By Lawrence Fullwell
November 17 2005

Now then? Well bugger me did yer see that England Argentina game eh? I was shocked as a rabbit in the headlines watching that game. England looked a different side and played with some hard thrusting passion for once. I said to a lad in the club “I haven’t seen anyone come from behind over a gang of young Latinos like that for a long time.”

Young Michael Owen is a class player. Mind you it is just a shame he plays for that shite up the road.

Still we haven’t to get too carried away now it was only a friendly so we just have to put that one in our lockers and sit on it and enjoy it. Then we need to move on to bigger things in time for the World Cup next summer.

News has been coming out of the Stadium of Light that Big Mick has been giving a wedge of cash to strengthen the squad in the January transfer window like. So what I did was I drew up a list of potential targets and then I emailed them off to Bob Murray for him to pass onto Big Mick then he can make a move on them behind the sheets like.

So here is the list of players I sent off to Bob Murray.

Robbie Fowler. Now this lad is class and he just needs careful handling and to be kept away from the drug dealers around the seafront. But still I fancy he could do a job for us.

Lee Trundle. I like this lad a lot. He has lovely blond hair and a great muscular physique. I could watch players like him all day me like. I think he would jump at the chance to play for a top club like us.

Marcel Desailly. I had a quick look at his website but it was all in French so I didn’t have a bastard clue what it said but I think I heard on the grapevine that he fancies coming back to England for one last tango from Paris, like that movie where the old guy knocks a slice of that bird on the table with the butter all over the shop. Anyway he may not have the legs but class is permanent and he stills knows his way around the box.

David Healy. This lad is the one who scored against England for Northern Ireland. He has a touch of class about him and looks like he likes rising big on the occasion. I think Leeds could be interested in doing business if the price is right.

Anyway I sent that little lot of to the club and they haven’t got back to us yet like. Must be busy or somat.

So what else I have been doing this week? Well the other day I had the Plumber round doing the washing machine and that. Anyway the Plumber guy is called Trevor and he is a friend of wor lass’s sister like. Thing is he is a bit queer like but I don’t mind as he comes cheap. So anyway he was doing the washer and he shouts he needs a special piece for it, so he asks me to nip round the DIY shop and get it for him. I don’t mind. He even teld us to ask the shop to stick it on his account.

So here I am in the shop, got the bit I need and I say can you put it on Trev's account as he is round our house on the job. The bloke in the shop asks which Trev? So I say Trev the Plumber like. The guy says he knows a few Trev the Plumbers, which one? So I say gay Trev the Plumber. The guy still hasn’t a clue so opens up the door behind the counter and shouts in to all the lads “I’ve got a bloke says he has gay Trev the Plumber round his house now on the job. Can anyone help him?”

I guess I will be buying my DIY bits from somewhere else now. Mind you wor lass does all the DIY in this house I mean you don’t buy a dog and bark yerself do ya?

So lets have a look at this weeks games then shall we?

So the Newcastle have the daunting trip to Chelsea. And I for one will not be feeling blue all over if the men from London do a job and bring the Toon back down to earth with a bump. I will say it before and I will say it again, the jawdees have a poor defensive line and with Bramble and that Boomsong fella it’s like midnight at the OK Coral with yer boots on.

So with that in mind and the fact that Chelsea have been stung by Manchester United the other week, I fancy a bit of a rout me like and I am not talking about the bathroom tiling wor lass has just buggered up either.

So I go for Chelsea 4 Newcastle 0.

So I see you lot have a home encounter against Fulham. Now this is a funny one to call. The score line on this one is as unpredictable as wor mother’s mood swings lads. You lot have the knack of getting it together when you want to but trouble is yer don’t wanna half the bloody time.

Fulham have had a decent season so far and look OK for a mid table berth. They have some canny players as well. That Boa Constrictor Morte is a quick winger with old Radsinki and a few other guys who have the kind of names I cant even say never mind bloody spell.

So bearing all that in mind I have to go for a draw like with Fulham holding it tight at the back and keeping your big boys at bay. Boro 1 Fulham 1.

We have a home game against Aston Villa. Now if I was Big Mick I would be telling tham lads the season starts now. We can turn it around. There is no need to panic apart from the fact that we have been shite so far but that means nothing come kick off time when the crowd roars and the action starts.

Villa have been pretty rank so far this seson as well and you lot beat I remember and we beat you so in my book that means three points to us before the game has even kicked off. I think.

So I go for Sunderland 1 Villa 0.

Hartlepool have a tricky little game at Gillingham I see. I went to Hartlepools game last week as I am the official north east soccer ambassador. Anyway Pools let the game slip away after taking an early lead and I was a bit disappointed with the running from midfield. They seemed to let Brentford take them deeper each time they pushed forward like. Pools need to improve to get a result in this one.

So I go for Gillingham 1 Pools 1.

Darlo have been very erotic lately and have jumped from win to defeat in the manner of Bobby from the club with his lucky 15 horse racing bet every day. Anyway he teld us last week he had a tip for us, so I told him I got one for him. “Always wipe yer arse before pulling yer draws up.”

So Darlo and Macclesfield - this is a hard one again. I go for home win but I could be wrong. It has been known. Macclesfield 1 Darlo 0.

So that’s me for this week. I got a couple of things to do before Saturday. I gotta go and buy the Grandkids bit of Christmas box like and I only got 'em Christmas presents last year as well! Wot a bloody con this lark is eh lads?

Anyway remember- only Sunderland can say we are Sunderland!

Big Lawry