Harlequins
Quins v Wasps – Match report
By Greg
September 22 2014
The last match report that I did came at a crisis point for the Club (we have so many, darling): we were having our post Munster melt-down; and here I am, another report and another melt-down. This time we are having the “mid season crisis” before my Oxfam Christmas catalogue has come through the letterbox.
So what was it to be: Conor O’why-is-he-still-in-a-job facing an imminent sacking from David “Ruth “Ellis; or was it just an early season stumble not helped by injuries and a conservative approach to recruitment. Could we stand down the firing squads for the early leavers; or would I have to make that call to the Quins Taliban (Hampton Wick Branch) to lay mines at the exits?
In the end the game looked like a resumption of normal service for Quins: some poor rugby mixed up with some cracking, ambitious stuff and a “squeaky bum” five minutes at the end. It wouldn’t be Quins otherwise. We were definitely entertained as Quins edged Wasps 26-23 in an “archetypal” game of two halves. Wasps shaded the first and Quins clawed it back and more in the second seeing off a good comeback from Wasps. In the end Quins’ hunger and home advantage edged out a talented Wasps side.
Matches against Wasps used to follow a pattern: we turned up, Lawrence Dallaglio reffed the game and we lost. Since Lol’s retirement the games have been harder to pick and we’ve seen the mother of all come-backs (or chokes, depending on your shirt colour) at HQ; and last year Quins inexplicably gave Wade, Varndell and Daly counter attacking practice and Wasps won comfortably. This one looked like a well known referendum: to close to call.
Wasps kicked off to the south stand and from the first line out Robshaw, Robson and Myall of Wasps had a set to. It carried on in that vein – someone said something to the forwards during the week, surely – as Matthews and Launchbury had a non-vocal discussion over the long term tenure of the England second row shirt. Matthews was generally at the scene of the crime all afternoon when the hand bags were out – a bit like Mr Potato Head in Toy Story, someone had packed his “angry eyes”. The play was evenly matched for the first 15 minutes or so – Goode, the mono-browed howitzer (and owner of the last set of stick mits in the professional game), put in some monster touch finders; Matt Mullan danced a bit, making good ground; and Luke Wallace nearly breached the Wasps try line.
Wasps were, though, good value for their lead as Varndell – still more gas than Qatar – on 16 minutes slashed through the midfield. Quick recycling saw “Elegant” Daly round our cover, loop an inside pass to Wasps “7” Guy Thomson running a good support line and he was in. JP Doyle rightly ignored the west stand’s howls for a foot in touch, a forward pass, and for not wearing a Quins shirt while in TW10. Goode added the extras surprisingly easily, as during the warm up he’d been in “cow’s arse” and “banjo” territory.
Oh dear, this could quite easily go “Pete Tong”…..but the response from Quins was a positive spell of possession and quick recycling. That pressure told and on 19 minutes Wasps didn’t roll away and Bot the Slot did his stuff from straight in front. Quins immediately ran the kick off back with Browne and Tikorituma showing good work. More pressure in the Wasps half produced a penalty chance in the same spot as the earlier one. BB impersonated the French fly half, Jean-Claude Dejavu, by hitting it sweetly for 7-6 to Wasps.
Andy Goode replied in kind for Wasps to extend them to 10-6 (but not before he’d kicked a pass to Wade and made serious error of judgement about Wade’s height) – he’s more Gus Logie than Michael Jordan isn’t he? He added another on 37 minutes (Quins not releasing the tackler) but in between hit the woodwork and Wallace (playing, at last, more like Apollo from Dirty Harry than the Cowardly Lion from Wizard of Oz) tidied up the rebound well. Quins stuck at it though, forcing a scrum penalty on half time and BB King made it sing at 13-9, which was probably a fair reflection of execution and skills on show.
Whatever was said at half time, and I’m assuming they don’t spend the 15 minutes in silence wondering who’s blagged the biggest bits of orange, did the trick. Quins started and carried on the half with a fair bit of snap, crackle and pop to their play – good hands, good recycling and good pressure. Despite Wasps’ committed defence, and with a penalty advantage in hand, Danny Care chipped one through in the red zone. Wade should have grounded it but seemed to roll over the top of the ball and the ex-England captain Robshaw (and why have the press written him out of a job this early in the season?) was there to touch down. JP understandably went to the TMO who gave us the nod while BB gave us the extras. Eight minutes in to the second half`: 16-13 to Quins and game on.
A bizarre Danny care volley – in broken play on the half way line – turned Wasps and put them under more sustained pressure with a quick line out adding to the tempo. It led to a curious sequence of high speed events: did Wasps go offside at a ruck in their own 22 and wait for the referee to blow? Botica played the whistle and what was in front of him and chased his own kick through. Myall collided with him bringing him down; Brown followed up and seemed to ground it under pressure against the padding on the post. This all happened in a split second and JP had no choice but to go to the man in the van. It was take your pick time: try, or no try? red card or yellow card; penalty or no penalty; deal or no deal? As the permutations rolled like the wheels on a fruit machine it came up three bells for Quins. A yellow card for Myall, a penalty try and two more points. Daylight at last with the score of 23-16, the oppo a man down but….and there’s always a but…. with half an hour still to play.
Quins initially took advantage of the spare man, Harry Sloane making a bulldozing run through midfield. Robshaw took it on and kicked – he must have borrowed Nev’s boots as it wasn’t the first time he tried the chip and chase. An untidy ruck ensued out of which Danny Care – again holding a penalty advantage – did his cheeky chappie drop goal routine and knocked one over from a tight angle and with his left foot. If Charlie Chaplin did drop goals……
So what could go wrong at 26-13 up? Quins’ propensity to blow it big time against oppo a man down, that’s what went wrong. The arrival of the chunky Ashley Johnson gave a bit of oomph to Wasps and on 59 minutes Quins stuffed up what should have been clean ball in midfield. Wasps kicked through and with Quins in attack formation no one was at home. Wasps stripped the covering Ben Botica, recycled quicker than Danny Care could attone for his stuff up, Joe Simpson shredded what was left of the cover and put Varndell over in a wide but not too wide a position. And yet the banjo missed the cow’s arse and we breathed in – 26- 18 it was. Still 20 minutes to go but losing the “man down” scoring 5-3. Play became increasingly frantic as both sides knew the game was in the balance. The sevens was interrupted by Charlie Matthews and Daly having a wrestle, after a spot of verbals, but Charlie was a definite winner on points. On 70 minutes Botica had a chance to settle our nerves with a long shot – it went way left and ended up somewhere near the back entrance to the college car park. Clench those buttocks!
Wasps substitutions began to make inroads, particularly Millar, against a tiring Quins’ defence. On 76 minutes, following more pressure close to Quins’ line, Charlie Matthews went for an interception, spilled it and JP reached for yellow. I had a good view of it and thought it harsh – in real time – he’d used both hands, nearly caught it and, come on sir, he’s a second rower. His catch rate is 50/50 at the best of times. JP had no hestitation and Wasps had no hestitation in rumbling the resulting line out over with complete ease. Another shot for Goode from the same position as earlier and, I’ve just lost my shirt at the bookies, as he’s gone and bleedin’ missed it again guv. The less than sympathetic cheers from some Quins fans were a touch harsh, but 26-23 it was.
With two minutes to go we just had to keep calm and not make a mistake. What did we do - BB shovelled out a lousy pass to Brownie and it all led to penalty, about on halfway, against us for not releasing. Arghhh……….all Goode had to do was put it in the corner and we’d watch Wasps rumble it over again. And what did Goode do? Inexplicably – and this really is one for the X Files or Arthur C Clarke’s Great Mysteries – he hit the worst penalty out of hand that I’d ever seen at the Stoop (and there is quite some competition for that award). The Wasps forwards, presumably still in shock from seeing a negative gain of ground, overthrew the line out, the ex-England skipper tidied up (like he’d done all afternoon) and Danny did his catch me if you can scamper into the East Stand. The clock said zero, we cheered, the sun parted the clouds, the bar queues shortened, the Whitton Quins Stasi were able to put the safety catches to “on” as there were no early leavers to shoot, the food stalls suddenly offered free food, Conor announced we’d signed Bakkies Botha and Conrad Smith on free transfers Led Zep agreed to reform and do half time entertainment……I’m making some of this up as my notes get a bit difficult to read at this point.
It was, though, a good win and should remind the squad (and us) that they really can play when they cut out the errors. The 15 minute spell immediately after half time was vintage Quins and Wasps had the game taken from them in that period. Two out of three ain’t bad and looking at the other results this weekend there will be plenty of points traded over the season between all sides, other than perhaps Sarries. It’s still all to play for and we can put the crisis on hold for another week. Move along, nothing to see here!
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Stumbleupon22/09/2014 01:38
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Personally I also thought Daly didn't hit the line but still think it should have been reviewed as the touch judge was way behind....as he was all afternoon.
I particularly liked the bit about the French fly half. I'm sure I've seen him before.
Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 2014:09:22:10:26:10 by ChiddQuin.
Quote:JJQuin
Excellent report - please sign up for a few more this season!
Seconded
Quote:Closer & Closer
One minor item Myall tripped Ben Botica rather than "collided" with Ben.
Personally I also thought Daly didn't hit the line but still think it should have been reviewed as the touch judge was way behind....as he was all afternoon.
On TV the TJ was behind the play, but in a good position to see a foot out and he was watching Daly like a hawk!
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