By ChrisC
November 19 2012
Practice Makes Perfect God loves a tryer, so the saying goes, and if so then when it comes to sport I must surely have a place reserved alongside the Seraphim and Cherubim. Over the years I’ve tried rugby of course, at which I was poor but good enough to get a match, soccer at which I was abject, cricket where I could, at a push, also get a match.
Individual sports had less appeal but I tried them anyway again without much success. A friend (who, annoyingly, was good at everything) convinced me that golf was the way forward, sociable, played in lovely surroundings, no sweating involved and good for my career as a thrusting young executive (I was young and thrusting once – oh yes I was!!).
So I gave it a go – oh how I tried but in the end I was just a danger to the wildlife, the plant life and other golfers. My tee shots found water as if divined, rabbit holes claimed my ball, squirrels took to wearing tin hats, birds left the trees and I dug holes the size of the Channel Tunnel as I thrashed about.
I did later host golf days for clients but my involvement was strictly limited to welcoming the guests, joining them for a drink in the refreshment tent at the ninth hole, making a speech at the evening dinner, presenting the prizes and waving the guests off the next morning after their hangovers had been assuaged by a “full English”.
It became a ritual for clients to try to persuade me to have a go at the tenth hole as my attempts were seen as hilarious (I never quite got the joke). At the last event I hosted my most important client insisted that I play the tenth hole with him, there was much winking and smiling as I took my place at the tee, I waved the club selected for me at the ball with great vigour and to my astonishment it connected and the ball flew, true as an arrow, down the fairway. The smiles faded a little from the faces of my fellow players as their own shots disappeared into the rough while my ball sat in gleaming white isolation on the greensward.
The others trooped off on safari and soon it was my turn again. I was given a different club and told not to hit the ball too hard, I, for my part, was just grateful to hit it, but when, somewhat shockingly, I did, it popped and bobbled its way onto the green. My companions’ smiles now evaporated as I awaited their arrival as they trudged after me.
I was handed a putter and, in the knowledge that even I couldn’t miss the ball, I tapped it in the general direction of the hole and to the amazement of all present, the ball, having followed a surprising arc, staggered over the edge of the hole for a birdie. It took my, now scowling, playing pals a little longer to join me and when they’d finished their shots my client said, without a hint of irony, that I should pursue the sport as, with a bit of coaching and practice, I could play like him. Of course I nodded but that was the last time I tried to hit a golf ball preferring to quit while I was ahead and knowing that, in my case, practice would not make perfect.
I watched Tigers’ next opposition, London Wasps, play Saracens a few weeks back and, for the first forty minutes, it was a really entertaining match. Saracens, denied their England contingent, put together some entertaining stuff and Wasps fully played their part in the afternoon’s merriment.
After half time it rather went back to normal as Saracens reverted to type aided and abetted by an oddly inconsistent performance from the usually excellent J P Doyle. I again felt a bit cheated having seen what was possible from Saracens’ talented players only to have it taken away again. I’ve never liked being teased!
It’s like watching Lancaster’s England. All that talent wasted by a sterile game plan and coaching.
Wasps played well, their scrum functioned, their line out was pretty much faultless, their backs ran some lovely lines and their loose forwards were tremendous. They were very unlucky to lose.
The same weekend we had the damp squib of a local derby at Welford Road and since then Tigers have fielded an inexperienced side against Saracens in the LV= Cup and got thumped but there were barely 3000 souls there to witness it. A first choice XV then got a famous victory over the Maoris and finally, in front of more than 17000 spectators, a somewhat stronger Tigers side squeezed a win in the second round of the LV= Cup against a pretty much full strength London Irish.
But now the Premiership starts again and Tigers have to travel to Adams Park, never the happiest of hunting grounds for the visitors and they will be obliged to field another weakened side against Wasps who are themselves denied the services of the excellent Joe Launchbury who’s being messed with by England, James Haskell who’s being messed about by England and Tom Palmer is also with the England squad. Masi is with Italy, Taulafa is with Samoa and Emerick with the USA.
The Wasps’ pack went well against Saracens with Tim Payne, for the most part, holding his own against Nieto and I expect that the stalwart loose-head will start on Sunday with either Rhys Thomas or Tom Lindsay in the #2 shirt. My guess would be Welsh international T Rhys Thomas who has plenty of experience having been capped twenty-nine times for his country while he was with Cardiff Blues, whom he first joined way back in the 2003/4 season thereafter making forty Heineken Cup appearances, scoring five tries in the process and is now reunited with Dai Young.
With Taulafo away my bet is on Italian international tight-head Fabio Staibano, signed for this season following the demise of Aironi, getting the berth to face the burgeoning talent of Fraser Balmain who’s been making a bit of an impression over the past few weeks. Staibano would certainly give the youngster a bit of a test while George Chuter looks likely to be pitting his experience against Rhys Thomas.
On the assumption that no further action will be taken against Boris Stankovitch, who was outrageously shown a Red Card by the inexperienced referee misguidedly put in charge of last Sunday’s LV= Cup fixture, I expect Stankovitch to be on the loose-head side again and that the front row contest will be an interesting one with much hinging on Balmain’s ability to keep up the standard shown of late.
Wasps have lost both Tom Palmer and Joe Launchbury to England but they still have their one man line out machine; Tigers’ old boy and favourite Marcos Wentzel to whom it seems most of his side’s line out ball finds its way. It’s possible that ex Northampton Saint James Cannon will join the superb South African who has truly “been there and done that”, although since he came on the scene with the Bulls back in the 2001/2 season, and until he joined Leicester in 2007, he made just two appearances in the Springbok shirt.
I expect to see the all action Graham Kitchener on duty for Tigers in combination with the reassuring presence of Louis Deacon who will be relishing the contest with his old colleague and bringing his welcome aggression to the ruck.
With James Haskell mysteriously unwanted on the good ship Hesperus, otherwise known as the England rugby union team, he may be in the Wasps’ match day squad. However if he replaces the oddly anonymous Tom Johnson in the England line up, which to my mind he should, so that Thomas Waldrom isn’t left to plough his lonely furrow when carrying the ball up and with Launchbury also missing, who does a shift at blind side, the most likely contenders for the #6 shirt could be the experienced South African Tinus du Plessis who’s been capped thirty-one time for Namibia, joining Wasps last season from the exotically named; Namibia Welwitchias or Springbok Ashley Johnson. Another candidate for the shirt is ex Tiger; Matt Everard.
I reckon though it’ll be one of the South Africans, most probably Johnson, who joined from the Cheetahs at the start of the season and has been three times a Springbok. He was impressive against Saracens, giving them all sorts of problems alongside Australian born, and like his brother, England qualified, Billy Vunipola, who really is a quite splendid player, fantastic in the loose and aggressive at the breakdown.
Ed Slater should reprise his appearance on the blind side against the Maoris for the Tigers as he’d bring even more aggression to the ruck, is good in open play and could tip the balance at the line out in a Steve Mafi/Tom Croft type of role.
On the open-side two of the Premiership’s most accomplished purveyors of this noble (?) art could be on show with Tigers’ Julian Salvi and Kiwi Jonathan Poff. The contest between these two could be worth the ticket price on its own.
Jordan Crane will surely be at #8. I hope that it won’t be too much longer until the real Crane reappears. He’s doing OK but he’s not yet as he was before his long lay-off.
The breakdown is going to be feisty and competitive, especially if Tigers deploy Slater to aid their cause so Tigers will have to be on their mettle for if they fail to judge it to perfection and particularly don’t rid themselves of a predisposition to under resource the blind side then with the Wasps’ flying backs they could be in big trouble.
Joe Simpson was crocked for the match at Vicarage Road so Charlie Davies got a start and he did a good job, even scoring a well taken try. If Simpson has recovered he’ll be back as his pace is invaluable and for Tigers, with Micky Young giving a good account of himself against London Irish in the LV= Cup, I hope he gets another start as his experience and knowledge of Simpson will surely pay dividends. Cockerill may be tempted to go back to Sam Harrison which I think would be a mistake.
New signing from the Scarlets, the experienced Stephen Jones, was missing with a sore back when his team faced Sarries, so Nick Robinson had his turn with the #10 shirt. Robinson and Jones are very experienced but Robinson blows hot and cold and Jones can be uber conservative so if, as must be the case, George Ford starts for Tigers he could test himself against an experienced and canny opponent to see if he can get in behind him.
Although a big fan of Tony Allen I would, given Allen’s training being disrupted by England fiddling about, favour Dan Bowden continuing in the inside centre slot and if Cockerill could be prevailed upon to stick with a Young/Ford/Bowden and Matt Smith centre field combination I think it would be to Tigers’ advantage. Indeed if they make a good job of the next two Premiership matches then stick with them against Treviso. I am a great believer in players keeping the shirt if they’ve earned it and these three deserve the chance to do so. Equally returning international players cannot expect to waltz back into the starting line up if the encumbents have paid their dues in terms of performance on the field.
Chris Bell has always been a good player. I liked him when he was at Quins and then when he was a standout player amongst the Leeds teams he played in for a couple of difficult seasons up at Headingley. He then had a not entirely happy time for Sale and for one reason or another he’s had a limited amount of game time since joining Wasps, who’ve been experiencing their own problems since he joined at the beginning of last season. He’s an abrasive, hard working player and when the Italian international is not on duty with his country, has the opportunity now to play alongside the outstanding Andrea Masi.
In the meantime the howitzer booted, fleet footed Elliot Daly continues to build on his reputation and if, as I hope, Matt Smith is fit he’ll have to use his own prodigious pace against the Wasps’ youngster who looks the real deal to me, he seems to be able to kick goals from anywhere.
I hope Smith is fully recovered from the injury that forced him from the field against the Maori and presumably saw him replaced by Symons against London Irish, if he’s not fit it would be a shame but in that circumstance, if he’s available, I’d move Tony Allen to outside centre and partner him with Bowden as I think they’d provide an interesting blend of interchangeable skills.
Speed is the watchword of the Wasps outside backs. Daly is a flyer and he has Tom Varndell and the precocious talent of Christian Wade on the wings. How on Earth Wade isn’t involved with the EPS squad baffles me. He, like Varndell, frightens the life out of even the best defences while he defends well, true his alignment can still be a bit ropey but he’s good under the high ball and can run in tries from anywhere. Maybe not the finished article but he’s more of a threat than the moribund Ashton.
On the other wing Tom Varndell is again scoring tries for fun with seven from seven Premiership starts already while his young pal Wade has scored five from eight starts.
Varndell is a much more complete and hard working player than he was when he sadly made his premature departure from Leicester. He still does what we, in the Members’ Stand at Welford Road, used to call the “Varndell Waltz” where he seems to be auditioning for Strictly Come Dancing as he tackles by cuddling his opponent, thus permitting the opposition’s supporting cavalry to arrive but he goes looking for work, joins in the rucks and has formed a tight and productive partnership with Wade.
If Tigers’ kick the ball to these two, rather than into the corners behind them, they’ll score tries – they just will!
With this kind of extravagant pace out wide for Wasps Tigers will have to do their best to fight fire with fire, so I’d like to see the strong tackling and very quick Niall Morris on one side with the big and fast try scoring Adam Thompstone on the other, the trio completed by another flyer, Matt Tait at full back. Geordan Murphy, if fit, could be on the bench for emergencies if it all goes wrong, while I’d favour Louis Deacon for the skipper’s armband in Murphy’s absence.
This would give Tigers their own high octane back three. Wasps’ trio will be completed by the elegant Hugo Southwell. The Scot is one of those players who appears to have an immense amount of time on and with the ball, almost as if time has been suspended.
I think it’s going to be a good match and one that Tigers, with a brave selection, could just win.
And after all if the players don’t get to practice their skills in a match day environment they’ll never be perfect.
Quote:My guess would be Welsh international T Rhys Thomas who has plenty of experience having been capped twenty-nine times for his country while he was with Cardiff Blues, whom he first joined way back in the 2003/4 season thereafter making forty Heineken Cup appearances, scoring five tries in the process and is now reunited with Dai Young.
