By Rabble Rouser
June 11 2002

Rabble Rouser manages to blag a ticket to the Saracens end of season Gala Dinner and gives a fairly fuzzy account of what went on. Floozies, Boozers, Fezboys and Losers!

Ouch! Me aching head. I've just perfected the three day hangover as it was one ROUGH night at the Hilton Metropole hotel last Friday.

Former Sky presenter Mark Durden-Smith-Chalmers was there with his mum Judith boogeying away after he had dispensed with his MC duties. Those duties, I have to say, were carried out with utter professionalism. Shame I was sat so far back that he looked about two inches tall. He sounded good, though.

Amongst all the glitterati were a few faces I didn't expect to see.

Abdel "Mr Untenable" (Deakin's words, not mine) Benazzi was there with fellow Frenchie Tommy Castanets. Sadly, Khalid was not there. The wandering lock was last seen on lap 876 of the south terminal at Gatwick airport, apparently.

Frankie Peanuts put in a surprise appearance and was seen chinwagging with Uncle Buck during the evening. I wouldn't have minded listening in to that conversation. If anyone has any ideas on what they could have been saying, please send your answers in the usual format to the usual address. I'd run a caption competition, but I don't have the photographic evidence, sadly.

Jannie "dropgoal" DeBeer was there, minus crutches, talking to Cool Boot Luke and Bert Spragg about life back in South Africa. Wonder where these Bokkes will be next season?

Scott "I'm offski, pal" Murray was there, despite having the ceiling at his flat collapse on him just a couple of hours before. More of Murray in a minute.


Awards were presented for the best try of the year (Gerald Arasa); Off pitch commitment award (James Parkes); Young Player of the Year (Adryan Winnan); Players' player (Scott Murray - were they having a larf or being serious? I tried to find out but got nowhwere); and Saracens Player of the Year (Tony Roques). Congratulations to them all.

One award that made me grin was "Best Sponsor" which went, unsurprisingly in my opinion, to Unibond. Could it possibly have something to do with most money shelled out? Perhaps.


Maybe if the Fezboys can rustle up a couple of grand they too could be considered next season. Then again, with a bottle of house red weighing in at a hefty twenty quid, they may have to start saving right now.

Finally, the "most drunken Fezboy" award must go to Large who was ushered away by a radiant (and raging, no doubt) Mrs L well before close of play. Unfortunately, due to his early exit, he couldn't receive his award which was, apparently, a golden ice bucket. His last movements are unknown, suffice to say he won't be seen in a rugby club bar for the foreseeable future.