By OxonRob
February 5 2004

This is the story of a brave young London Irish Development XV up against an extremely large and hitherto invincible Wasps team, who, having played one game fewer than LI, had scored 149 points for only 61 against, and lay top of the table with the same number of points as us. Had this been a boxing match (and it may have been) the appropriate Board would have ruled a mismatch. The Wasps team may or may not have been older than our band of young men, but they were undeniably larger – considerably and dangerously so. As they ran out there was a collective under-the-breath groan from the many London Irish supporters present. Not one of us fancied a guest appearance, and to be honest, not one of the fervent LI supporters I know thought we’d win!

Don’t doubt it, this was an LI performance not only of character but of sheer guts and cussedness. I refuse absolutely to single out individual players for close attention and plaudits. Everyone, including the comparatively small number of substitutes, played their part, and no-one should be omitted from the praise.

No this is not one-eyed exaggeration. Having clocked the enthusiasm, consider the scores. (Wasps first because they were playing a ‘home’ leg, since their home pitch is at Rosslyn Park, who could not accommodate the game.) 7-0; 7-5; 14-5; 21-5. Half Time. 28-5; 28-8; 28-15; 28-18; 28-25; 28-28; 28-31.

The wind blew from behind the Wasps posts in the first half and our posts in the second. In the first half this hardly seemed to affect the Irish kicking, which went modestly where and how we wanted it. We did notice, however, that Wasps’ kicks went a bit further. In the second half the Wasps 10 had an awful job getting the ball away from hand, while the Irish lads belted seven bells out of it. One kick, I think by Ross Laidlaw, our 10, sailed from in front of our posts, where he was relieving Mafeking, and rolled into touch well inside the Wasps 22.

Did I mention the rain? Trust me. We had rain. The Wasps ball must have been like a bar of soap, for they kept popping it forwards and dropping it, when attempting passes. The ball with which we played seemed a tad drier, for we slung it down the line throughout and it seemed to stick pretty well.

When Wasps actually ran with the ball they did so to effect. Rudd in particular looked hard and quick and big in the centre, and Erinle, his partner, was a constant threat. Defty, the Wasps, 10 is a mazy runner, but he cannot pass for nuts – or not tonight, anyway. This worked to our advantage as our back row, our front row, and our locks – oh hell, the entire LI pack - came through onto the Wasps halves to the extent that I doubt they relished possession much.

Badly outgunned up front by sheer size, our pack (and indeed the backs when called into action) were like terriers in the loose. Sure we got turned over from time to time, but Wasps got turned over far more, which was just as well. Ball in hand, Wasps were always a handful. Our tackling may occasionally have verged on the desperate, but it was the desperation of the Battle of Britain and Agincourt, not of Dunkirk and other defeats.

The chronology of the game runs as follows. We had lashings of early possession and made headway with rolling mauls and sniping runs at centre, but we couldn’t get over. Then that Wasps centre Rudd was put away up the middle and that was that. 7-0. Richard Thorpe (6) and Matt Cannon (13) both had decent gallops, before a team effort sent the ball left to Ed Thrower (15 for a change) who rumbled over ‘a la Deano’ towards the corner. The kick failed. 7-5, but to be honest we looked the better footballing side by far, at this stage, and to my surprise the game looked to be within reach.

A Wasps kick-ahead to our 10 metre line was awaited by a calm Thrower, and an excited Topsy Ojo, who leapt in front of Thrower, knocking the ball forward about 20 yards and into the arms of an advancing Wasp. The ball ended up in touch near our line, where Paice (2) collected a yellow, but for what I could not tell. While he was away from the action Wasps scored three tries, two before half time and one immediately afterwards, when their rolling maul advanced with the inevitability of a Roman Testudo (tortoise) formation.

At 28-5 we all felt that the game was up. No matter the parity of the earlier exchanges, Wasps were now clearly bigger and better, and our guys were starting to get injured on a regular basis, not always on the field of play! There had been a certain amount of handbag throwing throughout the game, and it was curious how one particular opponent seemed always to be involved, and curiouser still how certain influential LI players kept getting nobbled. However, they accepted the medicinal sponge with stoic good grace and only one (Gary Johnson 4) had to be replaced (by Andy O’Brien 16). Obviously, the referee must have had a better view of proceedings than I did, for no one went for an early bath. Such wisdom!

Suddenly, Corin Palmer pressed the green GO button, and London Irish started out-swarming the Wasps, spending considerable periods camped on or around their line and their 22. Two successive Wasps drop-outs were charged down, a curious sight, and Laidlaw slotted a penalty, with a colleague holding the ball still for him. Shades of the sixties and seventies. Sensible, too when the touchline flags are near horizontal. 28-8. Then someone, doubtless anxious to keep warm, broke from broken play and dotted down 20 metres upfield for a fine score, narrowly converted in the gale. 28-15. I thought O’Brien scored it; others that it was Matt Cannon. Maybe they should share it?

Another Laidlaw penalty took matters to 28-18, before a mass attack of handbags took place in front of the grandstand, the referee and the coaches, involving at least seven players. Although initially interested, the referee for some reason allowed play to continue, and the Irish line attacked and kicked through. Ojo ran on, hacked further and then fell on the ball for a try that many never saw, being naturally more interested in the result of the boxing. Laidlaw converted. 28-25. Game on.

To be fair to Wasps, throughout this period of unrelieved London Irish scoring, they kept rudely breaking out and threatening to spoil our fun. They hurled the ball about, and Rudd especially made hard yards too frequently for us to be comfortable. Wasps hammered away at our line several times, but were repelled, as much by skill in stealing on the deck (quite legally most of the time) as by sheer determination. Our banana defence was also tested several times, but somehow we always managed to have two or even three LI tacklers per Wasps ball carrier, whereas in the first half the Wasps attackers burst through or around us. Not any more.

Then came that siege-gun kick out of defence, taking play well into Wasps territory. A Wasps kick fell into the arms of Thrower on the ten metre line, who moved right, waited for several minutes and slotted a huge drop kick. Fan-bloody-tastic. 28 all.

It was clear by now that if our Development XV bought but one lottery ticket, it’d win. Laidlaw obliged with a penalty from in front. 28-31. Guinness please.

LONDON IRISH. 1 Campbell, 2 Paice, 3 Buckler, 4 Johnson, 5 Kelly, 6 Thorpe, 7 Haslett, 8 Hoad, 9 Barrett, 10 Laidlaw, 11 Ojo, 12 Whitworth, 13 Cannon ©, 14 Luff, 15 Thrower. 16 O’Brien, 17 Greenwood, 18 Doran, 19 Carruthers, 20 Brennan, 21 Gill, 22 Docherty.

WASPS. 1 McKenzie ©, 2 Gotting, 3 Nwume, 4 Skewington, 5 Dunne, 6 Lock, 7 Clarke, 8 Hart, 9 Biljon, 10 Defty, 11 Roberts, 12 Rudd, 13 Erinle, 14 Roiser, 15 Laird. 16 Shaw, 17 Ireland, 18 Lumby, 19 French, 20 Phillips, 21 Paine, 22 Leota, 23 Lawrence, 24 Wardingley.