...but at 5:15 on Saturday evening, when he strode into the Press Room, I wanted to have Mark Evans' babies!!

 Hold on a minute, I hear you say, last season, after our 45-0 humiliation at the hands of Sale, you wanted to be his mother, providing germolene and maternal reassurances. I myself was a little concerned that the terms of our relationship might be a little confused, but I was, as Barbara Cartland might have said, aglow, after the 80 minutes of foreplay on the park. However, I must admit at one point I wanted to revert to motherhood and ask him to spit into his hanky so that I could wipe his chops and tell him he was a very rude boy, when halfway through the conference, and whilst munching on a sandwich, he received a telephone call from his wife and proceeded to organise their Saturday night social activities (a Quins victory and fillet steaks does it for me Mark!).

So what makes a team which generated a fair amount of wrath from some quarters a fortnight earlier (Matty007 - which tropical rain forest did you watch the game live on your computer this time?), produce in the first half hour, in Mark Evans' (BatQuin - never sure about the apostrophe on this one) words, the best rugby they've played this season (for six seasons in my view)? Mark didn't pick out any players for special mention, however, and in my view as a riposte to the aforementioned jibes, he made a point early on in saying that it showed that "there was more to Burkey's game than kicking". I have to agree, as he appeared to recover the form of early season, but in my humble view, Wilko and Carlos Spencer themselves couldn't have done much with the service he'd been receiving recently.

Mark could have easily pointed to the first 10 mins of play as to demonstrating why Paul Burke has to be one of the first players on the team sheet. After 3 mins, he kicked a 53 metre penalty, after a Saints' infringement, deliberately aiming it to hit the bar on the way over, followed 7 mins later, by an audacious chip to a sprinting and expectant Ugo Monye, for him to score in the corner, in a move that came straight off the training ground and, if it didn't, was even more magical. Leaving this aside, the move was only able to come about due to the incompetence of the referee (can't even be bothered to look up his name - Martin Fox for the pedants out there) in judging the Saints' wing Ripol to have knocked on a high ball (which clearly went backwards) and award us a scrum 32 metres out in front of the posts. This was the first of many strange decisions made by the official who left both teams scratching their heads as his control of the game unravelled. Burkey converted to make it 10-0

On the team sheet (Andy Hancock)

On 18 mins, Burkey converted another penalty after Saints pulled down a maul 27 metres out and to the right of the posts. The Quins' show continued and after 27 mins, Bill Davison rose to steal a Saints lineout on their 22 m to set up a series of promising attacks on their line before Pat Sanderson (grateful for identity from people behind) went over for a try. Unfortunately, Burkey missed the conversion after having first replaced the ball after it toppled off the tee, probably thinking it was too easy and he'd done the cross-bar trick already! However, before Matty007 could lash together a makeshift broadband wireless transmitter to tap out a stinging rebuke from the Serengeti, he redeemed himself by converting a 49 m penalty on the half hour.

The third try came on 34 minutes when after Burkey refused a penalty (possibly on the basis that it was too easy) and kicked to touch for a lineout on their 5 m line. Tani was the eventual scorer but it came, as I see from my scribbled notes, from a great all-round effort. Burkey converted, just for the practice; 28-0. By this time I was wondering if I could get away with actually throwing my pad away and enjoy the performance rather than reporting on it, but I knew where my responsibilities lie and that this was a "publication of record" that would be read and quoted long after Sleepy Hollow's last pork roll had been digested.

After 37 mins, a TOB was set up on Quins 10 metre line, and rolled down the pitch, to a thunderous roar from the crowd, which would have left many a rugby newcomer scratching their heads, but beauty is truly in the eye of the beholder and we take our pleasures where we find them. But by this time we were cheering anything that moved in a multi-coloured shirt, partly in celebration but also in disbelief in what we witnessing, i.e. flawless total rugby from our boys……yes, they were our boys, not Tigers, not Wasps, but Quins!!!! But as you would expect, we came crashing down to earth on 39 mins, when Dippy was sin-binned for an early tackle when Saints were in an attacking position in front of the posts from about 18 metres out. No one could complain about the penalty, but the yellow card was more than a little harsh as, if my memory is correct, we had conceded only one or two, if any, penalties up to that time. Saints decided to refuse the kick and set up a scrum, which after a small run of play, resulted in Quins conceding another penalty, for which the Ref allowed a fair amount of advantage before bringing the ball back. This time Saints took a tap penalty which after some pressure on the Quins defence resulted in a try by Rob Hunter, converted by Shane Drahm. 28-7.

Soap Box Alert

This brings me to another soapbox of mine, i.e. uncertainties relating to the advantage rule. During this match the Ref correctly, in most cases, allowed advantage to be played for quite a time before blowing, however, in some games, little advantage is played and the team with the advantage misses out on the Penalty kick. As we've seen, Burkey has taken to dropping the ball in such situations in order to take the kick, even where a try might have been a possibility if we had allowed play to continue, but because of the inconsistencies of Referees, he has clearly decided not to take the risk.

The Ref immediately blew for half-time and came off to a "welcome" from the West Stand and as he approached the tunnel was separately button-holed by Scotty and Mark Evans; presumably to check on how many sugars he took in his tea and to apologise for the no-show of Harley's Angels!!

Halfway through half-time the Quins team came back onto the pitch, which I must admit took me by surprise as I hadn't yet had a chance to get down the Gentlemen's Room to freshen-up and powder my nose, but this was clearly a deliberate ruse to maintain the Quins' momentum (a subject which I will return to).

During the Press Conference after the match Mark would later comment that he had thought that if we could score another try, against the wind, then it would probably be enough. But the Ref had other thoughts on his mind during his tea and biccies and decided to reconsider his policy on the advantage rule. As a consequence, in the 1st min of the new half, he decided to allow Quins to play advantage after a Saints knock-on, which resulted in Burkey kicking to touch under pressure and not making much more ground than where the offence took place, and then gave the lineout to Saints.

Don't you just hate it when that happens? (Andy Hancock)

The West Stand were a little confused to say the least! However, by the 48th minute, long advantages were back in vogue and Drahm was finally given a penalty opportunity after what seemed like several minutes of advantage, although admittedly no territorial gain. Drahm missed, which was followed by a cheer from the Quins' faithful, but before any Saints fans complain about rudeness, etc, this was not against Drahm but a response to the Ref's inconsistencies and the fact that if it had gone over it would have pulled back the score to 28-10 and a foreseeable Quins' wobble!! But it was not to be (oh ye of little faith) and on 16 mins, after a juggling pirouette or was it a pirouetting juggle from Dippy created a piece of magic (cue few bars of The Entertainer) Keogh scored in the corner. Unfortunately, Burkey missed the conversion from the touchline, but he's forgiven!! 33-7.

On 19 mins, Quins made the first of several substitutions, with Jones, Gomez and Rudzki coming on for Worsley, Dawson and Evans. Needless to say all those coming off were received to a standing ovation. Oh, how sweet it all felt! On 20 mins, Burkey decided to take the place kicking seriously again and converted a penalty from 37 metres, to the left of the posts. 36-7.

On 23 mins, Burkey and Dippy were replaced by Winters and Dunne. On 24 mins Keogh scored his second try down our right touchline after what I see scribbled in my pad as 15-man rugby (Keeoo Keeoo). However, by this time, accuracy of reporting had gone out the window!! Just after Josh was replaced by Gavin Duffy.

On 33 mins, Saints scored the first of their two consolation tries, with Blowers scoring under the posts after plenty of pressure on the Quins line, almost followed by a second on 39 mins, when Blowers dropped the ball over the line. On 42 mins, Seely scored a third Saints try after the Ref missed a knock-on (surprise surprise!).

The game finished on a bit of a low when, in the 37th min, Tani uncharacteristically, started to openly and continually punch a Saints player at the side of the ruck. He deserved to be binned, but I thought at the time that something must have happened earlier. Mark Evans confirmed this at the Press Conference, when whilst agreeing that the decision to yellow-card Tani was correct, commented that the Ref had not seen the earlier knee to the groin.

At the end of the game the scoreboard told the final story: 43-21.

The Man of the Match was given as Pat Sanderson, but in truth, I would have found it difficult to pick one man out.

Fortunately the Press Conference started very soon. A subdued but a no-excuse-making Wayne Smith didn't think Northampton turned up in the first half. He thought Quins were good; he was impressed with the Quins effort, and that we defended brilliantly. He thought that the Saints had an off day, but that the attitude of their players showed that they, as a coaching staff, had done something wrong in training during the week, possibly being too light on them. Collectively they weren't right, but this was as much a problem with coaching staff as with players. He felt that their ball retention was poor and in terms of technique, they turned their backs in contact, which was something they never did and would need to be fixed.

Although not present during this part of the Conference, Mark Evans did refer to aspects of this in his Conference when he praised Saints as the best "rucking and momentum side" in the Premiership, and that Quins were successful in stopping it enough to stop them getting into a rhythm.

The main surprise from Wayne Smith was his reference to the fact that Saints' players, Chris Hyndman and Dan Richmond had been dropped for turning up late for a team meeting/training session. This was unprompted and it wasn't clear whether this was a message to his team or the Saints supporters. However, he was clearly concerned with the attitudes within the team, even before the game. Maybe his players had underestimated us!

You could tell that Mark Evans was a happy man as he came into the Press Room before the Wayne Smith had finished. Chomping a nicely cut sandwich (crust on - the wives of the old Committee would have demanded the birch if they'd been there!) he sat down next to Scotty in a very different frame of mind to when I last saw them together in those seats. So what had changed from a fortnight ago? In his view, we executed well, defended well, played with balance, had a base of a very solid scrum and a functioning line out, and made few mistakes. It really was as simple as that. The players played with passion, remembered what they'd learnt on the training field and didn't drop the ball. And that, in Mark's view, is the difference between winning and losing.

He felt that the present second position in the Table was a little inflated, "to be frank", as we've played only three matches away, but thought if we can go into the second half of the season in 4th or 5th place, things should be OK. He pointed out that over the past few seasons, only one team usually leaves the top six during the second half of season. He expected Leicester to shoot up the league after RWC, but in the main, the teams with most players at the RWC are already in the top 6 and therefore didn't expect present league placings to change massively. His major point, however, was that momentum and confidence was important.

What a delight it was to make my way home down to the West Sussex coast that evening. The 30 minute queue to get out of the car park at 5:30 was of no consequence; the diversion around the annual Chiddingfold bonfire and fireworks, a mere distraction. I could have sworn that small children waved to me from their bedroom windows and pretty girls truly danced and sung on the Downland village greens. Even next doors' pussies greeted me without flinching. The fillet steaks were grilled to perfection and the fine wines did their job! Mrs Evans' marriage is safe for the time being!!

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