By Lou
December 17 2002

I shall leave the reporting of social matters to Little Sharon who I am sure was compiling her report on the journey back from Paris – suffice to say that us supporters had a great time and that Scotty looked stressed – missing coaches, missing passports, wrong visas etc. etc.

It was a cold, damp evening in Paris and the first thing that confused us was that having seen the team run out to warm up at our end of the stand to loud applause and general encouraging shouts such as "Matt Moore don't forget your passport" - when the teams came out for the kick off they both entered the battle area some 110 meters away in the far corner of the same stand. Most odd!

We started confidently and after 4 minutes should have been in front from a Paul "we love you" Burke penalty - except that he missed. However, in the first 8 minutes the Scottish referee - Ian Ramage - had a penalty count of 5 - 0 in Harlequins favour as he continued to punish the French for all sorts of offsides and tackle offences. Eventually we took the lead in the 8th minute when an unknown French player ventured offside again - 3 - 0 and only 24 more points needed!

However, the strange shape of the ball was soon to bounce against us. After defending very well from the re-start French International scrum half Galthie put in a hopeful kick behind a dead ruck which Matt (Don't forget your passport) Moore appeared to have covered easily. But the NEC Harlequins Gods were not favouring Matt this weekend, and as he ran back to take the ball, it bounced back high over his head into the arms of the winger Lombard who fell over the try line to score. Diego Dominguez did a very good impersonation of Burkey and kicked the conversation. 7 - 3 down after 10 minutes but a bright start.

From the re-start we continued to pressure the impressive Stade defence. Backs and forwards alike carrying the ball in to the heart of the French team. As we moved the ball wide a skirmish broke out with Ace (Yellow card) Tiatia in the middle of it. After a little debate Ace was taking a well earned rest for stamping at the ruck. The management looked pleased that the colour of the card was yellow and not red.

While Ace was ‘resting', Burke and Dominguez exchanged penalties and the score was 10-6.

Both teams' line outs appeared to be under considerable pressure, losing as many of their own throws as they were winning. Although for some reason the referee appeared to penalise Quins everytime the ball was thrown to Tony Diprose. Judging by the management running back and forward to the fourth official they were as confused by this as your reporter.

Ace returned to the pitch in the 26th minute and was immediately penalised for a high tackle on Diego Dominguez. Must have been a good hit though as he then missed the kick from in front of the posts. However, two further penalty kicks left the score 16-6 at half time.

But it could have been so different. After 26 minutes Nathan Williams burst through the Stade Defence approximately 25 meters from the line. A bit like last weekend (Will Greenwood), the centres disappeared and he was left to throw a thirty meter pass to our new signing - Harvey the invisible winger! As happens everytime he plays - Harvey let the ball go into touch. 7 points gone.

And the Tale of the bouncing ball. A kick through by Scott Bemand saw Matt (Don't forget your passport) Moore running down the wing in pursuit of the ball and a certain try, when the ball changed direction, took a sharp turn to the right and went into touch. Not a Stade Francais player in sight!

Half Time 16 - 6. As Harley's Angels did not travel over for the second leg, half-time entertainment was provided by our one and only Professor. The sight of him trying to juggle 10+ beers on a rapidly disintegrating cardboard box and trying not to spill a drop was very entertaining. Well, the reporter thought so!

The second half started brightly - two more Burkey penalties bringing the score line back to a very competitive 16-12 - now only 31 points needed and we were through to the next round. Enter the return of Ace Tiatia.

After 14 minutes of the second half Ace hit a ruck - late, from the side, and right in front of the referee. In a flash Scotty was seen down at pitch side talking to the fourth official. Before the referee could say "No. 6 come here" the replacement board was flashing and Luke Sherriff entered the fray with Ace coming off to a cascade of boos from the French crowd. Apparently they do not like rough play in France! Dominguez kicked the penalty 19-12. Shortly afterwards it was 22-12 following another odd decision.

And the game too and throwed for the next 10 minutes with neither team creating any real scoring opportunities with the referee becoming more and more confusing. Three scrums went up and down and three penalties were given one to Stade, one to Quins and then to Stade again. He clearly did not understand. As the game went on Stade became more and more dominant in terms of territory - all of their backs could kick the ball a country mile and did on several occasions.

After 25 minutes Karl Rudzki came on for Bill Davison and immediately got stuck in.

The last ten minutes were painful. Your reporter believes our gallant lads concluded that to score 37 points in 8 minutes against the best defence they had seen all season might just be beyond them. Running the ball from everywhere Quins turned the ball over (yet again) and after numerous phases of play French international Moni went over in the corner. Dominguez kicked the conversation and the score line was 29-12.

At the final whistle the teams disappeared out of sight at the far end of the stand, only for the Harlequins players to re-appear from beneath the stand to acknowledge the 400 or so hardy Geezers who had travelled to support the team (and drink Paris dry) - a task the players then proceeded to assist them with later in the evening - but that as they say is another story.

Let it not be said that anyone can prevent our reporter from getting to her intended destination. With the match over, off she trotted to the so-called press conference. Now, the easiest route would have been to follow the team into their changing area. However, the (only) friendly steward that she met that evening told her that she had to go via the entrance at the opposite side of the stand, and if she followed the bloke/reporter wearing the Springbok coat she would get there quite easily. So off we went, round to the other side of the stand, only to be told by the not-quite-so-friendly steward that, in fact, we had to go behind the stand! So our lap of honour continued! A few other stewards then pointed out to our reporter that the only way she was ever going to get to the press conference was via the entrance that she had just come from (by this time her fellow reporter/bloke had disappeared)! So back she went, and was eventually allowed in, only to gain a few yards when she was stopped by a "bouncer" and told to get out! Following a heated discussion, she was finally allowed to get to the "press conference" which was to be held in an empty changing room! She arrived just in time to hear Nick Mallet telling another reporter that the game was tough and that he wants to get Stade Français back into the European Cup and the Challenge Cup was one of the two routes in which to get back into that competition (the other being the French league).

Mark Evans said that Stade Français was a tough side, a very good side, and was one of the best teams Harlequins had played this season. He told the reporter that they would be a very tough side to beat in this competition as they are a hard side to put under pressure and they also have a good kicking side. "The first half was a tale of two bounces and we probably should have gone in level at half-time, which would have been a fair reflection of the match. We got back to 16-12 by not doing much but let Stade get away again by giving away a stupid penalty. We didn't score when we put Stade under pressure. We did come to Paris to try and win the game".

Our reporter asked Mark Evans if he thought at any point in the game that we could come away with a win. "Yes, when we were 16-12 down, we could have won. We had been chipping away at their lead, but they got away again in the last 20 minutes. Their first try was a body blow".

She did ask Scotty what he thought of the referee - his reply (the polite version): "not impressed".

And that was the tale of the bouncing ball.!!!!!

Final Result: Stade Francais 27 -12 NEC Harlequins

Harlequins:- 1. Jason Leonard (capt.); 2. Tani Fuga; 3. Laurent Gomez; 4. Bill Davison; 5. Jim Evans; 6. Ace Tiatia (aka Ave Tiata); 7. Pat Sanderson; 8. Tony Diprose; 9. Scott Bemand (aka Scott Bernard); 10. Paul Burke; 11. Matt Moore; 12. Chris Bell; 13. Viliame Satala; 14. Rob Jewell; 15. Nathan Williams.
Subs: 16. Pablo Cardinali; 17. Karl Rudzki (replaced Bill Davidson); 18. Simon Miall; 19. Luke Sheriff (replaced Ace Tiatia); 20. Matthew Powell; 21. Seb Fitzgerald (replaced Paul Burke)

Stade Français:- 1. Laurent Emmanuelli; 2. Benoît August; 3. Pablo Lemoine; 4. David Auradou; 5. Régis Sigoire; 6. Christophe Moni; 7. Pierre Rabadan; 8. Mike James; 9. Fabien Galthie (capt.); 10. Diego Dominguez; 11. Christophe Dominici; 12. Brian Liebenberg; 13. Franck Comba; 14. Thomas Lombard; 15. Arthur Gomes.
Subs: 16. Mathieu Blin; 17. Sylvain Marconnet; 18. Mickaël Balat; 19. Raphaël Poulain; 20. Cliff Mytton; 21. Jérôme Fillol; 22. Julien Berthe.