By ChrisC
April 29 2013

Cooking Up a Storm                                                                                                                               It was just before Christmas that I had the grandiose idea to eschew the usual fowl in favour of Venison for Christmas lunch. My wife rolled her eyes (she does that a lot!) and said that was fine if: (a) I was paying for it and (b) I was cooking it.

Full of bravado and Zinfandel I heard myself say “no problem”. Now my mother taught me to cook but only “survival food”: grilled or fried meat, eggs and the like but since I left home I’ve mainly been cooked for and when that didn’t happen I reverted to survival mode.

In the cold light of a December morning my chutzpah of the night before didn’t seem so clever and my wife was not for turning. So off I went to Chatsworth farm shop where the pretty assistant convinced me that a haunch of Venison was the way for me to proceed – my credit card duly took a pummelling and I was to collect the joint on Christmas Eve.

Now how to cook the damn thing? I scoured the internet and reached my decision, thereafter diligently going about assembling the ingredients while my wife smiled and, with that knowing look wives perfect over the years, she waited for me to beg for help but was disappointed as I soldiered on, albeit with much cursing. On Christmas Day, when the assembly congratulated her on the board she’d laid before them she said; “nothing to do with me, it was all Chris’s handiwork”. Mouths gaped, gasps were heard and a round of applause was given. I was chuffed. Really, really, chuffed.

Success breeds success as the saying goes so, flushed with confidence, I did something I never do - made a New Year’s Resolution. I was going to learn to cook properly.

There have been some slip ups (don’t talk to me about sour dough bread!!) but now I hand-make all our bread, cakes and pastries and cook our main meal three or more times a week and have even produced the comestibles for several small dinner parties. I really enjoy cooking – how surprising and metro-sexual of me!

It’s all about confidence. The better I get the more I try and if I get a set-back I know it’s most likely temporary (with the exception of sour dough bread!) and I have another go.

It’s what I admire most about many sportsmen (and women of course); their determination to work hard, be dedicated to improve and stick at it.

London Irish have also shown such qualities this season after really being under the cosh early on and looking to be relegation candidates.

Brian Smith’s charges were looking down and out with just the chance of Sale being worse looking to be their only route to Premiership survival.

Well Sale weren’t worse and rallied while London Welsh, after fighting tooth and nail and looking likely to survive their debut Premiership season, were hit with a sucker punch of a five point deduction after an administrative cock-up came to light.

With cruel irony London Irish entertained the doomed London Welsh a couple of weeks back which must have been an odd sort of occasion with the home side and supporters bathed in relief but at the same time surely it must have been tinged with regret at how things have worked out for the brave newcomers.

Any empathy for their visitors wasn’t shared by the London Irish team who scored seven tries on their way to a 47 – 28 victory which moved them to ninth position in the Premiership.

Tigers meanwhile produced a silly, hubristic and unprofessional performance down at the Recreation Ground paying the penalty of a loss that should never have been.

As a consequence Tigers find themselves with yet another “must win” game against London Irish on the final day of the league season.

Should they manage a win and collect five points while the humbled Saracens fail to collect any points from their home encounter with the self same Bath who have a last chance to secure Heineken Cup rugby if other results go their way, then Tigers could end the season atop the league.

However should Tigers manage to construct another loss and not manage to secure even a losing bonus point then, with Quins playing Northampton at The Stoop where a simple four point win could see them leapfrog Tigers into second place, while Saints would need a five point win to perform the same calisthenics. So Tigers must win to secure second spot and have a chance of being #1. It’s good fortune that the two teams behind Tigers are playing each other!

How pivotal looks the loss at home to Saracens back in February.

Both the London Irish loose-head props who look likely to be vying for the shirt come Saturday; Alex Corbisiero and Max Lahiff are joining a mini exodus from Reading after Saturday going off to Northampton and Melbourne Rebels respectively and my guess is it’ll be the American born Corbisiero, who’ll be making just his second Premiership start of an injury ravaged season, facing his England team mate Dan Cole.

Veteran ex England hooker David Paice, who was capped five times by his country, will surely be opposite the England incumbent; Tom Youngs while with Marcos Ayerza counted out by injury Tigers will use Mulipola again on the loose-head, who will hope that, unlike at the Recreation Ground a fortnight before, referee Luke Pearce (who was also in charge in of the reverse fixture and when he awarded Tigers two penalty tries) will not allow the opposing tight head, most likely Tongan international Halani ‘Aulika, to repeatedly bore in as did Bath’s Wilson.

In the opening exchanges in the reverse fixture just before Christmas the Tigers pack were given a stern test by the home side and that was with Lahiff and Ayerza filling the loose-head spots but they succumbed later. Tigers will need to stamp their authority on proceedings at an early stage but it’ll not be straight forward by any means.

Geoff Parling was on the bench that cold pre-Christmas day by the M4 but I’d bet he’ll be starting this time and that the experiment of using Steve Mafi as his partner won’t be repeated. For as sprightly as the Tongan wunderkind is more power is needed at scrum time and so I’d hope to see Ed Slater restored to complete his outstanding league season.

Brian Smith has a very settled pairing at lock with ex Tiger George Skivington and All Black Bryn Evans being a highly effective combination in all phases of play. I’d expect the contest between the locks to incline toward the hosts and of course Tigers will have Tom Croft in the line out to further tip the scales in their favour although Bath bound Matt Garvey will have something to say about it I’m sure.

The ever present Julian Salvi looks sure to be on parade and he, Croft and probably Jordan Crane will be looking to make a much better fist of the breakdown than Tigers did against Bath when the intensity and resourcing of the contest was badly lacking and with new Tiger Jamie Gibson seemingly out of favour with Smith for some time, not having started since the end of November, it’ll probably be Samoan international Ofisa Treviranus in the Irish #7 shirt, even though he plays his international rugby on the blind-side.

I thought Waldrom looked below his best against Bath and so for me it’d be Jordan Crane to start for Tigers in the #8 shirt to confront the “abrasive” and hard running Chris Hala’ufia, trying to punch through the sometimes inconsistent London Irish defence around the breakdown but Tigers will need to be much resolute themselves as against Bath they were sloppy.

I think that at Welford Road Tigers’ pack will have enough in the set pieces to have an edge but there needs to be a big improvement if they’re to contain the London Irish breakaway trio who can cause chaos at the breakdown. If they’re given an inch they’ll take a mile of that I’m sure.

Another ex Tiger; Aussie Pat Phibbs, who’s had seven starts since he moved to Reading whereas at Tigers he also found himself stuck behind Sam Harrison and managed just four Premiership appearances and then from the bench, has had to give way again, this time to Darren Allinson who’s started a couple of times since he returned from injury.

When Allinson was understudy to Paul Hodgson I rather liked his controlled and unfussy style but the times I’ve seen him since he became “numero uno” at Reading he seems to have become infected by the Sir John Barbirolli virus and has taken to waving his arms about as if auditioning to conduct the Halle Orchestra. What is it that infects scrum halves that they think these displays of histrionics are of use to man or beast? I thought Ben Youngs had been cured but last time out he was at it again; waving his arms about, shouting at the referee and generally behaving like a spoilt child.

Youngs though still produces sparks of brilliance but I wish he’d cut out all the silliness.

Come Saturday it’d better that both scrum halves concentrate on their jobs and I think that if Tigers bring back their missing intensity at the breakdown and, in defensive situations, keep their collective eyes on the blindside where there’ll be the looming threat of Garvey, Treviranus and Hala’ufia, Ben Youngs could have the easier job in getting his colleagues moving forward. But he’ll also have to stop his reversion to poorly executed and ill considered kicking as will the rest of the backs.

Ian Humphreys is the default option for London Irish when it comes to fly half and he’s changed little since his time with Tigers. He’s still very gifted when on the front foot and with his boot but when it comes to tackling – oh dear! There’s been some improvement but not much as successive teams have had to do a quick shuffle to get him out of the way when he’s under attack. This works well until there’s turnover ball and then it’s “man the battle stations” to get him out of the way which can lead to some odd alignments. 

I’d bet the Tigers’ breakaway trio will have him in their sights come Saturday afternoon as will Manu Tuilagi and Thompstone if the Irishman gets moved out to the wing area and he could provide the portal through which Tigers will mount their attacks.

Toby Flood was dragooned into a largely attacking role against Bath, seemingly regardless of the prevailing circumstances, and there were too many speculative and forced passes and plays. I’m hoping that the collective madness we saw in the last match will have been cured and if so, with kicking prowess likely to be even, I’d see Flood as being influential in deciding the outcome.

Shane Geraghty, returned from his travels, looks probable for the inside centre berth to face Tony Allen. I don’t think the six time capped Geraghty will get much change out of Tigers’ defensive bulwark and will have watched the Tigers’ inside centre breaking the gain line at will against both Saints and Northampton and with the London Irish 10/12 and 9/10 channels looking vulnerable I’d not bet against him doing it again.

The Armitage production line has produced another gem in the shape of young Guy. At 6’3” and over sixteen stone he’s a big unit and what a prospect. This has been his break out season and given the sort it’s been for his club it’s remarkable that from just a dozen Premiership appearances he’s scored five tries. Jonathan Joseph is another taking Bruce Craig’s money at Bath next season and so the way is clear for Armitage to make the position his own. I know it’s a bit much to ask but surely he’ll be involved at international level sooner rather than later.

Manu Tuilagi must be saving himself for the end of season bean feast as he’s been below his best too often and he needs to get himself involved away from the rucks more often. I want to see him looking for the ball as did his brother Alex and then he can test Guy Armitage’s and London Irish’s defence.

Against Bath Tigers’ preposterous strategy saw the collegiate defensive effort collapse and once again too often Matt Tait found himself exposed and alone. Flood must reprise his defensive role and I hope that Niall Morris is fit to play as with Matt Smith on the wing the Tigers’ defensive edifice crumbled. Thompstone too was recklessly pushed forward leaving a waif like Tait marooned and to his own devices. If Morris is unavailable then Murphy must be deployed to assist.

Tigers’ defensive construct is especially important as with a likely London Irish back three of the evergreen Topsy Ojo, still one of the best counter attacking backs around, the lethal Samoan international Sailosi Tagicakibau and the ever reliable boot of Tom Homer, Tait will be copiously tested both under the high ball and as the last line of defence against Ojo and Tagicakibau.

For his part in attack Tait must stop trying too hard, there will be opportunities, he doesn’t need to endlessly go for broke or the “hail Mary” pass, better to work ex Irish winger Adam Thompstone, who’s career has been revitalised by his move to Welford Road, into space so he can run at his erstwhile colleagues.

While London Irish have nothing to play for all teams relish the chance to score a victory at Welford Road. I was there the last time they managed it on 3rd May 2003 when they squeezed home by a solitary point to take the spoils by twenty points to nineteen. The nearest they’ve come since was a draw on Guy Fawkes Night 2011.

Will there be fireworks this time around? There could well be but it may be a damp squib but either way Tigers need to win and win well and I can see them doing just that.

I don’t have a recipe for their success but I can provide one for a delicious Salmon Koubliac!

Tigers v London Irish Match Preview

Discussion started by TheLeicesterTigers.co.uk , 29/04/2013 17:32

TheLeicesterTigers.co.uk
29/04/2013 17:32

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Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 2013:05:08:18:13:40 by Tiggs.

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Lazyboy346
29/04/2013 19:45

Good preview, although your information about Irish needs a few minor tweaks. The Humphreys in question is Ian, not David (who played for us in 1997 and now is Head Coach at Ulster). Phibbs has been injured so will probably not be involved (thus Allinson's recent appearances), whilst Marland Yarde will start (likely in place of Ojo) having picked up all three player of the season awards.

A very good report, and well done on the cooking. Tigers should expect to win this comfortably given our away record this year, but so did Gloucester...

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Tiggs
29/04/2013 20:10

Edited for Ian.

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Stopsy
29/04/2013 21:06

Thanks Chris

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Purebob
30/04/2013 06:35

Goodness sir ! I shall be there on Saturday with your words ringing in my ears

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ChrisC
30/04/2013 08:42

Thanks Steve - I always do that with Ian and David. As my nephew says: Duh!!

Interesting about Yarde vs Ojo at 14. Over the last four matches Smith has alternated between them so on rotation it should be Ojo. Although against Worcester Yarde replaced Tagicetc., who dropped to the bench.

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Johns
30/04/2013 09:11

Thanks Chris outstanding as usual.

Is this the start of new weekly uttering during the summer from your good self with a menu of the week?

Hope so cannot wait.

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Rich W
30/04/2013 10:07

Thanks Chris - excellent as ever.

I could not agree More on histrionic scrum-halves. Matt Dawson has a lot to answer for! And you are quite right about the hubris of our performance in B**h - still I'm sure it pleased some to see the ball 'given some air'.

Well done on the cooking - it's always been a great pleasure of mine such that I do the vast majority of our's. I'm impressed at the baking too - though you are right about sourdough. It simply bemuses me.

By the way - Saints and Northapton?

...

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ChrisC
30/04/2013 10:11

Yes all a bit rushed on the proof reading I'm afraid. Back later than planned from foreign climes!

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Portcullis Irish
03/05/2013 09:17

Great reading Hope we go well though rumour is Halafuia & Tagi are both crocked Huff been best forward this season so we'll miss him!

By the way Many Congrats on 6 Lions.

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IanC
03/05/2013 09:20

Someone on the Irish site suggested they need a large contingent of EQPs to get the RFU shilling, so that might explain 'injuries' to some of the non-EQP players?

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seventyeight
03/05/2013 09:47

Thanks for your time and thoughts Chris - only 2more to do before a summer off.

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HowthExile
05/05/2013 22:43

London Irish....I come in peace.
Nice report and thank you to all the Tiger supporters seated around us for the fun and banter.
Wishing you all the best in the play-offs. You are a class act and IMHO deserve to take the spoils.

Laighean ag éirí leat an diabhal

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Tiggs
06/05/2013 16:37

Many thanks.

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