By MattoftheSpurs
April 15 2007

This was one of those game that swung more times in ninety minutes than a Dutch housewife with an animal fetish at a swingers’ party. Tottenham fielded both the three stooges and the keystone cops in defence in an attempt to stifle the free flowing goal scoring machine that is Wigan Athletic. FA Premiership

15th April 2007

JJB Stadium

Wigan (2) 3
Heskey 2, Baines 30, Kilbane 60

Tottenham Hotspur (2) 3
Berbatov 4, Keane 35 (pen), 68.

Attendance: 16,506

Referee: Graham Poll.


This was one of those game that swung more times in ninety minutes than a Dutch housewife with an animal fetish at a swingers’ party. Tottenham decided to field both the three stooges and the keystone cops in defence in an attempt to stifle the free flowing goal scoring machine that is Wigan Athletic.

As early as the first minute Moe, Larry, Curly and Shemp that is the Spurs defence found themselves chasing their own shadows as the powerhouse of goal scorers that is Emile Heskey had not one but two chances to put the ball in the net from 3 inches. Having spurned the first effort by deftly heading against his own team mate he finally found the back of the net through more luck than judgment.

As both teams decided that it was too nice a day to defend Spurs promptly went up the other end and equalised. Robbie Keane drove into the box from the right and found Berbatov. The Bulgarian decided he would see how many of the Wigan players he could go around before being dispossessed but gave up after he went round three of them and twenty two spectators and called a halt to the proceedings by passing the ball into the back of the net.

Leighton Baines then decided that as he was not going to be needed to defend today crept up field and from an acute angle on the left shot the Latics back in front in what can only be described as a good goal in the face of humility.

Spurs were not to take this lying down (except for Lennon who was quite happily sunbathing on the left flank). Having won the ball on the edge of his own box Jenas strode forwards with the ball, exchanged a neat one two with Keane before galloping onto the return. A push in the back and a rash challenge by Filan in the Wigan goal and it was a penalty. Up stepped Robbie Keane to slip the ball home was the Wigan keeper read the Sunday Sport, completely untroubled about such things as attempting to save the ball. As the half time whistle went the custard pie throwing entertainment that was scheduled for half time was cancelled as it was decided that everyone had had enough slap stick for one day.

The second half began in a curious fashion. Neither team scored for ages. Both defences actually looked like they might even attempt clearances (as long as the ball came to them. It was a hot day and running about in this weather is just not on). It was not long though that the vampires in the Tottenham defence succumbed to yet another cross into the box (old joke but what the hey. It’s not like I get paid for writing this drivel you know) and Kilbane was on the spot score not only his first goal for Wigan but his first league goal in two and a half years.

Not to be outdone by the charity of the Spurs defence Matt Jackson then decided it would be friendly of him to let Robbie Keane chase a long goal kick on his own instead of hassling the poor man. Robbie gratefully accepted and finished well from thirty five yards. Martin Jol looked on furiously as skilful play had no place on the football pitch on this given Sunday.

Wigan made some substitutions. Then Spurs apparently made some too. The invisible man wandered off to shave his eyebrows and the game petered out despite Pascal Chimbonda’s attempts to ram the boos down the pie eaters throats late on.

So a point for each club. Not nearly enough for either in all honesty but both clubs should just be thankful that they were not up against more unforgiving opposition today.

Wigan: Filan, Boyce, Jackson (Skoko 73), De Zeeuw, Baines, Scharner, Landzaat, Kilbane, McCulloch (Taylor 40), Heskey (Folan 66), Camara.

Tottenham Hotspur: Robinson, Chimbonda, Ifil, Dawson, Rocha, Tainio (Malbranque 65), Jenas, Zokora, Lennon (Defoe 75), Berbatov, Keane.