Bloody Rubbish!" really.

But Cloughie was the wrong man for that "Bloody Rubbish!" job at Elland Road. You need a man at the top whose personality matches the nature of the club and his didn't.

I am convinced that Leeds will now once again become successful because Ken Bates and Leeds United are just made for each other. Ken's personality matches the nature of the club. Ken Bates and Leeds United fit together just perfectly. Whatever happened to that nice insurance salesman, Mr Matthew Harding?

Most clubs, when they return from the brink of collapse, are hailed back into the fold as 'the Phoenix Rising From The Ashes.' We even had that label at Boro after the "Bloody Rubbish!" time when we went bust. But in Leeds United's case, it's more like a "Bloody Rubbish!" flea ridden pigeon being dragged out of the gutter.

Almost all of the comment from today's newspapers concentrated on the enormity of the deal and the implications for the concerned parties. Mostly positive I note, however Ron 'Chopper' Harris did have a go at Bates for being a bit of a tyrant.

When dirty cheating "Bloody Rubbish!" defender Ron Harris retired, Bates had him doing corporate hospitality at Stamford Bridge. What a "Bloody Rubbish!" appointment that was. The dirtiest, nastiest most cynical player outside of Leeds United doing meet and greet sessions and hosting cheese and wine parties. It just doesn't fit together somehow.

But the most "Bloody Rubbish!" thing that was said about the whole situation didn't come from a newspaper. It came direct from the Leeds fans themselves. This quote is from the BBC's website;

'And while many were encouraged by his achievements at Chelsea some questioned whether his long reign was a success.'

What a load of "Bloody Rubbish!" Of course he was a success at Chelsea. He bought the club for £1 and turned it into one of the top ten in Europe and you just can't argue with that.

Can he do the same with Leeds? Maybe now, at 73 years of age, Ken Bates has lost his magic touch and will come to be known as the Albert Steptoe of football after buying himself what proved to be a whole heap of West Yorkshire "Bloody Rubbish!"



More "Bloody Rubbish!" by Harry Haverton coming your way next weekend.