Courtesy of Tiggs

By TigerGeezer
December 22 2008

Mery xmas and god bless us every one as that weed tiny tim would sa. It is i, geezer junior, the gorila of the crumbie, reporting on tigers v. Newcastle, and as a lite festive drizzle fall on the terrace and sloly dampen the teamsheet we see dere santa have left an early present, becos the mitey CASTRO is back and on the bench.

In fact when he come on for the warmup it mite as well be santa with that beard, if there is a santa who bring presents to all the good cavemen.. santa do not have calf mussles like that observe pater sagely before swiging from his hipflask which he do not offer to the children chiz.  Still, it put him in a good mood which is not dispelled even by a scrappy start and tigers giving away a penalty, becos the kick is dragged well wide and tigers hav them under the cosh, but curses! Every time a try looks on, the attack brakes down. 

Murphy (j) is ruffly pushed into touch when a try looks on, then the FAT BOYS drive it on (hooray!) but knock on, but then the heroic FAT BOYS mince their weedy opposite nos. in the scrum and doopwee is over – no he isn’t.  Pater is now losing his mood and has Terrace Syndrome, shouting unprintable things about the ref hem hem, until the ref gives a penalty to tigers  and flood puts it over.  Now make them sufer sa pater and from the restart tigers nearly do that as the mitey MAD DOG drive forward and newby crosses but the ref sa he spilled it chiz.  Pater now foaming at the mouth it is always this way when he stand on the terrace.  He reserve particular ire for the newcastle hooker who takes the slowest throw-ins in the world in the universe in space, every time he stop and put a hand to his cauli ear and sa “wot is the call” or similar and then wait with ball above cropped head for an age until someone sa come on ref then he chucks it in. 

Luckily before pater lose the plot compleetly, tigers bring off a move with gurlies and FAT BOYS working in unison across the field to give murphy (j) space to cross on the left.  flood hav his kicking boots on toda and that is 10-0.  to be frank that is also the match as good as over becos Newcastle hav plenty of fite and soak up pressure but have 0 to give in atack. 

Tigers press from the start in the second and put together their best moves so far with Hamilton working well, but in the end it is bak to toby and his kicking boots for the measly recompense of a 3-pointer.  Pater is now relaxed becos the match is won and flask still half full, but were is the bonus point coming from we ask.  some more routine domination with no result turns into the tigers xmas present to their visitors as a penalty is given away and this one goes over to cheers from the wet bit of the clubhouse stand.  so that is were tigers put the away fans hem hem.  Never mind becos mr Heineken hav seen enuf and it is time for the mitey CASTRO cheers cheers cheers 20 to go and time to get tuff.  Sure enuf BIG BEN pinches lineout ball from the world’s slowest hooker’s throw, mauger makes a terrific brake and this time instead of the ball being fumbled the move finishes when mauger pull a show and go from santa’s sack and hav the power to take the gap and make the line.  flood still hav his kicking boots for the con and it is 20-3 and little more to tell.  Tom the v looks ready and willing but keep getting the ball and not taking the outside (why?), flood make a wonderful brake which deserve a try but the offload go loose, and when murphy (j) spill the ball in the last min looking for try no. 3 newcastle counter and try their best to take a beter xmas gift than the one penalty, but are denied by tigers scrooges. 

So a win for xmas is ok, and beter than a pare of socks any day, and julian white is a marvel of the scrummaging world, but if we do not put away our chances against the evil hary queens we may have a sorry end to the year.  Fare play to Newcastle for having lots of dog and I want them to stay up so we can hav their fans back esp the ones in kilts (although pater say as a sweaty that the grey check one look like a parisian pencil skirt beter worn by catherine deneuve hem hem). 

Tigers:  Geordan Murphy, Scott HamiltonMatt Smith, Aaron Mauger, Johne Murphy, Toby Flood, Julien Dupuy, Boris Stankovich, George Chuter, Julian White, Marco Wentzel, Ben Kay (c), Craig Newby, Lewis Moody, Brett Deacon.  Reps:  Mefin Davies, Martin Castrogiovanni, Martin Corry, Ben Herring, Tom Youngs, Tom Varndell, Seru Rabeni.  Scorers: Tries: G. Murphy, A Mauger; Cons. T Flood (2), Pens. T Flood (2).

Newcastle:  Tom May, Tim Visser, Spencer Davey, Tane Tu’ipolutu, John Rudd, Rob Miller, Hall Charlton, Jon Golding, Matt Thompson, David Wilson, Tim Swinson, Mark Sorenson, Ed Williamson, Brent Wilson, Phil Dowson (c).  Reps:  Rob Vickers, Micky Ward, Andy Perry, Geoff Parling, Tom Dillon, James Grindal, Steve Jones.  Scorers:  Pen: S. Jones.