By claire_m
February 16 2016

I feel like I should be entering a confessional: ‘It’s been 4 years since my last match report.’ In truth I have no idea when I last did this and if you’re looking for insightful, in-depth analysis, best look away now!

For those of you who don’t know me, just over a year ago I moved out of leafy South-West London and settled in the shire of Gloucester. In fact, I now live and work in the city centre. As soon as the fixtures were released, I knew this was the match report for me, especially as I rarely get to watch any rugby on tv, or in person these days.

Again, for those of you who don’t know me, I always struggle to make the kick-off for every Quins game I go to. Sadly today was no exception! Had I not had to deliver a fruit cake and collect my ticket from the box office (which was closing at 2.59!!), I’d have been in my seat with, ooh, seconds to spare. As it was, as I was just going through the turnstyle as the game kicked off. I was able to see James Hook both score and convert his try however, and within 2 minutes, we were 7-0 down.

I must admit I wasn’t expecting a Quins win, and I immediately thought ‘this is going to be a long afternoon.’ I found my seat, took out my trusty notebook and began my scribbling. Whilst living in London I never perfected shorthand – a real shame as my notes are mostly sodden and illegible!

After 7 minutes, Gloucester were penalised (I was writing on Facebook at this point, so I missed what the offence was. I fear my calling as a journalist has somewhat passed me by!), but Nick Evans duly slotted over the 3 points and the score was 7-3. (Incidentally, I’m a huge Evans fan; I always have been. I know there won’t be many opportunities for me to see him live in the quarters – or bar-code as it was today – and I fully intend to appreciate every single moment he’s on the pitch.)

Having tried to get themselves back in the game, Barnes penalised Quins for pulling down a maul and Hook kicked the points offered; Gloucester were 10-3 up. I think this is the first game I’ve been to that I wanted Hook to miss! It was very strange. I’m half-Welsh, so always support him in the red of Wales and now I reside in Gloucester, I do cheer the boys on (except when they play Quins, of course!). I had some pre-match banter with the locals and my admission of a 25 year love affair with Quins (I know, I don’t look that old; I was REALLY young when I started supporting them!) compared with the 2 years of being a local helped swing support in my favour. Just!

A Gloucester player (they may be my local club now, but I’ve not yet familiarised myself with the squad) broke through the Quins gain line. I shouted ‘tackle him’ and Ross Chisholm obliged. Sadly it was after he’d passed the ball and there weren’t any complaints about the yellow card Wayne Barnes produced. Or the ensuing Hook penalty. After 18 minutes, Quins were 13-3 down.

Tim Visser looking strong on the wing (it’s the first time I’d seen him in Quins colours. I have no doubt he’ll be back playing for Scotland before long) and it looked as if he was going to score, but a pesky Gloucester player (see the above paragraph about my familiarity with the squad!) brought him down. Gloucester did concede a penalty however, and Evans duly converted. After 20 minutes we were 13-6 down. Little did we know that those would be our last points of the game.

Chisholm came back on and I was delighted that the score was 3-3 in his absence. I even congratulated Quins on not conceding more! Gloucester fluffed a try-scoring opportunity with a forward pass, but on 28 minutes, created another chance, which this time did not go begging. Hook converted again and Quins were 20-6 down.

It was at this point I realised just why we were doing so badly; there were no Toms on the teamsheet. I remember those halcyon days of Toms Guest, Williams, Casson… We need to sign a Tom next season.

Just before half time, Quins conceded another penalty. Hook duly converted and Gloucester went into the changing rooms 23-6 up. Even the most optimistic Quins fan couldn’t hope for a Lazarus-like comeback.

The second half saw Ben Botica on for Evans and how I laughed at Adam Jones, who took his place on the bench with hot drink in hand. In truth, I was more jealous than amused; it was freezing! I’m not used to being outside at the moment and my thermals and 3 fleeces were not enough!

On 43 minutes, we saw a rare sight – Hook missed a penalty. Perhaps that would galvanise the away team? Or not, as Gloucester nearly scored again. At this point, I realised where the blame lay for our dismal performance; it wasn’t Gloucester playing well, or Conor leaving, or even our missing our England players. It was down to me; I wasn’t wearing my Quins socks! I’m so sorry everyone.

At 50 minutes, Quins emptied their bench in the hope of changing fortunes. It didn’t work as Gloucester were awarded another penalty, which Hook again missed.

For some reason, I turned my attention to the footwear of our players at this point. Probably because the rugby was dire. There are an awful lot of the team who play in yellow boots. That would never have happened in my day. I know the weather has been appalling recently (it seems to have rained non-stop since October; will it never end???), but coming disguised as ducks (if that was indeed the gameplan) didn’t really work.

I’m not sure what happened, but with 70 minutes on the clock, Quins woke up and started to play rugby. Perhaps if they had done this 70 minutes earlier, the result may have been different, but better late than never.

The white line seemed to elude us – phase after phase of pressure (I started reminiscing about THAT Stade Francaise game) and then whoosh! A try! Except it was for Gloucester. Hook missed the conversion and the score remained at 28-6 until the final whistle.

So, the positives from today’s game:

1)      I got to see Quins play live

2)      Tim Visser looks great in Quins colours (even if they were white and scream ‘bar-code’)

3)      I only live a 5 minute walk from Kingsholm and didn’t have to drive back to London

I managed to grab a few words with Billy Twelvetrees after the game; he seems like a nice chap! He told me that after a great start, they gave away a few costly penalties. He was aware they were playing a top 4 team and despite the pressure they put us under, were disappointed not to have scored more points. Ultimately, they were happy to get 4 points and it was a good win for them.

I then tracked down Conor to a very warm bar, where I happily started to thaw out! He was incredibly disappointed that we were out-energised and out-enthused. I asked why that would be and he replied that the kick-off (which as you all know, I missed. I didn’t admit that however!) set the tone for the match. He wanted us to quieten the home crowd and we didn’t manage that. He felt that we stood up in the second half and he singled out Ben Botica for coming back strongly from last week (which I also missed!). He added that it was a tightly packed premiership this year and that next week’s game against Leicester at home was now really important. He also added that Evans’ injury looked bad and that today was just one of those days.

I then asked about how he felt the season was going – I admitted that this was only the 3^rd game of the season I’d seen and whilst I knew the results, I had no idea how we were playing. Conor said that the season was going well; we’d had a difficult 3 weeks but we still have a home European quarter final to look forward to when our England players would be back, as would Nick Easter and hopefully the injury to Evans might not be as bad as feared, and that generally we were doing alright.

Overall, I left Kingsholm cold and deflated, despite Conor’s words. I hadn’t expected a win, but I thought it would have been closer. I know we’re missing players due to injuries and internationals and we generally don’t like playing in conditions like this, but I thought we’d put in a better performance. We conceded too many penalties and didn’t really look like scoring. Having waited 7 months to see Quins live and on my doorstep, I was, in all honesty, underwhelmed. And I know I mentioned them earlier, but yellow boots? Really? Hopefully the boys will have a good week at training and come back all guns blazing against Leicester, otherwise it will be a long 6 Nations period.

Finally, I just wanted to say how lovely the staff are at Kingsholm. If I had to swop the Stoop (and how I miss it) for any ground, I’m glad it’s here. See you all at Kingsholm next season and hopefully there will be a very different result!