Saracens
Orcs vs Pretty Boys
By AlanE
November 20 2012
What is it about Australians? Digby Inane’s comments about England’s pretty boy wingers somehow brought to mind a previous Australian press sledging about orcs on steroids. That was not the last time that would occur to me in the week.
Friday saw MrsE and I heading up the motorway to see t’lad on a mid-term break at Uni. The plan was that the three of us would see the Sale match on Friday and then MrsE would indulge in some light retail therapy the next day while we went to find a pub in the middle of Manchester (or Man-chust-uh as they call it here on the wrong side of the Pennines) where we could watch the England/ Australia match.
Salford (or is it Eccles) on Friday evening had an unforgiving damp chill, so recollections of the match are without benefit of notes, because of hands, gloved against the cold and cupped over nose to ward off predicted smell from the largest sewage farm in Europe. In truth the smell, while a lingering threat in the background, was not as bad as forewarned. But this was a cold November evening; I will not be coming back on a hot steaming August day to see the Salford Reds.
And then the orcs appeared. (In deference to a former editrix I should exempt the Sale No 7 from this description). Just like last time, the players came out in white and black (well, dark blue) - good and evil. This time, the orcs were wearing black. They were so huge compared with our little team that we feared for our prospects. Suddenly a Storm team bolstered by a leavening of players with first team experience didn’t seem a good idea against pretty much a Sale first team.
The kick off was the signal for an intense and nerve-wracking 5 minutes or so of pressure which led to a big looping pass from Cips finding a centre who shipped on to an international winger carelessly left lurking unattended outside our defence. Cueto, who the announcer had described as ‘one of the old guard’ (Dimes’ motivation skills coming to the fore there) had pretty much a walk-in from a few metres. 5-0 (The conversion was taken and missed by one of the new guard, a blond centre whose name I likewise missed.)
Then we got going and things started to look promising. Nils was controlling the back line well and a couple of penalties from him (not easy ones) took us into a 5-6 lead. In general we were playing well and holding our own in the loose. Sarries looked faster and more alert than Sale in this period and size didn’t seem to matter. We seemed just about to hold our own in the scrums as well, but not without effort in the mauls.
And then came one of the moments of the match – Nick Auterac burst out of a crowd and made a 30-metre break to half way. He passed inside to Ben Ransom who, going left, not for the first time beat his man. The ball came back to the right ending up with Kameli somewhere around the Sale 10 metre line. He went right and Mark Cueto and Fraser McKenzie (I think) had to decide which of them should tackle him. They decided that the gap would make a better job, but Kameli swerved through it and cantered in to the line and round under the posts. 5-13 with an easy conversion from Nils.
It didn’t last long. The orcs stirred from their slumber and found themselves in a lineout about 5-10 metres out (from memory from a penalty, which we shouldn’t have conceded, well into their half). They secured the ball and smashed over the line with embarrassing ease. The maul almost didn’t have time to form but it did so just in time for Sarries to be pinged for bringing it down and what would have been a five-point try with a difficult kick became a penalty try and seven points. 12-13.
Try of the season alert - The next try came like an express train. The ball was fielded from a long kick by Ben Ransom behind our defensive lines. He had already had a run from deep and almost scored a 60-metre try single handed. This time he broke through the midfield and headed towards the far left corner with the whole attack surging to the left. Suddenly the ball came back to the right; a couple of pairs of hands and it was with Duncan Taylor - for a nano-second. He almost got man and ball, but shipped it on in the blink of an eye to Joel Tomkins who went in to the right-hand corner unopposed from about 30 metres followed by a difficult conversion from the impressive Mordt. The attack was so fluid that it had the Sale supporters cheering and clapping along with us. 12-20.
Half-time. We had held our own and really shouldn’t have lost it from there. Perhaps the team had some of the meat and potato pies which t’lad recommended as staple northern food. Sale supporters were very impressed, especially with our 15 – “Who is he? We’ll keep an eye out for him”.
The first eight minutes of the second half were similar fare – Sarries playing well in the loose and managing to avoid the heavy duty areas. And then came the two moments which changed the match. I can’t remember which order this came in but we lost Nils Mordt to the blood bin, never to return and replaced by Sam Stanley, and Eoin Sherriff to the sin bin. Sherriff’s binning was from a lineout where he misjudged his challenge and barged into a player before he was fully grounded.
10 minutes of agony with Sale all over us. Crowd chanting ‘Sayul, Sayul’ for the first time. Orcs rampaging everywhere. From one mess somewhere around our 22, Fraser McKenzie appeared with white bodies hanging off him to burst through to crash over the line. (The announcer said it was McKenzie; the coaches’ cut gives it to Gaskell. Take your pick.) I was almost convinced that I heard someone saying ‘Eeee, I'll go to t'foot of our stairs,’ but I could have been wrong. Cips (I think) conversion – 19-20 and things were not looking good with still 6-7 minutes of the sin-binning to go. In that time Cipriani got another penalty to make it 22-20. The binning had cost us 10 points.
Eoin Sherriff came back on to a lineout which was spookily in exactly the same position where he had been penalised. Good grief – he’ll make it a red now! But no – he leapt like a salmon and took the ball cleanly only for an orc to come underneath him and bring him crashing to the ground on his back. Was the orc sin-binned? No, of course not!
The rest of the match (22 minutes) was a huge disappointment. It was messy with neither side getting the upper hand. Ben Spencer took over the kicking and got a long distance penalty from widish on the 10 metre line. Miller (3rd Sale kicker of the night) got one back to make it 25-23 which turned out to be the final score. It might not have been – Ben had one final penalty to re-take the lead from the same place as his previous one or perhaps a little shorter, but it didn’t have the legs. The match became more frenetic with penalties given away and too many knocks-on as Sarries chased the game. The chants of ‘Sayul’ became louder and more confident as the match slid to a close.
Good luck to Sale for the rest of the season. They deserve it for the graciousness of their supporters in the first half when they looked like losing; they might need it from all reports if John Mitchell does take over as Head Coach.
Clearly it was the wrong weekend for rugby. The next day we searched for a pub but they all seemed to be showing Man-chust-uh City playing someone at a different sport. Eventually we found a big screen at Joshua Brooks’, one of Man-chust-uh’s premier night spot. Judging by the adverts you might want to avoid this place on a Wednesday night! I can recommend a pint of Mary Jane’s IPA from the Ilkley Brewery which had travelled well from the other side of the Pennines. From her silhouette on the pump she was definitely wearing a bonnet, unlike the pretty boy who would have been courtin’ her on Ilkla Moor baht ‘at.
Anyway you all know what happened in the match so I won’t dwell on misery and injustice. But we had missed the first 10 minutes of the match in finding the place and as we came in the door the camera was focussed on a selection of spectacularly ugly Australian forwards. Orcs came to mind again and suddenly the rationale for Mr Inane’s comments became clear. While our players might not be the most handsome, after all, everything is relative.
Sale: 15 Cameron Shepherd, 14 Charlie Amesbury, 13 Corne Uys, 12 Jordan Davies, 11 Mark Cueto, 10 Danny Cipriani, 9 Dwayne Peel, 8 Richie Vernon, 7 David Seymour (capt ), 6 James Gaskell, 5 Kearnan Myall, 4 Fraser McKenzie, 3 Tony Buckley, 2 Joe Ward, 1 Eifion Lewis-Roberts.
Replacements: 16 Tommy Taylor, 17 Ross Harrison, 18 Vadim Cobilas, 19 Tom Holmes, 20 James Doyle, 21 Will Cliff, 22 Rob Miller, 23 Will Addison.
Saracens: 15 Ben Ransom, 14 Duncan Taylor, 13 Joel Tomkins, 12 Kameli Ratuvou, 11 James Short, 10 Nils Mordt (capt), 9 Ben Spencer, 8 Jono Ross, 7 Andy Saull, 6 Nick Fenton-Wells, 5 Mouritz Botha, 4 George Kruis, 3 Lorenzo Romano, 2 Jamie George, 1 Nick Auterac.
Replacements 16 Scott Spurling, 17 Rick Reeves, 18 Carlos Nieto, 19 Eoin Sheriff, 20 Jackson Wray, 21 Ali Price, 22 Sam Stanley, 23 David Strettle.
Digg
Delicious
Facebook
Reddit
Stumbleupon20/11/2012 20:54
If you do not already have an account Click here to Register.
Thanks Alan for the Sale match report.
Edited 2 time(s). Last edit at 2012:12:03:21:52:39 by sutton_sarrie.
excellent stuff
It's a long time since Sports network paid anything!
Shame about the result but we are still in with a shout!
More Saracens headlines
- END OF SEASON POLL AT LAST
- PWR Semi Final and Final 2025-26 Report
- Saracens Women v Ealing Trailfinders PWR Final Report
- Saracens Women v Ealing Trailfinders PWR Final Preview
- MARK McCALL, AN APPRECIATION
- Saracens Women v Exeter Chiefs Women PWR Semi-Final Report
- Exeter Chiefs v Saracens Premiership Report
- EXETER v SARACENS: please post match related content here
- SURVIVAL OF THE FITTEST