By KevinTheB
October 16 2002

Much shaking of heads. How did we play? Did Trev deserve to get binned? How did we let those tries in? Need to sharpen up next week. What was the score? Queue for beer and food not too long. Take some grub over to the kids, of both nationalities, playing together stage left. Discover they have found French as a common language – poorly, in PhilTheB’s case, but enough to get by.

Have a Dad moment. Decide we need to do something long term to bring kids of like ages from both nationalities together – go on for ages with Italian parents who think it's worth it, bring in management from both teams. Simultaneous translation two ways from Porno - like the United Nations without the shooting. Who knows – probably won’t be able to finance it. Decide to give it a go, anyway. “Good Cause”?

Who said FREE BEER? Parma have stopped charging – they’re just dishing it out. Never seen that before – usually overseas hosts just run out! Perhaps those emails got through after all! Much goodwill generated by this – can we do something ourselves next week, or will our more ‘professional’ game in the UK preclude this? If so, give me amateur!

Off downtown. Last night’s revellers know the way. About a half hour walk brings us to Piazza Garibaldi, the centre of Parma. Not a large city at all – surprising, really. Find the bar we were heading to – the Wasps squad have beaten us there and taken all the best tables!

< Muck in – more beer, anyone?

Get chatting – Scrivs on a high, after getting through the game in one piece. Get introduced to Mark van Gisbergen – blimey, he looks young.

Paul Volley shares some news.

Trev pulls up a chair for PhilTheB and splits a Coke. Some Bath supporters around the edge get pulled in.

Alistair McLean and Warren Gatland arrive too. All the Brits in shirts or t-shirts, all the Italians wrapped up in coats. Kenny tells us that Gabby is meeting him in Venice in the morning – off for a romantic weekend. Doesn’t need the advice he’s offered! Paul Volley gets involved in some Down-In-One challenges with the U21s – manages not to lose, by cheating. Hello, there’s the ref and one of the linesmen. Go and introduce myself.

Go through all the usual questions: “If Specsavers give you free eye tests why can’t you see what’s going on?” “Did you know the ball was that white thing?” Must give them credit - they take it very well. “First time I’ve seen a penalty on the restart in a professional game – well done”. One of our number gets into a close discussion with the linesman. Start to discuss Lifting the Jumper, and Hands On The Ball. For the Good of England we move them apart before there’s too much infringement and a whistle gets blown.

Some of us go back about 2am, others stay on.

The Studd Bruvs left an hour earlier than this, a little tired and emotional and requiring winks in the region of 40. When we got back to the hotel at 3am, they still weren't there - Lost In Parma! Use of mobile phones and ATC from DEB and the Howells off the hotel map saw them land at 4am, sober and embarrassed!

Some of the players are left in the square – what hotel? Anyone remember? One or two who shall remain nameless decide to stay out and go straight to the airport – hope Trev takes the bags! Can’t remember if they did this or not. Bobby H still out at 4am, dancing on tables and riding a pedal bike around the square.

Wander back, remarking on the beauty of the city. Decide to get cultural on Sunday – after all, driving from Stanstead so we can’t drink, might as well see the sights. Talking about sights, steer PhilTheB away from the car nearby the Ladies of the Night which seems to be rocking mysteriously. That's one kind of culture none of us want to take home with us! Funny, they don't seem to have a queue. Get closer and can see why!

Back to bed – set the alarm for breakfast. Wonder who’ll turn up?!

To Be Continued ...