London Irish
A London Irish Fairytale
By LKR
November 12 2013
The R43 family take us on a magical journey. In a land far, far away...
Chapter 1: The Return of Sa
Once upon a time a small group of intrepid travellers set out on an amazing adventure. They had heard news that Sa was to be seen in a land far, far away. The travellers had ventured to this land of strange and swirling winds before but when the treasure was within their grasp, the magical winds had blown it away.
There had been many rumours that Sa would return, with people seeking wisdom from the Twittering bird. This time though, the king of Sunbury had sent out a proclamation that Sa would set out in search of the LV Cup.
Accompanying Sa on this quest were 22 other heroes of all ages, some well known to the band of travellers and others joining them specially for this quest. The Twittering bird told the travellers that the Wizard of Oz was accompanying Sa on this journey. This could greatly help in the quest but there was a fear that the Wizard would tell Sa to click his heels three times and say ‘There’s no place like Toulon’ and Sa would be whisked away to the southern regions.
Chapter 2 – The Quest
To succeed in this quest, Sa and his band of heroes would first have to defeat the fiercesome Falcons, but this would be only the first task, as the Saintly Ones would again leave their Garden to challenge Sa and his heroes. In the months to come, there would be another challenge to travel to, to face life-size insects who live at the end of a mysterious industrial estate. To progress to the final stages of the quest, the Scarlet dragons would need to be defeated, in a challenge that the heroes predecessors had repeatedly failed. The results of these four battles would be weighed in the LV scales to see if the golden points accrued had surpassed those of three other challengers – only then could the final two parts of the quest be undertaken.
As the travellers arrived in the land far, far away, magic was already in the air, as the bright light of the Northern sun could be seen. They knew Sa had made the journey on the Kingston Park Express leaving from Platform 9 ¾ and they rubbed their eyes as he stepped out of the coach dressed in the green of London Irish. Would this kit turn back to non-playing wear and the coach turn back to a pumpkin when the clock strikes three? Or would Sa spread his magic and find a pot of gold under the posts.
Chapter 3 – The Battle part 1
After a minute’s silence to remember those fallen in the real, great battles, the quest for the LV Cup began. Looking around, not many intrepid travellers had made it through the ‘wardrobe’ of the Watford Gap, to the nearly frozen lands of the North. (We counted 12 LI supporters which left 3731 Newcastle supporters). As the TV coverage was non-existent, will any believe the 12 that Sa was actually seen participating in this quest?
Within ten minutes, the scene was set with the Referee’s arm raised, indicating a penalty to the Falcons. The penalty for not rolling away, led to a kick to touch and then a penalty for offside, which Clegg slotted (3-0). Falcons soon won a turnover and kicked ahead, with Shane chasing the ball. In true pantomime fashion, we shouted ‘He’s behind you’ and Shane gathered and kicked it clear. After a forward pass, there was time for the dark arts to work – a scrum, at which we conceded a penalty for standing up, which allowed Clegg to make it 6-0 after 13 minutes.
With 16 minutes gone, Alex Lewington passed the ball to Tom Fowlie who ran the ball down the touchline and in at the corner for his first senior try for the professional side (‘Run, run as fast as you can, you can’t catch me, I’m a London Irish Man’). Shane’s conversion bounced off the post, but the score was now 6-5. There then was an exchange of penalties, which made the score with 20 minutes gone, 9-8.
With nearly 30 minutes of the battle gone, Irish got a penalty (my referee advisor SamR43 tells me it was for Darren waving his arms!) and Shane put Irish in the lead making it a score of 9-11. This was to be short-lived, as 5 minutes later, Irish conceded a penalty for in at the side, Falcons kicked to touch and from pressure after the resulting line-out, Warren Fury scored against the post, which with Clegg’s conversion, made the half time score 16-11.
Chapter 4 – The Battle part 2
With only 5 minutes gone in the second part of this battle, Sa worked his magic (with support from some of the other heroes). A great offload flick from Sa froze the Falcon guards and sent the ball to Andy Fenby and then to Alex to score under the posts, Shane converted and Irish were ahead again (16- 18). The referee obviously was unaware of how special an occasion this was with the return of Sa and gave Falcons a penalty for a relatively high tackle by Sa, so the score was 19-18. Guy was replaced by Fergus, Falcons kicked to touch from another penalty and then Jamie Hagan was carded for a deliberate knock on. This was like Willy Wonka’s Golden Ticket for Falcons, as they kicked to touch, won the line-out and pushed over (Mad Monk tells me our feet were sliding back in the mud as we defended) to make the score 26-18 (Richard Mayhew try and Clegg conversion). Bryn replaced Blair, Myles came on for Sa (who left the pitch unscathed to work his magic another day) and Leo came on for Jamie at the end of the sin bin period, and there were a couple of penalties but no change in the score. Irish got a scrum penalty (not binding) and Myles stepped up, after the Wizard Water Boy (James O’Connor) flattened the ground for him, obviously spreading magic dust, as the kick put Irish back within 5 points with 13 minutes to go. However, the magic was not enough as five minutes later, Clegg converted a penalty from our scrum, making the score 29-21. Jonny Harris and Ben Lonergan came on for Matt Parr and Kieran Low, but the score did not change, so Irish came out of the battle unscathed but without a point.
Chapter 5 – The End
The travellers, Sa and his heroes, set off back to the land of Sunbury. The views from those around me who understand rugby rather than see it all as a mystery, said that Irish gave away too many penalties and kicked a lot when maybe they shouldn’t have. However, the mythical Sa was real and looked good, with a great offload and tackle worthy of the legend that is Seilala Mapusua. So, despite the result of this battle, Sa and his heroes, together with the wizard of Oz (who incidentally showed his commitment by coming out at the end of the game to do more kicking practice), hopefully can, in true fairy tale style, live happily ever after.
Digg
Delicious
Facebook
Reddit
Stumbleupon12/11/2013 16:42
If you do not already have an account Click here to Register.
She Spent most of Saturday evening (Day before the game) writing most of the report and then added details afterwards.
I love a good fairy story and a happy ending.
