By Alan Stokes
December 28 2002

For those of you not going to Ipswich amuse yourselves with this football puzzle. Its been doing the rounds for years now but is still good fun. Fill in the blanks with names of football teams from the English Premier, Nationwide and Conference as well as Scottish Leagues. Good Luck. The sun shone *________ the day we set sail for the *________ aboard an ancient ship which had a *_______ riddled with holes and a *_______ made up of a Scotsman, Welshman and others of the *________ race. They were a rowdy bunch and did in fact *________ furniture after a heavy session. They divided up some ill gotten gains and fought over the *_______ the first night out. One crew member took a blow to the head and lost his *______ hat in one go. Donald, the second mate soon sorted them out. They settled down to play a strange card game where you had to lay a picture *_______ you could go. The only exception was the cabin boy called *________ whose job it was to *_________ the boiler. He won our *________ with his honest endeavour to conquer his lack of learning by putting the *_______ his cabin door and practising his *__________ alone, almost as if he had been sent to *__________. Poor Pete. On the whole the sea *________ was good for the family and the break suited my *____________ as she had not had a holiday *_________ too long. It certainly did her *_______ lot of good. We *__________, and finally docked at the *__________ which had recently been built at the *_________ of the island. We headed North through the gaping entrance of the *________ to the path they said *_______ to the fabled residence of an Hawaiian Monarch. This recently built fortress came into view and looked a fairly *__________. Though with so much glass in evidence it resembled a *___________. It was inhabited by the *____________. As we approached over the bridge we looked down into the murky depths of the *_______. We watched some natives take their cattle across the river at the *________. We took the subterranean paths *_________ and finally surfaced at the residence. It was looked after by the forest *________ dressed in *________ green who greeted us with a traditional friendly *________. One of their number was a young girl with a shrill voice and I can’t say we liked that *________ of voice. We saw the hills where the *_______ roamed freely and the second mate *________ look around to where the natives *______ their dead and we poked our heads over the *________ to see the corn being ground. On the pond the cygnets had their heads underwater for the *_________ quite clearly in the murky water. For tea each night we ate *________ cake, *__________ buns and some *_________ which had been there for some time.