SPURS: NLP do battle With TyneTalk


Oh bother!

By Gary Beaumont
December 14 2003

The weekend fixture saw two rival message boards hosted by Sportnetwork do battle. TyneTalk and NLP sent representatives to the game and those same representatives have taken their time to write their views on the events.

The Battle Of The Reports


Newcastle 4 Tottenham 0

The weekend fixture saw two rival message boards hosted by Sportnetwork (www.sportnetwork.net) do battle. TyneTalk (www.tyne-talk.tk) and NLP (www.northlondonpride.co.uk) sent representatives to the game and those same representatives have taken their time to write their views on the events. Sadly because of Spurs' inability to perform the NLP article concentrates on other issues to hand.

SPURS VIEW - Jon Houghton


My memory of yesterday's events are still a little hazy but here goes: A gloriously sunny morning in the Toon began with a short Metro ride and a pilgrimage to the Tyne Bridge [ok then, so it was just something to pass the time before the pubs opened.] Very imposing structure it is though. After rummaging around the Quayside vainly searching for an open Boozer it was time to wander into town and a look at the monument. I then established a base camp in Weatherspoons and awaited the arrival of DaveNUFC. Four pints later though by 11:45 there was still no sign of Dave. So, with a sense of being 'stood up' I received a call saying that the East Anglian mob had touched down and were mobbed up in 'Rosies'. I'd just got in the taxi when I got a call from Dave saying that he was 5 minutes away. So having broken my record for the shortest taxi ride ever [about 50 feet] it was onwards and upwards to the Vault in the Bigg Market. This place has to be seen just for the amazing quality of the female bar staff - top totty.

Met up with Dave and sank a few beverages and put the world to rights then awaited the arrival of the now-infamous 'One Eyed Burglar'. OEB though is a 'canny lad' and immediately started off the banter regarding our chances. I defended Shell's honour with regard to the 'bike' comment on NLP, but after these early exchanges we got down to the serious business of drinking as much as possible. With this noble quest in mind we decamped to the Blu Bambu, a night club which generously opens its doors at lunchtime on match days for 'exotic dancers'. What a heady combination - low lights, cheap beer, very cheap Sambuca and a bevy of impossibly attractive, marvellously formed young ladies. First up was a dusky maiden who strutted her stuff soulfully and sexily; second up was a blonde lady who must have been a gymnast at some stage of her life; thirdly came possibly the best of the bunch who must have been at least 5'10" with legs that seemed to go on for ever and a body to die for - absolutely superb. There was even something for the ladies with several of the male bar staff being topless - shameful exploitation I say.

After waxing lyrical for around an hour and a half, Dave and OEB managed to drag me away from the Blu Bambu [kicking and screaming] for the short walk to the stadium. Somehow along the way I'd forgotten all about meeting the East Anglian mob at Rosies - oh well, I'm sure I wasn't missed. A somewhat enjoyable afternoon in the Toon was ruined somewhat by Spurs' shameful capitulation at St James' Park, but I was determined not to let that ruin my day so after the game with gritted teeth I met up with Dave, OEB and OEB's dad. The problem by now was that I was having immense trouble trying to understand the Geordie twang and wished that I'd brought along an interpreter, so sorry chaps if I nodded, frowned, or shook my head at inappropriate moments.

www.northlondonpride.co.uk

NEWCASTLE VIEW - davenufc


Newcastle recorded their biggest league win of the season as a Frenchman and a Geordie conspired to send us back up to 5th in the Premiership.

Stunning strikes from Robert put us into a two-goal lead and although the first was amazing the second was even better. Shearer finished the job from two Robert corners to kill off Spurs with three goals in eleven second half minutes.

The Frenchman's first strike came in what had been a half which could have went either way, a volley from 25 yards, that so often in the past had found row Z screamed into the net.. But his second was even better as he beat the Spurs Keeper from 30 yards.

Shearers 2 while less spectacular were still special and saw the Geordie hero add another couple to his already spectacular career, I have no idea how we are going to replace this man its not something I even want to think about.

As for Spurs, if I was a spurs fan I think I would be protesting that stability is restored and a manager appointed, because I have seldom seen a midfield in such dire need of strengthening.

In a day that started with Geordies and Spurs fans watching strippers and drinking shorts, was ended with a naked cockney performance, in midfield.

But at least one spurs fan In the shape of Jon had the guts and decency to join us in a drink afterwards, an good on him.

www.tyne-talk.tk

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