By Mav in Blofeld mode
March 14 2003

.....and that's the end of the Shipping Forecast. And now on Radio 4, 198 Long Wave, we take you over to Twickenham, where Henry Blofeld waits to provide us with commentary of the Rugby Union Six Nations match between England and Italy........ (Dipping in and out of Henry's commentary.....)


....and, and, we welcome back Radio 4 listeners to this afternoons coverage of an intriguing tie between the David and the Goliath of the Six Nations Championship. Italy, a minority sport in every sense, take on the might of England whose performances so far in this competition have failed to reach expectation. The weather is set fair, one or two seagulls floating overhead, relaxing on the thermals of the warm air produced by such a magnificent crowd as the teams take the field. The news from the ground is that England have won the toss and decided to bat first....


....well I say, it's quite a start here! Josh Lewsey, came in from long leg, took a pass from Simpson-Daniel and crossed the boundary for the opening score. Quite, quite marvellous. How long was that, Bill? 139 seconds? My oh my, it takes you back to the 54-55 season....

....and it's Thommers with the ball, he's like a number 49 Bus thundering down the Marylebone Road, pushing pedestrians aside as he goes over for the second score. The Italians really need an early wicket if they are going to get anything from this game. The pass from Greeners made the move, it's simply delightful....


....the Italian side must be wondering what's coming next at the moment. England have the ball, passing backward of square along the line, Lewsey again, to Simpson-Danners to score once more! One really can't quite grasp the beauty of the play at the moment. Johnny Roger Wilko converts and I believe that's....yes Bill, thank you, that's 100 points for Wilko against Italy....


....thank you CMJ....what a performance so far from this up and coming England side they really are putting a marker down. Bergamasco comes into bowl to Lewsey, Lewsey takes the ball and, and it's around the bowler some fully fifty yards to the longest rope. Mirco won't want to see that one again in a hurry. This really is a massive improvement from anything we've seen in any of this years Test matches....


....welcome back to Radio 4 long wave listeners with the news that England have just gone over for a fifth try, Tinders scoring the five points. Five? Did the ball hit a helmet somewhere along the way. I suppose the way this side are playing it must have done....


......Well, we've an hour to play and England are 33 without loss. At this rate, they'll run up a cricket score....


....Half time and England well in control of this fixture although they've been on the back foot for the last quarter of an hour. Whilst the players take refreshment may I say I'm indebted to a Miss Betty Swallocks for a rather scrumptious Dundee cake that has arrived in the box. I've also had an e-mail from one of our avid listeners. Better check this first knowing Aggers.....no it seems O.K, it's from a Lorraine, doesn't give an address but it concerns cucumbers and their effect on the performance of the modern male athlete. I'll read it in a moment....


Well that's that then, a second half full of derring-do from the Italians who quite frankly deserved more than Bergamasco's solitary try. The England fielding in the second half was poor, they just couldn't get a hold of the ball, indeed I've seen pigeons field better. Luger's six over mid-off scarcely reflected on the run of play although the flaxon haired Ollie Smith deserves credit for his workrate in the field....


....So, at the end of the innings, England finish 40 for 5, not bad but, I don't know, Victor, it really could have been so much more, don't you think?


Victor......Yes, Henry............