Saracens
End of Season Poll: Part 2
Flag @ 'The Sun' Richmond
By T
July 29 2009
Part two of the poll sees some rather dubious 'awards' given to other teams and fans and a bit of credit where it’s due too.
1. BEST PERFORMANCE BY A SARACENS TEAM
I once played in a game where as the first choice kicker I missed every single kick at the posts yet we still won 60-0. The difference was that I was not a professional and was only 12 years old, which is a nice introduction to the ‘miracle’ game against Bath. You remember the one with the bonus point? Winning 20-16 despite missing everything kickable… with the exception of Nick Abbadbadon who looked like he got a good kicking for 80 minutes.
Second place went to the game against Sale where just a few days we held on ”by our fingernails, despite having bitten them all the way down” a few days after it was announced that there would be a large contingent of players leave us for pastures new… and in some cases just put in another field out of the way where no one could see them.
But It was the game in the ECC at home to Newcastle that was voted best performance. With Falcons on a 9 game winning run, bang in form and Tom May pulling the strings they turned up and were not even given a sniff in what was described by one pollster as the most “clinical and professional” performance they’d seen for several years. We were always 100% in control from start to finish and deservedly through.
Winner ECC QF at home to Newcastle
2nd Sale at home
3rd Bath at home
2. WORST PERFORMANCE BY A SARACENS TEAM: Unsurprisingly all away games were voted for in this category. There were several votes for the annual capitulation at Welford Road, no surprise given how woeful we are up there every year. Harlequins in the LDH was described as “Once again too many sloppy errors (especially in missing tackles and giving away possession) it seemed the season started in the same way it finished”
But it was Wuss Away again that took the plaudits. “Inferior team. But we never looked up for it.” and “I would love us just one time to actually turn up” It was after this that a senior player announced in a Watford bar “we don’t bother with away games since the upheaval” which I’m sure was a surprise to all involved as it was never clear we actually bothered before the departures were announced…Winner Worcester Away
2nd Leicester Away
3rd Quins in the LDH
3. FAVOURITE CLUB TO VISIT FOR AN AWAY GAME:
Newcastle gets a couple of votes as decent bunch of chaps and chapesses. While Quins took a chunk of votes on the back of “always having a decent band on in their pretty decent bar afterwards” and the fact it’s ‘pretty close’ for a few of the befezzed.Northampton Saints took several of the Fezboys votes due just to having a “nice set up” and “because it always makes me wish we had our own stadium just like it, though I dislike the dead silence at kicks”
But it was the boys in green that took the votes, which is a good job as Sarries look like modeling their team on the London Irish of 2003, so at least you’ll enjoy coming to VR… as long as you ignore the other bits of the ‘experience’. Put succinctly the winner of best club to visit for an away game was “L. Irish, nicest stadium and slightly less annoying fans than others”
Winner London Irish
2nd Northampton & Quins
3rd Newcastle
4. LEAST FAVOURITE CLUB TO VISIT FOR AN AWAY GAME:
While some of you love the choice of food and everything that comes with west London’s the clueless bores that know nothing about rugby but feel the need to bray and shout encouragement while not really sure what they’re talking about “or using the 1937 law book as their source of knowledge” make Quins as enjoyable as a visit to the ballet for some…Newcastle and Sale get plenty of votes as they favour Friday night games which pretty much “makes away support non existent and with a peculiar atmosphere in the ground”, “Travel on a Friday night? Nah.”… Lightweights!
Like an old lady refusing to budge from her dilapidated old council house so it can be bulldozed and something more up-to-date or at least with a roof on it built in it’s place. According to you, it’s the roman ruins of the Rec that are clearly not suitable for professional sport. Apparently nothing to do with the feisty atmosphere at the ground, just the “crap facilities”, “appalling stand we get shoved in”. Apparently there were also large queues for the toilets as all the cubicles were taken…
Winner Bath
2nd Newcastle & Sale
3rd Quins
5. BEST OPPOSITION FANS:
Bayonne and Monte de Marsan were given votes as they’re clearly seen as exotic and mysterious by the citizens of the South East… London Irish got a few votes as they always do in this poll as nobody seems to mind the Irish, like sky sport news presenters they’re totally bland and inoffensive that what ever the category they’ll always get a vote, but like the team it’s self will never actually win anything worth winning.
The winners were not quite as exotic but spoke an equally mysterious way. They turned out in large numbers and contributed to one of the largest gates of the season, “were good humoured and supported their club to the end” The Geordies given free coach travel for the day certainly made their presence felt “Got to thank them for travelling such a long way and making a lot of well-mannered noise instead of grating chants”. I wonder if their 500 mile return journey after having had the door of the semi final slammed in their face was any more pleasant as it was free? No? Thought not.
Winners Newcastle
2nd London Irish
3rd Bayonne & Monte De Marsan
6. WORST OPPOSITION FANS:
I love these ‘worst’ categories, they’re the ones that have opposition boards in a right old tizz and the same time I can pick out any sociopathic tendencies that I can inform the ticket office of so I don’t get stuck next to one of you rabid nutters for the whole season…Now there was a bit of a theme to all of these posts see if you can spot it!
“Glaws – Although the Bath MB’s are running pretty close.”
“Quins, they’re not the most annoying in terms of chants etc but generally just no rugby knowledge I've found Bath fans showing on their board came a close second for me and think they'll probably win this one.”
“Bath getting all high and mighty, proclaiming us the most disliked team in the whole league, people abusing the CEO whose come onto the message boards to speak with us, abusing players after the final whistle has gone, wishing it was us with rumours of a drugs problems in the squad, then all of a sudden bang “four players leave to prove they’re innocent!”
“Bath, Bath 2nd XV, Bath Youth Team”
“the ‘fans’ on their forums”
Still there was one, literally one, that didn’t mention Bath which deserves to be in here for balance
“Northampton:
You've only got
You've only got
You've only got the one same song
And by linking religion to military terminology, don't you think it portrays an anachronistic worldview?
(I admit I need to work on the last line)”
I probably shouldn’t put anything in here which might inflame things… I’ll save it for the categories below.
Winner Bath
2nd Quins
3rd Northampton & Gloucester
7. FAVOURITE OTHER GP TEAM (NON-SARACENS):
I think this question is on it’s way out, down to the hard natured of professional sport there is no room for others in your hearts. A few here and there that did actually vote for other teams but the overwhelming winner was there is no other but Saracens… Winner Saracens
2nd There is no one else
3rd Nobody
8. LEAST FAVOURITE TEAM:
You always expect the same teams to turn up here local rivals Wasps, social rivals Quins, and then just mad irrational hatred of various teams based nothing more than “blue being your ex partners favorite colour” and “hating Roger Moore so anything to do with saints is out”… oh and this year, Bath lots of Bath, they’re the new Leicester and Nick Abadbabdbabon is the new effeminate Martin Johnson don’t you know?!
Several votes for Wasps with one poller suggesting that there are “too many self serving big mouthed a**holes playing/used to play for them” another vote was one was for their Edwards inspired “excuses that have poured out of his mouth this year through his guardian column” and another one praising the “Danny bloody Cipriani, 40 minutes where he played well and he’s the best player fly half in the world people seem to have ignored the other 2000 minutes where he ranged from ordinary to rubbish” Quins get their normal votes for being arrogant bunch who think they’re better than us blue collar types, while annual hate figures Leicester and Gloucester take their normal votes.But with the risk of throwing petrol on the sizzled out ashes of the fire it’s Bath that come top in your most disliked, about as popular as an Australian lock at a Quins Christmas party.
Winner Bath
2nd Wasps
3rd Quins & Leicester
9. BEST BAR:
Quins East stand gets votes for a decent pint and a decent band, while fellow west London drinking hole The Sun, Richmond gets another vote. “I wonder if that Sarries flag is still there?” asks one poller… “no bloody idea” replies this compiler of the poll.
Druids in Watford seems to the be place of choice for a pre match drink, it’s just a shame that can’t put the pub on wheels and push it a bit closer to the ground for lazy people such as myself One wise sage pointed out that “None are very good, far too much Tetleys and not enough decent ale” he then goes on to pick out but Saints edge ahead for the atmosphere of those that he did sample Viadana and Bayonne also got votes as they are foreign and are therefore seen as exotic… despite not having pork scratchings.
Winner Quins
2nd Druids Watford
3rd Northampton, Viadana & Bayonne
10. WORST BAR:
One outspoken critic, only to willing to stick the boot into Bath suggests “to describe the club as having facilities is a misuse of the word.” One hopes that those wishing to keep ‘Rugby at the Rec’ also realise they need to ‘demolish the place to have a decent drink’… is it any wonder the players prefer being out in the Slug and Lettuce and the Church in London?!
Northampton took a vote for their prices “£3 for a hot chocolate that's worse than the ones at Vicarage Road!” but that is just a minor spot on the saints bottom. It’s however grown into something much larger at Twickers, “crap service, warm drinks”, “clueless staff, no idea, very expensive and stupid prices!” were just some of the complaints of HQ
But there can only be one! Like Usain Bolt the favorite streaks home by such a distance it would have had enough time to slow down, change outfits and pose for the cameras as it crossed the finishing line.
Yes for it’s 10th year in succession our very own VR is voted worst of the lot. “Most people complain about the bitter, but the lager is sh1te too.” It’s nice to know that with away supporters vocal in their dislike of VR are vindicated with support from the Saracens fan base “Year after year it’s still rubbish, why does anyone still drink here?” Yes we as Sarries supporters like a moan, but you can’t help feeling it’s justified in some cases.
Winner Vicarage Road
2nd Twickenham
3rd Bath
11. BEST 'SOLIDS':
Several votes for Northampton “You have to admire a place that has an ice cream van in the middle of February”, and London Irish one pollster commented on the “Chicken balti pie.” which sounds like it will go down with the Bristol pasty as ‘must eats’ “I am not sure if it was ‘Ramsey’ standard, or because I had a hangover, but I had two, without breathing in between and they were deee-lich”
Viadana and Bayonne took votes because they were no doubt seen as exotic, despite none of you knowing if you were eating horse or not. Several votes for Bristol although there were conflicting reports that “they have kicked out the pasty seller since we went there” and “Pasties were excellent” so one of you had clearly been on the cider
However Edward G would do well to take along look at the set up down at Quins, he could then totally ignore the ridiculous shirts, the jumped up clueless toffs that know nothing about rugby, the piss poor seats given to away supporters and instead just look at the food and drink that they put on. Once again Quins take another award for their admittedly fine fare.One of the blue collar pollsters commented that they “had the chance to sample corporate food at a few grounds this season and their’s was the best.”…I can only assume the little blue collared rascal obviously meant he was serving the food and then got the leftovers…
Winner Quins
2nd Northampton, Bristol
3rd Viadana & Beyonne
12. WORST 'SOLIDS':
A single vote for the lone vegetarian at the pre season friendly with Western Force who was “offered was very runny Mushroom Stroganoff. Would it have been that difficult to put some veggie burgers on the barbeque?” We’ll probably have a whole boar on the Brai this year. Awesome!
A vote for Quins “just bad bad food” which is probably just down to them not having bread and dripping or something equally down to earth for the hard working blue collar Sarrie. Probably the most sensible person declared “I don’t eat at grounds” which probably while being a good choice in life, is a little to smug for a poll on worst food. Bath also got a vote which probably has nothing to do with anything it’s just people don’t like them very much this year…T
wickenham got votes as they “had run out of hotdog rolls and instead offered a hot dog in a napkin for £5! Who in their right mind doesn’t order the same amount of rolls to hotdogs?!”… “Same as every year massively overpriced”The Hot dog theme continues…”Crap hot dog, rubbish portions of chips, warm beer, overpriced” No not Twickenham but our very own Vicarage road which yet again rules the roost as the worst food of any grounds you’ve visited. Expect to see Wembley on here next season alongside Vicarage road and Twickers to make it a Home game hat-trick!
Winner Vicarage Road
2nd Twickenham
3rd Bath
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Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 2009:08:24:14:50:26 by Kat.
Who removed my H.R. Giger picture?
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