By Veston Pants
April 26 2007

Well, it's the final game of the season, 1 point in it, no finger nails left, SKY TV visting, and Mr. Pants has once again penned his thoughts for you all to feast over.

 Worcester Warriors vs Saracens

Saturday 28th April 2007

Veston’s Dream

 

 

Once upon a time….

 

….in days of yore, there lived a brave band of Warriors, led by the noble King John, who strode around their land striking fear into the hearts of all those they encountered.  Their power and passion became legend and multitudes thronged to praise their favourites.  From far and wide they came to the faithful city, vocal ones from ye olde hamlet of Powicke, quiet ones from the Minster of Kiddie, horn blowers from London village, even thoughtful scribes from the settlement of Droitwyche.

 

Things went well for King John and his Warriors and his subjects were happy.  Then all of a sudden, as if struck by some terrible curse, fortunes changed, many of the brave Warriors became afflicted with a terrible case of the dropsies and there was much consternation in the faithful city. The once happy followers did start to ask questions.  Was King John losing his command to Prince Skippie – he of the mysterious ways – and did the brave Warriors become confused by the unusual tongue in which he spoke. No longer were they feared.  Invaders from distant lands did arrive at Sixways and leave with all but the sacred bonus point.

 

Finally, amidst fears of banishment to the mythical land of Pertemps action was taken. The great wizard Lord Cecil was consulted and Prince Skippie was seen no more.  And lo, as if by some cosmic coincidence, did their fortunes change.  The brave Warriors ventured south to the flooded plains of Hertfordshire to face the fearsome Saracens, veterans of many great campaigns both at home and abroad. But against the expectations of those venerable sages, Dewi and Barnesy, the Warriors did return to the faithful city with four most precious points.  Things gradually improved and spirits were raised but banishment remained a threat. With only six challengers remaining to be faced the great wizard declared that each challenge should be considered to be a Chalice Final.  The first three chalices were successfully gathered and much merriment was encountered.  The next two challenges saw the brave Warriors face great adversity. Tricky underfoot conditions in the south west meant that the most lofty Warrior must retire from the battlefield for the challenge of those cheerful Hibernians and thus no points were gathered. 

 

And so it came to pass that one final Chalice remained. For banishment to be cast aside the brave Warriors had to face up to those fearsome Saracens once more. The Saracens boasted many fine men among their ranks.  The great Richard Hill; the mischievous Thomas Castaignede - who did so relish making many thrusts across Warrior lines in previous encounters; the great northern convert Andy Farrell and the majestic Glen Jackson who many of his contemporaries did think to be the best of the time. The Saracens were much feared but did have their weaknesses.  The previous week they had, perhaps surprisingly, been overcome by the men of Bath in a European Challenge.  Indeed, while greatly feared when defending their home territory the Saracens had been weaker when travelling away - having won only once in their previous five away trips.

 

Undaunted by the prospect of great upset many thousands did make their way to Sixways on that afternoon of the 28^th day of April 2007……

 

…..and the rest is history in the making.

 

Oh, and I must stop eating cheese just before bedtime.