By Billy Hamilton -
December 20 2005

Today we start the first of what may well turn out to be a major series: The Eejit's Guide to Rugby Union. To start you need a field. One with some grass on it would be preferable. It can be any size but large enough to contain a pitch. Get a very large ruler and a tin of emulsion paint. White paint is preferable but at Hurlingham Stadium in Hammersmith & Fulham the soccer pitch was marked in white, hockey in pale blue and rugby in pink!

With the paint mark out a pitch as follows:

Right are you with me so far? Now you will need some posts:

Flags are put at the intersection of the goal lines and touch lines and two metres out from the intersection of the half way and 22 metres lines on the touchline. That is 14 flags in all. Count them if you don’t believe me. These must at least 1.2 metres tall for safety reasons.

Now you have your own rugby pitch you will need some balls. No ladies we are not going down that road I mean rugby balls.

We are now ready to look for some players and we will deal with that in Part 2.