Friday dawned bright and clear as I met up with Ray and Bobba at Leeds station to make the journey southwest in Bobba’s trusty Clio. We waited for Nicole but she failed to show so off we sailed down the motorway and after six uneventful hours we pitched up in Penzance. Booking in to our various accommodation, it was time for the first ritual of the trip so we convened to the Admiral Benbow to relax after the long drive and meet up with our old mate Dotcom, who true to form regaled with his love and admiration for all things English whilst relieving us of vast quantities of rum lime and soda. (50% of that last statement may be inaccurate...). During the following few hours, members of the party left the above establishment displaying varying degrees of imbalance......

Saturday morning saw two thirds of our party take a bracing walk along the coast to Marazion, whilst the other third didn’t see Saturday morning. A pre-arranged meet was made at the Humpty Dumpty where we met up with Tim, Tarquin, SFS, Carnegiette and their partners. En-route to said establishment I encounteredFarmerTyke and Mrs Farmertyke accosting locals so I helpfully translated and pointed them towards the ground. The remainder of us partook of a pre-match livener or two, then headed down towards the ground.

I can’t think of Mennaye places (sorry) better situated than the Pirates ground, nestling just a few yards from the beautiful Mounts Bay, and it has been a long ambition of mine to see Leeds play there (as opposed to turning up and shipping 50 odd points). Today I was not to be disappointed.

On entering the stadium I took stock of the surroundings, then plan of action.....bog, beer, and somewhere to stand. We took up position behind the Leeds dugout, were joined by Farmer and Mrs Farmer, and awaited events. Soon we attracted a crowd of admiring and not so admiring locals, but with the aid of magic potions dispensed from a tent to our rear we commenced the missionary work, some of our party displaying more zeal than others......!! As well as our fantastic eleven or so a small number of converts joined our cause....The Rhino’s supporter living in Newquay, the young lady from Sheffield, the gentleman who had had a lovely holiday in Scarborough, the couple with a mortgage from the Halifax, the list went on.....

Most of you will have read the official match reports by now, which is good as you won’t get one from me! Suffice to say Leeds took an early lead through a Joe Ford penalty, then conceded a try through poor defence (about the only time the defence failed to tackle all afternoon). Inexplicably the initial try to Pirates was called back by the referee who awarded a scrum to...Pirates! From which they scored again! The home side were calling the shots and playing the rugby for the first twenty minutes or so, but the dogged Leeds defence held firm aided by poor execution and decision making from the hosts. The ‘Negies lifted their heads and started to make their mark on the game, no doubt lifted by the war cries from their small but determined band of followers, and after a wonderful passage of play with what seemed like twenty phases the ball was swept out wide to the waiting McColl and our Stevie made no mistake in galloping to the line to score the try. Sadly Joe could not make the conversion, but a halftime lead of 8-7 added a swagger to our steps as we set off in search of solid and liquid sustenance, and a little more raucous banter with the locals.

LEEDS-LEEDS-LEEDS

The second half got underway and right from the start the hosts appeared to have added a sense of urgency to their game. They were starting to regain ascendancy in the set piece, but fortunately for Leeds the Cornish forwards were let down by poor decisions from their half backs and ferocious tackling from the Leeds defence. And much to the joy of the travelling support Leeds increased their lead with another well-struck penalty from Joe Ford enraging the home support and team alike. Pirates upped the pressure again and the Leeds defence dug in, but gradually foul tactics took the place of fair play as the hosts camped in the Leeds 22 and turned the screw. As the visitors conceded a string of penalties in an attempt to staunch the home attacks the referee warned them as to their conduct, but, to no avail. Another day, another yellow card for Big Red as the official’s patience finally snapped and a penalty try was given. 14-11 to the home side. With Leeds a man down was this to be the opening of the floodgates?

YORKSHIRE-YORKSHIRE-YORKSHIRE

Incredibly, Leeds regrouped and roared on by their small but vociferous band of supporters took the game back to the Pirates. Defending every Cornish attack like devils, they rallied and fought and won another which Joe Ford duly converted to bring the scores level. We held our breaths – was there really a chance that we could take something from the game after all? From then on in it was a case of nip and tuck, errors crept into the Pirates game as the frustration of being unable to break down the ‘negies began to tell. We shouted our heads off, pausing only to gulp from refilled pints. Heads lifted as we welcomed the return of Danny Paul to the fray sporting more bandages than Tutankhamun. Scrum and counter scrum. Pinged for feeding!!?? Come on boys, you can do it!! My throat felt as though I had been gargling razor blades as I implored the ref to put us out of our torment. But there was one more page of drama to come....in the last play of the game Pirates were awarded a penalty on the halfway line. I wanted to look away but was drawn to watch the plot being played out. I could not even drink my beer. The Cornish back crouched, paused, took his run up and connected with the ball. It sailed through the air.....dropping mercifully short of the posts and was unceremoniously hoyed into touch. Sir blew for time and the game was over!

MARCHING ON TOGETHER!!

The relief and sense of achievement was felt by the team both on and off the pitch. We sang and shouted and cheered as though we had gained promotion and I don’t think that it’s unfair to say that the small band of ‘Negie followers played their part and were treated applause from the team as well as appreciative comments from many of the home supporters. Indeed one Pirate could not believe that so few of us had actually outshouted the home crowd. “Where’s the rest of you?”. After mutual backslapping, some more laughing gravy and the chance to listen to and join in with the wonderful Cadgwith singers in the beer tent it was time for a little reflection. I think it’s fair to say that we rode our luck in Penzance, but the passion that the boys showed, and their never-say-die approach gave them a deserved share of the spoils. They must tighten up discipline as better teams than Pirates will put them to the sword if they do not. But on the good side it was great to see Joe Ford displaying the form that we know that he is capable of, linking up effectively with Will Cliff; and to see the experience of Scotty Barrow shining through. Again in the forwards it was difficult to pick out individual performances, but the signing of Ed Williamson will prove a shrewd move. Jacob Rowan supplied another mature performance and Buzz was excellent at breaking from the base of the scrum. The return of Danny Paul was tempered by the sight of Stepho limping off and leaving the ground on crutches. It is to be hoped that his injury isn’t as serious as it looks. And isn’t it great to see our own points machine Stevie McColl scoring again?

In all, a wonderful day out. Tired and emotional, the small band of ‘Negies left the Mennaye to pursue another evening ofmercifully-forgotten pleasure amongst the fleshpots of Penzance as an empty wallet, a handful of loose change, and the ‘brown triangle’ will silently testify.