By The Fezboys
August 8 2012
It was always gong to be a tough assignment; following in the footsetps of Michael Lynagh. Sarries needed an international-class fly half and who better than one with plenty of experience as part of the France squad, not to mention the captain of a Heineken Cup winning team. What on Earth could go wrong?
Name: Alain Penaud
International Caps: 32, France.
Joined from: Brive
Time at Saracens: 1998-1999
Appearances: 27
Points: 73
Famous for: Probably driving a Renault, never being selected for any of the four World Cups for which he was eligible and captaining Brive to a four-try, 27-9 thumping of Leicester (never miss a chance to talk about Tigers fans weeping, eh?) in the 1997 Heineken Cup Final.
Hype: Upon his arrival, Francois Pienaar said of the replacement for the newly-retired Michael Lynagh “We looked far and wide for Michael's replacement. A couple of names came up and we had meetings with most of them. Mark Evans travelled all over Europe to meet the players but we decided on Alain for a number of reasons. He was always our first choice and we are delighted he has agreed to join the Saracens family. Alain is a fantastic player with a very physical game.”
Reality: Despite the Francois flannel, hardly set the world alight and was a little temperamental, not unlike other French players. Left after just one year of a three-year contract because, allegedly, his missus didn't like the hell hole that is St Albans. There's no pleasing some people.
Most memorable Sarries moment: Trying to bum cigarettes in the Red Lion after a Vicarage Road match, only to be rumbled by Francois Pienaar. Penaud scarpered quicker than we ever saw him run on the pitch.
What Happened Next: The last two lines of the song penned by us for him had to be re-written in a hurry.
From:
His name is Alain Penaud – He prob’ly drives a Renault – He plays at number ten-oh – Right next to Nice-But-Dim [Kyran Bracken, of course]
To:
His name is Alain Penaud – He prob’ly drives a Renault – Won’t play for us again, no! – He’s f****d off back to France!

