By Glen Leat
August 2 2003

I work in Bristol and popped in to a pub as they had a comedian on for the lunchtime trade. Given that Bristolians are well known for their sense of humour, particularly when laughing at themselves, I was surprised to hear a load of jokes at the expense of Brisslers and I'll share a few with you...

The Wonder of Peter B
Peter B is appearing on the television quiz show 'Who wants to be a Millionaire'. He has already reached the £64,000 mark but he only has one lifeline left which is to phone a friend. "You've done really well to get this far Peter" the quizmaster says, "the next question is worth £125,000 if you decide to play. Are you ready?"

"Sure" Peter nods. "On screen is a photograph of an ex-Bath Rugby star as a small baby." the quizmaster continues, "The question is Peter, and don't forget this is for £125,000, which player is it?" Peter looks at the picture on screen for a while and says "I'm pretty sure it's that turncoat Stuart Barnes... No, I'm sure it is... Can I phone a friend just to check?" "OK" the quizmaster asks, "Who are you going to phone?" Peter answers and pretty soon the phone is ringing and his best friend Billy Nomates picks up at the other end. The quizmaster explains the situation to Billy and Peter asks him the same question. Without any hesitation Billy replies "No, that's definately Richard Hill" Peter looks concerned now "Are you sure Billy, I'm convinced that it's Stuart Barnes?" "Definately" Billy replies.

"Well" the quizmaster continues, "You've used your lifeline, now I need your answer" "OK" says Peter, looking nervous now, "But I'm sure it's Stuart Barnes, that's my final answer... Stuart Barnes."

"You had £64,000 Peter, If you're right you win £125,000, if you're wrong you leave us with the money you've got so far..." There's a tense drum roll and the music dips before the quizmaster speaks again. "Sorry Peter, you were wrong. Never mind, you've been a great contestant and you've won £64,000. Here's your cheque and thanks for playing."

As the audience start to applaud Peter asks, "What was the correct answer, it's killing me!" The quizmaster replies, "Victor Ubogu."

Watch Out There's A Brissler Wife About!
A Brissler left work on Friday afternoon, but instead of going home, he stayed out the entire weekend drinking with the boys and spending his entire
paycheck. When he finally appeared at home Sunday night, he was confronted by his very angry wife and was barraged for nearly two hours with a tirade of his actions. Finally, his wife stopped the nagging and said to him. "How would you like it if you didn't see me for two or three days?" To which he replied, "That would be fine with me."

Monday went by and the Brissler didn't see his wife. Tuesday and Wednesday came and went with the same results. Thursday, the swelling went down just enough where he could see her a little out of the corner of his left eye!

How Smart?
The club president, coach, a prop and a wing from one of the many Bristol junior sides are taking a charter flight whilst on a summer tour of South Africa when the plane's engines cut out.The pilot enters the passenger compartment and says, "We're going down. There's only four parachutes! Since I'm the pilot I'm taking one," and then jumps from the plane.

The coach says, "Without me the team won't have a chance, so I'm taking one," and he jumps out.

The winger says, "I'm the fastest and smartest man on the pitch and without me the team can't win a game, so I'm taking one," and he jumps out of the plane.

The club president looks at the prop and says, "You take the last parachute. The team needs you more than it needs me". The prop responds, "We both can take a parachute. The smartest man on the pitch just jumped out of the plane with my kit bag on his back."

It's In The Breeding!
A Brissler and his son, Bobby, arrive at the Mem and Dad can't find the tickets.
Dad: "Nip home Bobby and see if I left the tickets there."
Bobby: "No probs, Dad."
Half an hour later Bobby returns to his dad who is patiently waiting outside the stadium.
Bobby: "Yep, they're on the kitchen table where you left them."