By Lawrence Fullwell
October 27 2005

Alreet ya Boro smoggies? Well I expect you wanna give me a good old spit roasting after I predicted us to beat the toon and we went and lost.
I can't deny that I am still in shock at such a loss. It just hurts us all deep inside like and I feel all depressed an that.

Am off me food 'n all. Wor lass made us a nice dinner the other day and I couldn’t face it, and its not like me to turn down the chance to munch on wor lasses pie like.

So did yer watch the game then? I thought it would be a tight encounter but I was wrong for once. It was an open game with both teams chomping at the clit from the kick off. But I am proud of the display and I said to the guys in the club “to come from behind twice in such quick succession takes some doing.”

At the end of the day it’s the beginning of the night so they say round these parts but I still think after such a honest and workmanlike display we should have nothing to fear for the rest of the season. As long as we stay hard and keep pumping away then I see no reason for us to go down.

Newcastle on the other hand were as happy as if they had won the World Cup six times in a row. How the mighty have fallen eh? The once greatest team in Europe, if you believe the shite that chairman comes out with. They didn’t impress me at all, the jawdees I mean. They look disjointed and all over the place like that leaning tower of Paris in Italy, which is about as close as they will get to Europe for a while.

Speaking of Europe, you lot managed to beat the Grasshoppers which is about the daftest name for a football team I have ever heard. I mean what kind of language do these foreigners speak?

Then you lot put in another display of real class I see at West Ham. Well to a West Ham fan you did. I mean lads, what is going on down by the Riverside these days? Does your boss actually know what he is doing? That Rollingback fella has had more positions than that Joy of Sex book with that bloke with the beard who looked a bit like Dicky Davis if you ask me like.

I listened to Century Radio and your chairman is a sound guy like but he has a queer taste in managers if you ask me.

So the goal line technology debate is up and running again. Well I think it will spoil the game myself. I mean this is football and yer take the rough with the smooth.

Both Darlo and Hartlepool had good wins last weekend. And I was happy to see Darlo put In a good performance that keeps em in touching distance with the lads in front. Hartlepool on the other hand look a little short at the moment and need to have a good long look at themselves before they can even think about slipping into the big boys above them.

So what else this week? Well as I said I have been pretty low and that. So I went for a walk in the park to cheer myself up like. So there I was all peaceful, walking like, 'n I needed a slash so I went to the bogs and was minding me own business doing me business when I looked around and this guy is staring at me like with his right hand in his pocket fumbling away.

So I finished what I was doing and was about to leave when this guy asked us “do yer fancy a nosh?” So I told him “wor lass does me dinner so I am OK thanks very much.” But I think he must have been a bit of a 'head the ball' this guy cause he asked us if I “fancy some back door action” so “I teld him that the council only put a new one on for us last year”.

I just couldn’t work out this guy so I asked him what he was doing in the toilets and he told me some story about him liking golden showers or something. So I just left him standing there looking for his car keys in his pocket, at least I think that is what he was doing.

So anyway lets have a look at the big action in this weeks football.

On Saturday Sunderland take on the Pompey. I fancy us to grab hold of em and give them a real vigorous shaking. Pompey are a funny side and you never what to expect with them. But I think our improving form could be the undressing of the navy lads. And I don’t mean them nice lads the village people either. And I think we will be looking down from them in the table come full time.

So I go for Sunderland 2 Pompey 0.

You lot have Man Utd at home I see. Well it doesn’t take a socket scientist to work out where the three point from this one are going does it? You need to show some hunger and fight and not let Man U turn up and come all over you. What you need is your big lads to stand up and be counted, like in the old westerns on TV. And I don’t mean dress up as cowboys when the Indians used to shoot the arrows at them when they were singing the YMCA. Or am I getting confused with something else?

But I think it will be United who will be shouting bonanza come full time. I go for Boro 0 Man Utd 2.

Anway the jawdees have a trip to West Brom on Sunday and this should be a real comedy of errors this one, what with Captain Marvel trying his best to get relegated with every team he has managed and Souness not having the first clue on teaching his defenders how to defend. On the other hand it might be as much fun as watching wor lass talk to her mother bout the price of bread from netto which I have to put up with every Sunday lunch time.

So I go for West Brom 1 Newcastle 1.

Into League Two or the old Third Division as I call it. Harlepool have a trip to Port Vale, wherever that is. But looking at the league table I see that this lot lie in fifth spot. So Pools will have to work like a nancyboy on his dinner hour trip to the hairdressers if they are to grab anything from this match.

I go for Port Vale 1 Pools 0

Darlo have a trip to Wales to take on Wrexham who are just below Darlo in the table. So here is hoping Darlo don’t get sucked off below them at the end of the game. I still see Darlo as play off material so I will go for…

Wrexham 1 Darlo 2

Anyway that is about it from me I am gonna go and see if I can find that lad I met in the toilets to see if he can fit one of them golden showers in the bathroom for me as a surprise for the Mrs' birthday like.

See ya soon

And remember there is only Sunderland who can say “we are Sunderland”