By Bath Man
February 9 2004

Bath Man's Bohemian Rhapsody

Is this the real life-
Is this just fantasy-
Top of the Prem-
Is a reality-
Open your eyes
Look up to the skies and see-
A field full of Bath Lads,for you I feel sympathy-
Because wins easy come,losses no,
A little high,little low,
Anyway the wind blows,doesn't really matter to Olly,
To Olly

Lawrence,just killed the ball,
Got a knee against his head,
Pulled the ball back now it’s dead,
Lawrence ,the game had just begun,
But now we've gone and thrown it all away
Lawrence ooo,
You were lucky with your try
Voyce holding back tacklers till you scored
Carry on,carry on,as nothing was seen by White

Too late, no tries have come,
Sends shivers down my spine-
Body's aching all the time,
Goodbye everybody-see you in May
When you Waspie cheats will face the truth-
Lawrence ooo- (any way the wind blows)
You will be destroyed
You will wish you'd never been born at all-

I see a little silhouetto of a man,
In the mush,in the mush did you see Woody go-
Pushing and sniping-looked like fighting to me-
King and Lewsey, King and Lewsey,
King and Lewsey, King and Lewsey
King and Lewsey had to go o o
But I'm just a poor hooker and nobody loves me-
He's just a poor hooker in poor company-
Spare him his life from this monstrosity-
Easy come easy go-,will you let me throw-
Leota! No-,we will not let you throw-let him throw-
Leota! We will not let you throw-let him throw
Leota! We will not let you throw-let me throw
Will not let you throw-let me throw
Will not let you throw let me throw
No,no,no,no,no,no,no-
Mummy mummy ,mummy mummy ,mummy mummy let me throw-
Borthwick has a catch put aside for me,for me,for me-

So you think you can beat us with just one try-
Wait till May when your backline will die-
Oh Waspies-I can’t wait till May Waspies-
Just gotta get out-just gotta get out to HQ

Nothing really matters,
Anyone can see,
Nothing really matters-Except beating the cheating Waspies

Any way the wind blows....

Bath Man's Sound of Silence

Hello Parker , my old Pen
I've come to flirt with you again,
Because a vision softly creeping,
Of a cup we will be keeping,
Unlike the Tiggers whose season is at an end
and still they play
To the sound of silence.

In Edgeley Park, I shout alone
But at the Rec we are at home
'Neath the splendour of Great Pulteney Street,
We beat the oppos up every week
When their backs were split
by the flash of an Olly flight
That split the ****e
And we were never silent

And in the naked light I saw
Insects falling to the floor
Glaws Boys talking without winning,
Saintsmen beaten without grinning,
Tykes making breaks that never scored
And how we roared
To break the sound of silence.

"Fools" said Cooch ,"You do not know
Bad debt like a cancer grows.
Hear my words that I might teach you,
You Brizzlers could learn a thing or two"
But his words like silent raindrops fell,
and down Bris went
To play in the ground of silence

And the people bowed and prayed
To the side that Knuckles made.
And the team flashed out its warning,
By the season it was forming.
And the signs said, Bath are back
and no one will stand in our way
Just like the old days.
No more the sounds of silence.

Bath Man's Lost In France

We have lost in France
In the fields the frogs were singing
We have lost in France
But the tie is just beginning
As I stood there in the evening rain
I had a losing feeling I can't explain
We have lost in France, but just

We have lost in France
But without some big guns playing
And the crowd all danced
However next week they’ll be paying
When I looked up on bathrugbyere
I couldn’t believe what I saw there
We have lost in France, but just

Oo la la la oo la la la Dan…
Oo la la la Danielli

We have lost in France
But the wine is overflowing
We have lost in France
But the Rec will soon be glowing
And I looked round for a telephone
To say “We’re gonna smash you at home”
We have lost in France, but just.

Oo lalala oo la la la Dan
Oo la la la oo la la la Danielli

Bath Man's American Pie

A long long time ago
I can still remember how that rugby used to make me smile
And I knew if he had a chance
Knuckles could make that back line dance
And maybe we’d be happy for a while.

But February made me shiver
With every injury delivered
Bad news on the doorstep
They couldn't take one more step

I can't remember if I cried
When I read about the injured side
But something touched me deep inside
The team in Blue, Black and White

So
{Refrain}
Bye-bye, relegation dog fight
Take my horn to away games
To give the oppos a fright
And them good old boys drinking cider were tight
Singin' bury me in Blue, Black and White

Did you write the Book of Love
And do you have faith in God above
If Knuckles tells you so
Do you believe in the rolling maul
Can rucking save your mortal soul
And can you teach me how to tackle real low

Well, I know that you're in love with Tinds
'Cause I saw you dancin' in the gym
You both kicked off your shoes
Man, I dig those black, white and blues

I was a lonely teenage loosehead prop
With a cut lip, belly and nowt on top
But I knew I was out of luck
When I tackled the blue, black and white

I started singin'

Bye-bye, relegation dog fight
Take my horn to away games
To give the oppos a fright
And them good old boys drinking cider were tight
Singin' bury me in blue, black and white

Now for ten years we've been out on our own
And praise piles high on Knuckles throne
But that's not how it used to be
For the jester coached like an Aussie queen
And the players played like Torville and Dean
And swear words came from you and me

Oh, and while the Bris were going down
Big Jack gave Knuckles the jester’s crown
The Rec was new adorned
No tickets were returned
And Pezza shouts loud for his Marx’s
The forwards practiced in the park
And we sang c’mon Bath in the dark
Whilst dressed in Blue, Black and White

We were singing

Bye-bye, relegation dog fight
Take my horn to away games
To give the oppos a fright
And them good old boys drinking cider were tight
Singin' bury me in blue, black and white

Helter Skelter in a summer swelter
The Welsh flew off and we signed some belters
Fids, Flats, Dunc and Zak to name a few
The ref called foul out on the grass
The players tried for a forward pass
With the jester on the sidelines having a blast

Now the half-time air was sweet perfume
While the Uni Girls danced to a marching tune
We all got up to dance
Oh, give St. Olly a chance
'Cause the oppos tried to play the field
The Bath tight five refused to yield
Do you recall what was deal
A win to the blue, black and white

We started singing
{Refrain}

Oh, and there was Beastie all over the place
Popping up in lots of Space
Scoring time and time again
So come on, Jack was nimble, Jack was quick
Jack bought well and made them click
Cause winning is the Bath man’s only friend

Oh, and as I watched them on Sky TV
My hands were raised constantly
No Tigger born in hell
Could break that Knuckles spell
And as the fans cheered high into the night
To light the sacrifical rite
I saw Coochie laughing with delight
Dressed in Blue, Black and White

He was singing
{Refrain}

I met a girl who supports les blues
And I asked her for some happy news
But she just cried and turned away
I went down to the sacred store
And bought a shirt like years before
But the man there said that Brendon couldn't play

And in the streets the children screamed
The lovers cried, and the poets dreamed
But not a word was spoken
The Oppo scrum was broken
And the three men I admire most
Knuckles, Smith and Foles the coach
They watch ‘em score under the post
Wearing Blue, Black and White

And they were singing
{Refrain}

They were singing bye-bye, relegation dog fight
Take my horn to away games
To give the oppos a fright
Them good old boys drinking cider were tight
Singin' bury me in Blue, Black and White.