By Turfmanphil
August 29 2005

TMP recalls his youth whilst supporting the lads at the Turf on the 'Longside' during the 1960s and 1970s

For a Clarets Fan in the 70s under the age of 25, The Longside was the only place to be for excitement, experiences and enjoyment. I used to go with my Dad and a mate or two making our way to the front of the Longside round about the halfway line and standing as many did behind their favourite terrace support. This meant of course with Dad being there that we couldnt join the bovver booted, crewcutted skinheads with the scarfs tied round their wrists but we were Longsiders non the same . Singing of course in those days was in its prime and its much easier to do standing up (do you hear Sir Kilby?) . We delighted in hearing that well known ditty with the shining example of English prose 'You're gonna get your ******* head kicked in again' coming from the Burnley Choir faithful at the back. Of couse who could forget 'We are the Longside,Burnley'. We would 'Play Blackburn Rovers,No Nay Never' either as they spent most of their time in those days in the second or third division!

In my earliest days in the 60s,my recollections were of large crowds with my feet not being able to touch the ground. I remember vividly more than once after a game being wedged between the crowd and literally being carried off the Longside without walking once and finishing up in Brunshaw Rd! Dad on occasions felt sorry for me and put me on his shoulders. He finally gave that up when I had grown to a massive 5ft 10 and weighed 9 stone!

Its surprising what comes back to you when you think about the senses. There are far too many experiences to recall with the sight aspect but smells? How about linament, pipesmoke, Woodbines and by the 70s, dubious smoke? Thinking about tastes as well, there were crisps before flavours other than potato and salt had been invented with that twisty blue thing you had to unravel to find a block of rock salt inside-literally rock!. Pies, chips, beer....Beer now that brings me to the infamous Longside Loo!

Beer for a young lad was of course a pre-match necessity as was the need to get rid of a few pints during the game. If you got caught short on the Longside you had to hope and pray the crowd wasnt too packed to make it to the loo otherwise Plan B (see later for that one). The infamous Longside Loo,what can you say? I defined a set of rules as follows:

1.Always test the wind direction before entering and choose the end of the urinal carefully unless you want to catch the spray from your mates stood next to you
2.Take essential kit with you.An umbrella on very windy days to avoid the spray coming out the top of the rooflless loo and a pair of wellies for wading purposes.Gasmask was optional
3. Take a Botany Degree and learn about Thistles. Understand they can grow out of walls at any angle and seem to love being fed on urine. Remember the phrase 'Thistles have pricks' and hope to god the nouns are not reversed!

Now what about Plan B? You cant make it to the loo in time,hemmed in by a crowd. This is where we found a use for a large overcoat,a Daily Mirror and a Flask!

More directions and rules for this one

1. Drink the Coffee first
2. Fiddle about under Undercoat and find some chap called Percy,
3. Place the little chappy neatly into rolled up Daily Mirror and stand there whistling
4. Keep their attention whilst Daily Mirror finds Flask
5. Go ahhhhhhhhhhhhhh,Phew smile and keep whistling
6. Put top on flask
7. Remember for gawds sake,you no longer have coffee in the flask!

This some people obviously didnt adopt and you always feared that hot,wet feeling that sometimes hit you in the back of the legs!

Other memories of course include the half-time entertainment when that chap used to run on the pitch and slot the scores in the scoreboard to cheers when Man U were losing! . To be honest by the time he had slotted all the scores in, the teams were coming back on the pitch so no time for owt else and certainly no cheerleaders! I also remember the Claret&Blue Tombola and Golden Goal (Never won a sausage!)

What other memories? Oh yes the dog! The one that always made an appearance when we were behind and tried to bite the ref! Many a time the game was stopped for 5 mins with various players trying to catch the blighter.Peter Mellor once tried and it slipped straight through his hands! (No change there then!)

PC Plod at the Bee Hole Hand dancing to the tune of Z Cars whistled by the crowd!

So many memories,where do you stop? I suspect here,but if you want more ask me nicely