London Irish
Who Wears Short Shorts?
By SamB_LI
April 25 2013
Spring finally arrived on the afternoon of 20th April. The sun was in the sky, the birds were singing, some had chosen to wear shorts and, traditionally, Irish would bring out their own particular brand of exciting, running rugby. This season, however, we could take nothing for granted when it comes to Irish’s performance on the pitch. I apologise for any inaccuracies that may manifest themselves in this report, I was nursing a slightly sore head which I mostly blame on the makers of Moko Black.
This match was billed as the clash of the Exiles; Welsh versus Irish. A lot of the gloss was taken off the affair, however, with Welsh’s relegation from the Premiership last week. Nonetheless, spectators could expect a thrilling spectacle with two of the worst defences in the league combined with two of the most adventurous back lines. Irish fielded a strong line-up featuring a few soon-to-be ex-players and several of the season’s stars. Welsh had been ravaged by injuries, but still had a squad including some very talented and underrated players.
Irish started brightly, stringing some phases and promising moves together. This was capped when Guy Armitage rounded off a quick throw in by crossing the whitewash. It was a tremendous piece of finishing, with Guy brushing off several tacklers on his way through showing pace and elusive running. This was the start of an outstanding performance from the young man. He seems to have really come of age this season and has really benefitted from Brian giving him a chance. This took us ahead of Welsh whose sole points had come from the boot of the evergreen Gordon Ross.
Sadly, Irish were then ravaged by the same problems that had blighted us in the earlier parts of the season. Missed tackles and lacklustre covering allowed the visitors to mount successful raids into the Irish 22 resulting in tries from the lively Seb Stegmann who then provided the break from which Nick Scott dived in for a second try. Things were looking iffy.
Cometh the hour, cometh the man. Halani Aulika, man of steel and try scorer extraordinaire burrowed over from close range to bring some relief to the fans. How often in the past have we sat and watched as Irish battered away at an opponent’s try line without being able to get that final yard over the whitewash? Halani has the innate ability to score from these sorts of situations, and that is an invaluable asset. This was promptly followed by another of our Tongan terrors (quite literally based on the way he was throwing himself around the pitch in the 1st half), Hala’ufia powering over from close range following some magnificent work from the painfully lively Marland Yarde.
Halftime – Irish 19, Welsh 15. I was certainly happier as I pounded a few constitutional cups of tea.
The second half began and before long, that man Aulika was back doing his impression of a mole, burrowing over for yet another try. Being his fan sponsor, I take a huge amount of credit for his try scoring exploits… Anyway, BONUS POINT!!! Sadly, Gordon Ross started chipping away at the lead, piling over the penalties to bring Welsh back within a converted try with 20 minutes left to play. This seemed to galvanise the team, as Irish responded with a try for the absolutely outstanding Tagicakibau. Not only was Sailosi deadly on the attack, the sight of him desperately stopping Stegmann from crossing the whitewash before Nick Scott’s try was tremendous.
The next incident of note for me was the arrival of Joe Ajuwa. Now, this man mountain is a pretty threatening presence at the best of times, but his imposing appearance was only enhanced by his wearing the most obscenely short pair of short shorts I have ever seen. As I said to my wife, ‘the dog can definitely see the rabbit’. Joe himself appeared to be struggling with them as he seemed to be pulling them out from between his buttocks at every break in play. Hopefully he was none the worse for wear after the game as his circulatory system must have been working overtime to pump the blood past the tourniquet. Irish now began to motor, and tries followed for the most battle-hardened of warriors, Matt Garvey and another for Guy. It was only left for Greg Bateman to restore some credit for Welsh, doing a passable impression of a big, hungry bear in full flight as he hared in from somewhere near halfway. This left the final score at Irish 47, Welsh 28. A good win to end the season at the Madjeski, but still some worrying fallibilities in defence.
Whilst some beat a hasty retreat after deciding they were ‘Not Staying’, the rest of us loitered with intent, waiting to bid some honoured servants goodbye and thank the whole team for their efforts this season. The departure of huge talents such as Watson, Sisi, Joseph and Garvey will leave a huge hole at the club, but I have faith that Brian will fill this and lingering rumours of ‘big name signings’ only strengthen this conviction. The future is bright, despite the clouds currently hovering on the horizon. (What a lovely, poetic ending)
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Excellent match report Sam
