By RtR on 11/07/2003
July 11 2003

Wednesday 9th July turned out to be one of the warmest and most humid nights of the year so far. With hindsight, I suppose it was inevitable that such hot weather would coincide with the first training session for the Fat Bloke Sevens.

And so it was with some trepidation that the sevens team manager, Timofe, and myself made our way to the Leeds Rugby Academy for our first training session. Rumours had circulated on the message board that the session was to be taken by James Ponton, openside flanker of the Tykes, a man with a reputation for peak physical fitness - "expect a beasting" we were told. It was actually of some relief to myself that Timofe appeared to be as nervous as me.

The two of us were joined by message board regulars NSFG, APB and Loosehead, as well as two newcomers in Martin "Smudger" Smith and Mark the Taff. At least we had seven turn out, which is all well and good seeing that it was sevens we were training for. The squad assembled in Changing Room 2, which appeared to be the one the Tykes use. The walls had motivational messages plastered on them, as well as results of fitness training of the Tykes squad compared to the England squad. Another poster had a code of conduct for the team, which included a note about minimising banter, sarcasm and cynicism. All interesting stuff.

The men charged with the Rugby equivalent of "Scrapheap Challenge" (ie turning vast quantities of junk into an efficient sevens machine) were James Ponton and Chris Hall. Upon their arrival, Timofe was quick to point out that a "beasting" wasn’t what we were really after, and that a few pointers on how to play sevens were more in order. James agreed. Phew!

So the training commenced. Now we don’t want to give our secrets away to our opposition here, but the main part of what we did were handling moves, switches and support play, as well as a few tips on how to play drift defence. James and Chris both contributed and joined in the exercises. So there we were, practising our drift defence against two guys who had played for the 5th placed team in the ZP last year! As I was tracking Chris Hall in me "channel" it occurred to me that this was the guy who skinned the Saracens back line for one of the tries of the season last year at Headingley.

OK, so this is Chris Hall in Padova. I didn't have the Sarries picture!

It was fantastic to be coached by two guys who had proven themselves as professional rugby players, and who clearly knew what they were talking about. Nevertheless, at times we more resembled the keystone cops than a slick sevens unit.

It was clear that the standard was - to be polite - rusty, but we did manage a few moves, and the drift defence got better as we went on. NSFG quickly emerged as the teams Mr Motivator, urging us on to new levels of effort. NSFG was quick to point out that RtR needs a few more pounds to strictly qualify as "fat", and hence a "pies only" diet for the next 5 weeks is in order. It was also apparent the the intended recipient of an RtR pass could expect to receive the ball anywhere from boot laces to gullet, either 2 yards in front or behind them! Well, we were there to practise, and boy did I need it!

The training lasted about 1 hour, which was just about right, and as we trudged off the pitch, a certain Mr Tony Stanger appeared and commented on how hot and sweaty we all looked. And you know, he was dead right.

All in all, it was a great evening that all the boys enjoyed. As APB has written, these opportunities don’t come along that often. I hereby encourage any reader to come along and enjoy the next session on Weds 16th July. It would be great to see a few more turn up for what is a great rugby experience. See you there!

Finally, on behalf of all of us who went, I’d like to thank the club or helping us out, and especially James and Chris for their time (and patience). Total respect due boys!

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Editor's Note: We also did some "training" in the West End afterwards; Timofe and RtR were too tired even for that.....

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