By Jason Harris
December 29 2004

It has been said since time immemorial (ok, since the boy Webb Ellis copped 200 lines from his games master for picking up the ball and running with it during a soccer match) that rugby is a 15 man game. More recently, with the physical demands now placed upon the players, it’s become a 22 man game. However, after reading the press reports of Saracens’ 22-20 over Newcastle the other weekend, you’d have thought that one man played the parts of all 44 players on duty at Vicarage Road.

For it was last Sunday that rugby’s global superstar, the man who won the World Cup with THAT drop goal, the player whose autograph all the kids stayed behind to get, the one, the only, Jonny Wilkinson came off the bench at half time to steer his - and it’s definitely HIS as nearly every media outlet calls the team based at Kingston Park by their new name; Jonny Wilkinson’s Newcastle – Falcons to victory. Only for his two late “hit and hope” (his words, not mine) drop goals to sail wide and give the win to Saracens.

Now, I believe that rugby needs its superstar. Rugby needs a household name that everyone can say “he (JW) is the England rugby captain” when asked who he is or if they are shown a photograph. Rugby needs Jonny Wilkinson, an undoubtedly talented player with no controversial off-field vices to tarnish his image, unlike several round ball stars I could mention who are, let’s face it, normally in the newspapers for reasons other than their performances on the paddock.

So the second half recovery inspired by the Falcons’ reserve outside half was good news for the club, good news for England and extremely good news for the assembled hacks whose jobs were made very easy when it came to reporting what happened during the game. I’ll explain:

I had to miss the game due to playing the dutiful son back home in a wet and miserable Wales (Christmas; relatives; presents; you know the score) and thought that I could rely upon Fleet Street’s finest to describe how Sarries raced into a lead, only to let the Falcons back into it until they snatched the win at the death. Two tries for Taine Randell, a cracker for Mark Bartholomeusz and Kevin Yates nearly spoiling the party with a silly sin-binning.

However, my faith was misplaced as those journos covering the match for the nationals gave us a Jonny report instead of a match report. I know it’s big news when the biggest name in the sport returns to action after a while laid-up with injury. I know it’s even bigger news when he is the inspiration for a comeback that nearly won his side the match. I know it’s huge news when he misses not one, but two drop goals which could have put his side into the quarter finals of the cup. But please, even the Falcons fans are getting fed up with the media reporting on JW’s every move, every kick, every pass, every run, every fumble, every time he pulls up his socks or takes a drink.

I’m certain that those of you who are reading this will think I am both pathetic and sad as you continue, but I was so curious by this phenomenon that I just had to work out the average number of words Monday’s match reports could go through before mentioning “Wilkinson” or (if you are the Sun or Mirror) “Wilko”

First prize goes to the Times whose writer managed eight in his piece of approximately 440 words. That’s a Word-to-Wilko ratio (WTW) of 55. The good old Currant Bun is not far behind with six “Wilkinsons” and two “Wilkos” from their 480 words for a net WTW of 60.

The middle ground is occupied, as you would expect, by the Mirror (73.33 recurring) and the Independent (76). Though the man from the Indy lost all brownie points with the Saracens supporters gained from a fairly restrained WTW , because only one of the nine paragraphs submitted contained any reference to the home side and there were no references at all to the Sarries scorers. Shame on him.

Things finally get a little more sensible at the Telegraph (80) and the Guardian brings up the rear with 92.5 words before you-know-who has his name in the text. Oh, by the way, I didn’t count headlines or “Jonny” or I could have been here all night.

So what, I hear you ask, is the point of all this ranting? The point is that although the Newcastle and England captain is big box office and the most recognised rugby player in the country, probably on the planet, his travails are starting to become the stuff of celebrity rather than the rugby field.

Sure, he did tremendously well when he almost turned things around in that Powergen Cup clash, but those of us who know the slightest thing about rugby really would prefer a report of who scored the points and how instead of “Here’s Jonny!”. If I wanted that sort of thing, I’d have gone to the doctor’s surgery, pretending I had the ‘flu, and picked up a copy of “Hello!” from the waiting room table.

Frankly, this sort of sensationalist garbage insults the intelligence of rugby fans who, although being buoyed by the return of England’s hero, really don’t need chapter and verse on one person when there is an 80-minute match between two whole sides to talk about.

What next? Front page headlines in the red tops saying that Jonny paid 28p to a Newcastle Postmaster for a second class stamp? Do me a favour. The old saying “never let the facts get in the way of a good story” is most appropriate in this context and I am extremely disappointed that professional journalists can’t report on a match without taking an angle so predictable, it makes the Scottish Premier League look like the National Lottery.

Anyway, there goes any aspiration I have to be a newspaper reporter after upsetting the full-timers and deciding that, if I were in the press box, I would have delivered the facts. Just the facts.

PS. The column you have just read has a WTW ratio of 127. Not bad, considering it was about Jonny Wilkinson.