By ChrisC
December 29 2014

Shiny and New.   Sometimes I am eidetic and so it was one Boxing Day.   I don’t much enjoy board games and find that my mind wanders when participating – the cry; “come on Chris – it’s your turn” frequently ringing out from my fellow players.    

I was distractedly playing a game with some impenetrably arcane rules when the CD playing in the background burst forth with Madonna’s “Like a Virgin”.

“Frankfurt – April 1985!” I blurted out.  My fellow players looked at each other, obviously concerned that Tourette’s Syndrome had suddenly been added to my list of ailments.  

My wife groaned.  “Go on then” she said.  

I explained I was in Frankfurt in April 1985 and getting ready to go down for breakfast in the marble walled hotel restaurant. The sun was streaming in through the tall windows of my elegant room which looked down over a city centre square that was already bustling with workers heading for their offices as they hurried beneath the blossom laden boughs of the trees that bordered the thoroughfare. 

I had turned on the TV and after flicking through the channels stumbled upon MTV which, with its wall to wall music videos, was new to me and there was the then “American Pop Princess” singing “Like a Virgin”. 

Breakfast taken I was collected and transported to a nearby factory where a machine my Production Director was salivating over was to be demonstrated.  

The machine was enormous, painted green, made lots of noise and cost £330k. As it was put through its whirring, clanking paces and those observing made appreciative noises I felt like the on-looking small boy in Hans Christian Anderson’s “The Emperor’s New Clothes”. 

Unbidden the words from Madonna’s song came back to me: 

“I was beat incomplete
I'd been had, I was sad and blue
But you made me feel
Yeah, you made me feel
Shiny and new” 

I had the company cheque book in my briefcase. In the general euphoria it would have been very easy to sign on the dotted line and pay the 50% deposit. There was nobody to gainsay me the decision was mine. 

 Expectant eyes turned on me; my colleague seemed to be undergoing some kind of religious experience, I was sure I could see an antumbra.  The Germans smiled triumphantly and suggested we go for lunch and seal the deal. 

“Before we go I have just two questions” I said, heads nodded enthusiastically. “What does this third of a million pound machine actually do that’s so much better or different than what the existing plant achieves? And what payback time will I get on my investment” I asked. Throats were cleared, glances exchanged, shoulders shrugged. The German Sales Director muttered a barely audible “ten years or so” and tentatively added “It is new technology after all”.   

Lunch was cancelled and we didn’t have the shiny new machine. Luckily I’ve always liked bratwurst and sauerkraut which was our airport repast as we waited for our flight home – my colleague sulked. 

To those readers who’ve stuck with me thus far many thanks. 

I have the overwhelming impression of Bath (see here we go!!!) that it’s all very shiny and new even though it’s almost five years ago that pharmaceutical multi-millionaire Bruce Craig, who sold his company for a reputed £956 million, having a reported personal wealth of £300 million, bought the club from greeting card doyen Andrew Brownsward who’d been pumping his cash into Bath for fourteen years with scant reward. 

 In Mr Craig Bath has an impeccably groomed, handsome, immensely wealthy, tanned owner who often has his beautiful French wife by his side on match days.  He clearly loves rugby and as with the other rugby owning glitterati is prepared to pay, and pay handsomely, for success. 

I can imagine Mike Ford, Bernard Laporte, Mark McCall and Christoph Bombet being whisked aloft in an executive lift alongside their multi-millionaire owners (or indeed multi-billionaire owner) to a rugby version of Harrods, where rugby exotica is displayed for their delectation by commission hungry  agents.  

Meanwhile down below the rest of the Premiership’s Directors of Rugby make their way to the rugby equivalents of John Lewis, House of Fraser and Debenhams while wondering how they can convince their own star players, often entirely home grown or developed out of recognition from the player which arrived, to little fanfare, from some other club of modest circumstances, to eschew the riches beyond the dreams of avarice that the rugby glitterati offer. 

Last Saturday the Jimmy Choo and Louboutin clad Bath entertained the Doc Martin and Timberland shod Exeter while Tigers headed across to Manchester for a meeting with Sale. Tigers of course do not have the luxury of a wealthy benefactor as do Sale, Saracens, London Irish, Wasps and of course Bath. 

 In getting another bonus point victory Bath dug their stilettos further into the top four having enjoyed considerable help from Mr Doyle who once again officiated with an eagle eye for any indiscretion by the visiting team but became “Nelsonesque” for the majority of those perpetrated by the hosts.  

Tigers, at the same time, contrived to put in a simply awful performance for the first fifty minutes at Salford with their defence falling apart in the unexpected absence of Tony Allen’s organisational skills combining with too many missed first up tackles, largely due to defensive misalignment . Cockerill was baffled as that wasn’t what had been trained for, although of course Allen would have been anticipated as being there to implement the strategy. 

The lack of defensive shape was mirrored in attack by the backs who were once again seemingly without a plan or at least they ignored its pursuit reverting to some good individual touches to wrest the victory from Sale, due in part to the hosts having decided after sixty minutes that the game was won.   Just as in the LV= Cup match earlier in the season, a courageous Tigers came back strongly and got the victory, moving up to 5th in the league as a consequence. 

It will be interesting to see who Mike Ford starts against what’s sure to be a Tigers’ trio of Marcos Ayerza, Tom Youngs and Dan Cole. 

Of late Rob. Webber has been forced to sit on the Bath bench while Batty had a run of starts but last Saturday the Bath set piece looked more assured when the ex Leeds and Wasps hooker took his opportunity. 

 I really like Webber, especially the way he, like his colleagues, keeps the ball alive after he’s executed one of his trademark carries.  His throwing to the line out is more often or not squint but these days that doesn’t seem to matter as it’s becoming increasingly rare for sanction to be applied to any of the Premiership hookers for this misdemeanour.  In fact providing they don’t deliver the ball beyond the outside arm of their jumpers they’re pretty safe. 

Webber was joined by Henry Thomas, whose scrummaging has come on leaps and bounds since he left Sale but my bet is that England incumbent David Wilson will be on the visitors’ tight head to face Ayerza in what should be a good contest that perhaps favours the Argentine.  

Auterac has been a good signing from Saracens and is a very impressive young prop but my guess is it’ll be Welsh international Paul James who opposes Dan Cole on Sunday. 

Another transgression that increasingly escapes consistent sanction is the loose-head boring in.  It’s a practice widely used but few are more egregious than Paul James who packs down with hips already swivelled to project him inwards ready to then march round the outside of the scrum. 

He’s by no means alone in this and if he and other offending loose-heads aren’t consistently punished then scrums will continue to be a mess.  The laws are there – match officials must use them but do so consistently. Binding and feeding the second row also pass muster nowadays.  

It should be a good front row contest and one that may just favour the hosts in front of a baying Welford Road crowd. 

Dom Day has been ever present in the Bath second row of late and I can’t see him losing his place this weekend but Stuart Hooper may have to yield to Dave Attwood who is back to the kind of irrepressible form that persuaded Martin Johnson to give him his first international chance. 

Attwood made a big impression when he came on against Exeter with some great carrying while Day does the brainwork. 

I make it that Tigers have around ten locks in their squad with the latest additions Whetton and Peterson, the latter American Eagle being a giant of a man. Parling reportedly had a stud hole in his calf but should be fit for Sunday’s encounter and if so I hope that the increasingly totemic Brad Thorn is recovered to partner the British Lion as it will take such a combination to match the Bath duo and Thorn’s grunt at scrum time against the heavyweight Bath pack will be especially welcome. 

Where the scales could tip in favour of the hosts is the presence of the either Croft or Gibson on the Tigers’ blind side, although it seems that Croft is once again injured nothing’s lost by Gibson being on duty as they both bring an additional athleticism that Bath don’t have unless they move Hooper to the blind-side, where he has played on numerous occasions, thereby bringing another potent line out option while his team would lose nothing at the breakdown. 

Another contest worth the admission price alone will be that between Louw and ex Bath favourite Salvi who was just magnificent against Sale.  Louw turned over Exeter ball although once by handling the ball while prone on the ground yet the match officials missed it entirely. 

Crane and Houston should alsoprovide a crunching vignette.  Both are solid as rocks at the base of the scrum, pests at the breakdown and dynamic in the loose. 

Salvi and Louw will be pivotal figures and I hope, oh how I hope, we are blessed with some competency and consistency in managing the breakdown so we can enjoy what could be a close unsullied contest. 

It was noticeable last Saturday how Tigers’ back play stepped up in pace following Harrison’s arrival with his text book quick fire service, the Tigers’ stalwart having firmly usurped Mele as the back up to Youngs.  Harrison won’t start any more than Youngs will be replaced as captain so he can concentrate on his game but Harrison is a great impact substitute. 

In the second half of last season Chris Cook was at London Welsh playing in the Championship now he’s starting for Bath ahead of both Stringer and Micky Young who really can’t catch a break with just four starts this term and now Fijian scrum half Matawalu is on his way.  

Cook is a typical gobby scrum half, like his brethren he has far too much to say for himself and waves his hands about with gay abandon.  He was also a recipient of Mr Doyle’s largesse when he kicked the ball out of the Exeter scrum – “ball’s out” shouted Doyle – “oh no it wasn’t” I shouted – well it is panto season! 

Burns did well enough against Sale as did Williams when he came on. Who’ll start on Saturday? 

I think it’ll be Williams for the control he brings but Burns could stir things up later and the prospect of Burns and Ford on the same pitch could be interesting. 

 Ford was good against Exeter although the visitors’ two tries came directly from his mistakes.  Once a player is anointed by the capricious media he can do no wrong, the positives will be accentuated and negatives eliminated until the hacks from the Fourth Estate turn on their protégé.  Just ask Owen Farrell and his dad. 

Ford senior, locked in battle with the equally sharp elbowed Farrell senior, plays his son often and well.  By moving him back once the opposition are attacking he’s eliminating the negative aspect of his boy’s skill set.  Exactly as Tigers did when Ian Humphreys was their fly-half.  On the front foot though he’s quite devastating save for the two errant passes that gave Exeter their tries – but there I go – off message as ever! 

I rather despair of individuals who, in the interest of peddling their own agenda, seem to lose the point that rugby is a team game.  Of course sparks of individual brilliance illuminate but it’s the collegiate whole that counts.  It’s the teams that play as teams that best provide settings in which their jewels can shine. 

With Allen missing, his knees finally giving way to the depredations of the preceding weeks, the defence too often lost focus and alignment.  Bai and Goneva joined together in the Tigers’ centre and the propinquity of the Fijians certainly means they love to attack but in the Tigers’ midfield there were more dog-legs than at Battersea.     

Without Allen selflessly setting up attacking bridgeheads and deploying the defensive bulwarks every Sale attack looked likely to yield yet another try in that opening hour. Allen provides the mortar that sticks together the bricks of Tigers efforts, sparks of brilliance will beat a tiring side retreating into its shell but not the likes of Northampton, Bath and Saracens who play to the very last minute. 

Rugby is played over eighty minutes with a good team greater than the sum of its parts. 

Kyle Eastmond’s lack of bulk and at times lack of defensive awareness, especially if Ford happens to be in the line alongside him, can produce gaps through the 10/12 channel. Going forward though Eastmond is magnificent. Tremendous upper body strength and quicksilver feet are a dangerous combination and his team play to his areas of expertise with sublime skill and a complexity of arrangement appropriate to the Halle orchestra. 

My fear is that having bankrolled the acquisition of Sam Burgess, like Eastmond a league convert, for a reputed cool half a million quid Bruce Craig will want to see him play and I’m not entirely sure where he fits in.  Hopefully not at the expense of Eastmond. 

Tuilagi is still missing for Tigers.  Remarkably in the last two seasons he has thus far made just fourteen appearances for his club. 

Goneva is an international centre but to play there for Tigers denies them a valuable resource out wide so in yet another throw of the dice I’d like to see Bai or Loamanu paired with Allen next Sunday with the other big Fijian back on the wing. 

Jonathan Joseph is a wonderfully powerful yet subtle player.  He’s unselfish and having broken through the defensive line or in support of Eastmond, who cuts some superlative lines himself, the ex London Irish centre is more than willing to bring his colleagues to the party.  

In the back three Miles Benjamin had another good all round game so I can’t see any reason why he shouldn’t continue come Sunday.  Tigers will need to finish their chances and there are few better at administering the coup de grace than the powerful Benjamin or Goneva. 

Matt Banahan’s enjoying a renaissance after his return from the centres, a move that remains a mystery to me, he looks comfortable back on the wing and a powerful weapon on the end of Ford’s beautifully judged kicks, the big Channel Islander getting himself in just the right position to make the most of them.  He still struggles when the ball is popped behind him, especially if it’s of the grubber variety but if Tigers aimlessly loft it, finding him on the front foot as they did Haden of Sale, then they’re again asking for trouble. 

On the other wing it’ll be Rokoduguni, who, in my book, has been ill used by Stuart Lancaster, or Tigers’ old favourite Horacio Agulla.  His release was a great mistake, ostensibly due to his international commitments with Argentina however that rather begs the question; “what about Ayerza, Matera and Camacho?” 

I think the big military man may get the nod in case the Tigers’ wide defence resumes its game of statues as Agulla is the more dangerous in broken play but Tigers, with Allen back, will have tightened up there. 

Matthew Tait too often refuses to pass and too often sees the ball die in his arms as did Abendanon and as does Foden. Tait is a lovely runner but too often over plays his hand but has great defensive awareness, is good under the high ball, tackles like a lion, kicks beautifully and is better at full back which is a shame for Tommy Bell who played well but probably not well enough to keep the #15 shirt. 

Anthony Watson, another émigré from London Irish, is a wriggling, sinuous bundle of energy who I love to watch.  Extraordinarily dangerous coming forward and solid in defence, probably the league’s form fullback and another not to kick the ball to in space. 

Can Tigers keep on the straight and narrow at home against the old enemy and avenge the drubbing they got at the Rec., in the opening weeks of the season? 

Well they’ll need Allen and Thorn back and to have more of a game plan than just trying to storm the Bath barricades or aimlessly hoofing the ball downfield.  They’ll need to play as a team. 

Bath will also play until the last whistle but of course at Welford Road Tigers can and should win and ensure it’ll be more “Shiny Happy People” than “shiny and new” that celebrates the New Year. 

Happy 2015.

Tigers v Bath Rugby AP Preview

Discussion started by TheLeicesterTigers.co.uk , 29/12/2014 23:34

TheLeicesterTigers.co.uk
29/12/2014 23:34

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Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 2015:01:06:08:35:11 by Tiggs.

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Purebob
30/12/2014 09:55

"Stillettos" Splendid !

Excellent preview mate. I do not share your optimism, however, unless Tigers step up hugely I fear a defeat by Bed, Bath. and Beyond. I shall be there freezing on the terrace and cheering anyway !

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Johns
30/12/2014 10:52

Many thanks Chris, I am surprised though that you were in Germany before you asked the most important questions “What does this third of a million pound machine actually do that’s so much better or different than what the existing plant achieves? And what payback time will I get on my investment”

Your comment chris " Dave Attwood who is back to the kind of irrepressible form that persuaded Martin Johnson to give him his first international chance." We have had many visitors here claiming Martin Johnson never gave any one a first international cap, well spotted.

Great review as usual, thanks.

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S4llyC
30/12/2014 11:32

Many thanks Chris, for another great preview. Like PB, I feel we have a VERY tough task to turn over the West country galacticos, but again this is where we on the terrace and in the stands need to play our part. We can do this, if we all pull together.

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Stopsy
30/12/2014 11:38

Thanks Chris, if we have a decent plan and execute it well we can do this, if however, we choose to see what allth ehype is about with Bath's Backs by giving them the ball in space we could be embarrassed again.

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Tiger in the Bath
30/12/2014 17:23

Excellent preview. Thanks Chris. Where would Cook fit in the pecking order if he were at Tigers do you think? Or put another way, how highly do you rate him?

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ChrisC
30/12/2014 17:36

Well from what I've seen (which isn't much) I wouldn't ditch Youngs, Harrison or Mele to have him instead.

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Farmboy
30/12/2014 18:23

View from the other side
[www.rugbynetwork.net]

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Tiger in the Bath
30/12/2014 18:51

Quote:

ChrisC
Well from what I've seen (which isn't much) I wouldn't ditch Youngs, Harrison or Mele to have him instead.

Thanks. Some Bath fans rate him, but generally I think SH is Bath's main weakness.

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Yorkie
31/12/2014 09:07

Thanks Chris.

Tigers will have to tighten up their defence and improve their kicking game considerably if they're going to win this one. As Bath's close in defence is generally pretty good, not sure where our tries, if any, will come from?

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odd-shaped vagaries
03/01/2015 09:51

Interesting that last night Stains did not play the full eighty and how sweet would it have been to see Deano's boys pull a Tigeresque rabbit out of the old titfer .. but the resultant jolt will surely see Stains not run the risk again, thus reinforcing your point

Excellent commentary, but Tigers' team selection [as published - watch this space] does not match your hopes; whether this is a ploy to get Barf casual until another type of stiletto is slid between their ribs or a case of our injury plague causing us to 'bring out yer dead' as some of our fellow supporters would have us believe is yet to be revealed. I am not as despondent as many seem to be, but I am cautious

Thanks again, with all digits overlapping

The referee is the final arbitrary ------------------ {The persons and events mentioned in this post are fictitious. Any similarity to actual persons, living or dead, or to actual events is purely co-incidental}

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odd-shaped vagaries
04/01/2015 16:46

Contempt of despondency was right, though so was caution

Digits realigned and erect, at least some of them

Well played Tigers!

The referee is the final arbitrary ------------------ {The persons and events mentioned in this post are fictitious. Any similarity to actual persons, living or dead, or to actual events is purely co-incidental}

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Tiggs
06/01/2015 08:34

Thanks again !

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