Saracens
A Tale of War
By Innings
November 26 2015
Come, gather round, for I have a tale to tell, a tale of heroes, of warlike men whose deeds inspire the mortals who follow after them.
In those days there were many cities and tribes of the countries. And the cities and tribes had bands of warriors, each band engaging to invade the territories and citadels of others to do combat. And the greatest winners in combat would be crowned the Champions of Europe. There were islands to the west of the lands, and tribes of the west were fearsome, and many times the Champions of Europe were from the westernmost of the islands.
One tribe in the westernmost island was known as the Ulstermen, and they had been Champions of Europe in days gone by. They had a citadel of great renown, the Fortress of Ravenhill, a place of antiquity and legend. The Ulstermen did undertake their practices there in confidence that they were practising the true faith of rugby. The citizens of Ulster made the invaders welcome with smiles and honeyed words, but their warriors were pitiless men, and they slew the invaders. So it came that warriors from other tribes, and their followers came in fear and without hope.
But a new king arose in Ulster: he was a builder and his name was King Span. And King Span decreed that Fortress Ravenhill was no longer a temple and fortress suited to the rites of the Ulstermen. So it came about that Fortress Ravenhill was to be pulled to the ground and on its ground would be a new temple, and the new temple would bear the new king’s name and honour, so it would be called the Kingspan Stadium. And the warriors of Ulster and their followers were greatly pleased. But the warriors of the other tribes saw the place and they saw that the warriors of Ulster were no longer to be feared. In middle island of the west was another tribe. They were a nomadic tribe, and they had no fortress of their own but lived by occupation of the citadels of tribes who followed alien gods. And this tribe was called the Saracens. But in the years of the recent memory, the Saracens had taken a citadel of their own, and they had built around it great defences, and their pleasant park of Allianz became a fortress, and they would travel thence to do battle with other cities and tribes. And they feared not those other cities and tribes.
And so it came to pass that the warriors of Saracens and their followers travelled to Ulster, prepared for battle. And the citizens of that place made them welcome as was their habit. The new Grand Vizier of Kingspan was a man welcoming by name and welcoming by nature, and he was known as Kiss. And Kiss welcomed the invaders, and his followers offered to the followers of Saracens goblets of the warmest chocolate, and meats of the finest and sweetest that the region could offer. And the followers of Saracens found them good.
Before battle, all stood and remembered many who had died in greater battles, and recalled the deeds of the prophet Jonah, for truly he had been a mighty warrior.
And the magicians of Ulster called upon the gods, and the gods sent snow and wind, to trouble the invaders.
The warriors of Ulster were valiant. But a warrior of the Saracens Rhode into battle before the warrior of Ulster had descended from the skies and the judges of the battle called for paintings of the scene, And paintings were made and the judges did consider the paintings, and the Saracen Rhode from the field to his tent to meditate upon his ways. But the Ulster warriors were unable to inflict damage at this time. And so it came about that the weather gods dictated that the battle be dour. And the Saracens faced the winds and made many errors, and thrice did the boot of the Ulster warriors inflict hurt upon the scoreboard. But the Saracens were not afraid. And as the battle reached thirty minutes the swords of the Saracens cut open the ranks of the Ulster warriors, and Goode thinking was combined with the Wyles of a wing’d man to record the first great blow of the battle.
And the battle paused at this time, and many maids and young men of the place did deliver more of the best drinks and meats of the place. And the offerings were good, and those who partook of them did welcome them in the cold of the night.
Battle did resume after this time, but the warriors of both sides were careful, and there was great pushing amongst the great warriors of both sides. And there were two brothers amongst the Saracens, mighty warriors both, great of strength, delicate of hands. And one of these mighty men was known as Mako, and he did render great execution among the ranks of Ulster, breaking their defences and causing upset in their ranks. And his brother Billy did likewise. But Billy was over-committed and whilst unarmed did attack a warrior of Ulster. Paintings of the scene were not clear, but he retired to his tent to meditate upon his follies, as is the way of these battles. But the Saracens were not troubled at this time. The cavalry of the Saracens were fresh again and one horseman came from a family of Taylors. He was skilled in his art, and threaded the ball through the eye of a needle, and beyond the needle there arrived Goode thinking to render a second mighty blow upon the Ulster Warriors. And whilst Billy still rested in his tent, a young warrior named Owen took to his own self the opportunity to take his sword to the ranks of Ulstermen, and he cut through the ranks of them and passed on to the representative of the Taylors, who took with his own scissors the chance to cut through the last threads of the Ulster cloth and inflict yet more harm upon them. And Billy did return, to find that in his moments of meditation the warriors of Saracens had sore hurt the warriors of Ulster.
And the battle ran quiet now, for the warriors were truly fatigued. But the Saracens were less fatigued, and as the last minute of the battle came upon the armies the Saracens made a great assault upon the last defences of Ulster. And the captain of the Ulstermen, the Best of his army, retired to his tent to meditate upon his folly, for he had entered the battle from the wrong side of the trenches. And Saracens inflicted a last mighty blow upon the Ulstermen in the absence of their leader, and the battle was ended.
And the followers of Ulster retired from the scene, and they voiced their discontent, for they had belief and their belief had proven false. And they asked whether Ulster believed in Kiss. But the Ulstermen also grieved, for they knew that the invaders had broken into their Treasury, and that they had stolen a jewel of great value, the great Five Pointed Jewel of an Away Win. And the warmest of chocolate did turn to acid in their stomachs, and the sweetest of meats did turn to ashes in their mouths.
Digg
Delicious
Facebook
Reddit
Stumbleupon26/11/2015 20:42
Edited 2 time(s). Last edit at 2015:12:07:17:36:01 by Darraghgirl.
Go to the top of the class, young man! A bonus house point for you too! (as well as Sarries!)
Nous sommes l'armée noir et rouge !
I cannot wait until the sequel " Battle on the Hill with a Mill when the Ulstermen travel Eastwards"
SUPPORT Help for Heroes:
Help for Heroes
More Saracens headlines
- END OF SEASON POLL AT LAST
- PWR Semi Final and Final 2025-26 Report
- Saracens Women v Ealing Trailfinders PWR Final Report
- Saracens Women v Ealing Trailfinders PWR Final Preview
- MARK McCALL, AN APPRECIATION
- Saracens Women v Exeter Chiefs Women PWR Semi-Final Report
- Exeter Chiefs v Saracens Premiership Report
- EXETER v SARACENS: please post match related content here
- SURVIVAL OF THE FITTEST
Saracens latest threads
- END OF SEASON POLL AT LAST
- End of Season Poll (finally) #1
- Writing articles for the Sarries page
- More Game Time
- PensionBee Now main shirt sponsor?
- 26/27 fixtures
- PWR Semi Final and Final 2025-26 Report
- Champions Cup group 26/27
- New photo for the Sarries message board
- Saracens Women v Ealing Trailfinders PWR Final Report