By Stuart Ward
January 5 2007

The greatest cup competition in the world gets underway this weekend, and Middlesbrough face the short yet perilous trip to Hull City. I apologise in advance.
Key Players

Nick Barmby – The midget gem (or one half of) faces his old club today.

He is proving to still be an attacking force for Hull. He scored twice at the weekend as Hull picked up a victory.

By all accounts he is undergoing a renaissance under new boss Phil Brown. Let's hope he falls flat on his face at the weekend, yes?

Ian Ashbee – The Tigers skipper is also their longest serving player.

He is a typical, horrible tackling midfielder that you get at these lower league paupers. He doesn’t score many goals, he just puts every ounce of himself into the game. In other words he kicks everything that moves.

Whoever lines up in midfield for us is going to know they have been in a game.

David Livermore – As the only other member of the Hull squad I have heard of, Livermore will no doubt keep this article in his football scrapbook, as he achieves something most players can only ever dream of. Being a Key Player.

He is another midfielder, but one who is a bit classier than Ashbee. He must be, he signed for the Leeds Dirties and then left them for Hull less than two weeks later.

The Manager

Phil Brown – Brown has recently been upgraded from Caretaker to full-blown manager after leading an upsurge from the Tigers.

He meets Boro after back to back wins in the Championship, so his side will be on a high, especially with a giant Mega-club like us coming down from on high to mingle with the commoners.

Likely Lineup

Duke

France Delaney Dawson Turner

Marney Ashbee Livermore

Fagan Parkin Barmby

The only change Hull are likely to make is Duke coming in for the fantastically named Bo Myhill due to injury.

Brown has being utilising a 4-3-3 formation of late, and is unlikely to change that due to the visit of Boro.

I am assured that Delaney and Dawson have been immense as of late for the Tigers. They are both good in the air and “’Ard as hell” according to my Hull supporting mate.

I hope to god we play Viduka and Yakubu, because our other strikers are a bit rubbish, and I doubt they will have the strength to out battle these two bruisers.

Midfield and attack is where things get a bit more interesting with this side.

In the midfield, they employ two midfield hackers and one “player”. This term is to be used loosely.

Livermore is said player. He takes the free kicks and stuff, don’t you know. He will be the one who is on the ball most, so hopefully whoever is centre midfield for us will give him a good smacking early on, let them know we mean business.

Marney and Ashbee in particular will be the ones given the role of booting our more skilful players off the park. They will thunder into tackles and not give us a minute's peace.

This could be a good tactic seeing as how none of our midfield like it when they have time on the ball.

Up front, Nick Barmby, at the age of 96 is still terrorising defences in the Championship. He will probably have lost a bit of pace, but he is the class act in this side.

He scored two against Sheffield Wednesday and apparently the first was a decent goal, so whoever plays centre half is going to have to pay attention.

Parkin is the Donkey that you always seem to get. A big lump who will back in, elbow and generally try and injure any centre half he can, all in the hope of winning his header for the two smaller strikers to get onto.

Now, with that remarkably difficult part of the article out of the way, it is onto the Boro.

Key Players

Adam Johnson – I think the young flier will get his chance against Hull, as Boro look to protect Downing from the nasty bullies of Hull.

We have all seen him coming on as a sub, and he looks good. He will want to get the ball at his feet and run at the Championship defenders, and so he should.

He has pace to burn, and has loads of skill, so it should be a bit of entertainment at least. If he can play well, get forward and support the attackers then we should be OK.

Lee Cattermole – I don’t think Boateng will play tomorrow, so Cattermole will be vitally important as he battles for territory in the middle.

I honestly think he will be made captain tomorrow too. He will be inspirational in the role and probably be man of the match.

Yakubu – He seems to like the FA Cup, and I am going to put him down for goals today.

The big man is getting back to his best, and is in the middle of a scoring streak, which is why there is no chance of Southgate leaving him out of this one.

He will need to show his strength and use his pace, and he is bound to get chances against a Championship defence. He will take them and I will be a few goals closer to a free drinking session.

The Manager

Gareth Southgate – Whilst he likes the FA Cup, he will recognise that the League is more important and I expect him to rest a few players.

He did well against Sheffield United, so we will probably lose tomorrow. He doesn’t like winning back to back games our Gareth.

Likely Lineup

Schwarzer

Parnaby Pogatetz Xavier Taylor

Mendieta Euell Cattermole Johnson

Yakubu Christie

It will be changes galore from the side that beat Sheffield United, with Southgate resting the more injury prone/lazy members of our team. This means that Woodgate, Morrison, Boateng, Downing and Viduka will all be either left out or put on the bench.

In defence, Pogatetz will be left in along with Taylor in order to have some continuity and help for the out of practice Riggot and the rubbish Parnaby.

It looks like an alright defence, with Xavier well capabale of deputising at central defence for Woodgate.

Our midfield is going to be a big monster of a problem. Mendieta will be put in the right for some reason I cant grasp, and he will be rubbish.

In the middle, Euell will come in alongside Cattermole to provide some support for the front two. Well that’s the theory anyway.

Cattermole will have a snorter of a game as he is made captain. He will be the battler in the middle and will give anyone who goes near him hell.

On the left, Boro will look for some class to come from Johnson. He will be asked to provide the flair for the side, and get some crosses into the box, or make things happen by just running at people.

Up front, I expect Viduka to be put on the bench, just in case.

Christie will return to partner the Yak, and they will look terrible. Christie will run all over and make the Yak look lazy, but I still expect the big man to fire us into the next round. He needs to stay in the middle more, keep out of Johnson’s way, and get some more strikers goals, like his first on New Year's Day.

How it will go

It is going to be difficult, especially as Southgate is likely to pick a second string side, but I think the Yak will drag us through by grabbing a couple. This coupled with Cattermole’s desire and drive should see us through. Just.

2-1 Boro.

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