By Ian Cooper
November 21 2005

“Bluebeard, Blackbeard, Blind Pew, William Kidd, Woodes Rogers, Captain Flint, Gilbert & Sullivan, Captain Jack Sparrow, Smee, can you hear me? Long John Silver, your boys took one hell of a beating, your boys took one hell of a beating” (original copyright some Norwegian bloke).

Well that’s a week’s worth of pent up emotion and finger chewing out of the way.

But somewhat harsh.

Because in the sober light of a new day, despite what the old scoreboard said, the Pirates team and fans, to their great credit, contributed massively to a sparkling occasion on Sunday at The Stoop.

On a day when the temperature gauges plummeted and the brass monkeys played a cute tactical game in being noticeable by their absence, the tin-men came to play. The pre-match noise and atmosphere generated by a record crowd augured well for the game to come. After a week when rugby politics on a more global scale had kicked the need to reach a wider audience into touch, some small justice was regained in this glorious advert for life outside the top flight. 

From the off, the tone of the first half was set. Mehrts hoisted a huge kick which came down with ice on it. From the follow up, and within a minute of the start Quins were awarded a penalty. The importance of a result meant style was always going to be subservient to substance and a kick to the posts was lined up.

And missed.

From the drop-out however Ugo put the burners on and a second penalty swiftly followed. Practise over, Mehrts nailed this one. Five minutes. 3-0.

Ensuing midfield action resulted in a penalty for the Pirates for some hands on the deck. Tom Barlow notched. 3-3. Six minutes gone. Or maybe eight, the old scoreboard  with its missing bars being the one aspect of the matchday experience not up on the pace. Either way, game on.

On thirteen minutes, the first of several key moments in the game. A Pirates penalty on their own  22 was reversed on touch judge Landers say so (oh the irony!). Another kick for Mehrts. Another notch.

Two more defining moments soon followed. Firstly a Pirates penalty launched to a dangerous touch was regained by the Quins lineout – an oft repeated event for much of the rest of the match. Second, a moment of inspirational genius. With the Quins scrum under some pressure and in danger of conceding ground Steve So’oaiao produced a twenty metre reverse pass to Mehrts to relieve the immediate danger. A penalty against Pirates for taking out a player was kicked to their ten metre line. A Quins catch and drive pushed play further and at one stage Mehrts found himself against an eight man overlap – in the Pirates defence. A penalty for offside robbed us of the moment. 9-3 however. Twenty five minutes gone. Or possibly twenty six. Or maybe twenty eight.

From the restart Pirates were awarded a penalty for some afters. Barlow slotted. 9-6, and a game thus far characterised by Quins pressure well matched against an organised Pirates defence.

Again from the restart, some skulduggery from the Pirates gifted Quins another penalty. Mehrts slotted once more. 12-6. 

Another restart. Another  penalty, this time kicked to the 22. From the take the ball passed down the line, only for Mel Deane to take everything but the kitchen sink head on. With players showing increasing concern, the ball was eventually ushered out. A long delay for treatment saw Mel being worryingly stretchered off (although later revealed to be concussion). With Williams coming on at full-back, Duffy moved to the centre.

The rest of the half saw much Quins possession but little penetration. It ended with Pirates gaining a penalty, and resultant lineout on the Quins 22. Another steal by Miall put Quins back on the front foot, and play finished back at the halfway.

The second half started as the first, an early Quins penalty taking the lead to 15-6. Then the heat got turned up a notch.

The Pirates sent out boarding parties en masse and started to show signs of the running game that has notched up some big points this season. They were however unfortunate to come up against the meanest defence in the league, good running often being foiled by turnovers or mistakes. A Pirates penalty that might have closed the gap rebounded off an upright and was scrambled to safety.

With the evening sky starting to turn a colourful shade of magenta and blue the game took on its pivotal moment. The Pirates started to ring the changes, amongst others replacing one of their locks with Senekal. His chair was still warm when he returned to it two minutes later, carded for a deliberate pressure relieving foul following a Miall take and drive. Seizing the moment Mehrts kicked the ball to five metres and a further catch and drive led to the loudest cheer of the game when the Quins pack took the ball over.  The grounding has seemingly been accredited to everyone. So that’s where we’ll leave it. Mehrts converted 22-6, twenty minutes to go and a further ratcheting up of the pace. The Quins passing became more fluid and subtle and gaps started to appear. An easy try went begging with a fumble on the line. The seven man Pirates pack were unable to hold the resultant scrum five and conceded a Quins put in. An easy pushover earned a try for Easter. 29-6. Mehrts converted….

…and was straight away  back in the action at the restart put some ice on a long kick back over the top. The Pirates first knocked on and then conceded a penalty on their 22 as pressure started to tell. If So’oialo had the individual moment of the game in the first half, the next play was the collective one. Instead of calling for the posts, Mehrts suddenly hoisted the ball up to the corner to a waiting Ugo, who neatly caught and flipped a pass for Williams to go over. Mehrts converted. 36-6.

Three minutes later Williams returned the favour, setting Ugo off on a run. With some nifty footwork, he put in a diagonal grubber and won the race from the 22 to score. Mehrts converted. 43-6 and an unlikely bonus point achieved.

With the game all but over, Mehrts left the field twenty-three points to the better, nine from ten and having pretty much dictated the pattern of play from start to his finish, keeping the scoreboard ticking over bit by bit, point by point. The Pirates should have been happy to see him leave. Except Jarvis then  came on, sliced through the park, put Greenwood over for a try and converted to end the game at 50-6.

A great game, a good result.

Negatives? Few. Back chat costing us ten metres at several penalties being the most obvious.

Positives? Many. The pack delivered massively, setting up the correct platform to win the game against worthy opponents forcing errors and gaining penalties. Mehrts proved there is still gold to be found in his boots. The backs added invention and sparkle.

Even Vossy after a late rampaging run could be forgiven for dropping the ball. Any brass monkey that might have got a ticket would have been counting theirs.

And the band were belting too.

NEC Harlequins
Ceri Jones, Tani Fuga (Jimmy Richards ,74 mins), Ricky Nebbett (Lorne Ward ,62 mins), Jim Evans (Kevin Burke ,73 mins), Simon Miall, Andre Vos, Luke Sherriff (Tom Guest ,69 mins), Nick Easter, Steve So’oialo (Ian Vass ,62 mins), Andrew Mehrtens (Adrian Jarvis ,75 mins), Simon Keogh, Mel Deane (Tom Williams ,33 mins), Will Greenwood, Ugo Monye, Gavin Duffy.
Replacements: Jimmy Richards (Tani Fuga ,74 mins), Lorne Ward (Ricky Nebbett ,62 mins), Kevin Burke (Jim Evans ,73 mins), Tom Guest (Luke Sherriff ,69 mins), Ian Vass (Steve So’oialo ,62 mins), Adrian Jarvis (Andrew Mehrtens ,75 mins), Tom Williams (Mel Deane ,33 mins)

Scorers: Tries: Luke Sherriff, Nick Easter, Will Greenwood, Ugo Monye, Tom Williams. Conversions: Andrew Mehrtens (4), Adrian Jarvis (1). Penalties: Andrew Mehrtens (5).

Cornish Pirates
Alan Paver, Nick Makin (Peter Ince ,55 mins), Nick Adams (Dan Seal ,66 mins), Will James, Joe Beardshaw (Heino Senekal ,54 mins), Joe Bearman, Iva Motusaga, Tim Cowley, Gavin Cattle, Tom Barlow, Kevin James, Wade Kelley, Duncan Roke, Richard Welding, Wes Davies.
Replacements: Rhodri McAtee, John Pritchard, Lee Jarvis, Peter Ince (Nick Makin ,55 mins), Simon Hockings, Dan Seal (Nick Adams ,66 mins), Heino Senekal (Joe Beardshaw ,54 mins)

Scorer: Penalties: Tom Barlow (2).