Without boring everyone with my travel details lets just say I never make the start of play, I don’t know why but its just the way that it is, it might have something to do with my face book addiction however, mental note call The Priory to see if they can help!

[editor's note: disgusting that our reporter arrived late - absolutely unheard of (to confess to it in such brazen fashion) - I personally arrived a mere 75 minutes after the start of play]

Anyway after getting into the ground with five overs gone (You thought I would have learnt my lesson from the FP game against slurry) it was no surprise to see that Shakespeare had won the toss and asked Derbyshire to bat on an overcast morning.

Nor was it a surprise to see Ace fit again (those benefit collections must be taking their toll) in place of Dawid Malan, Scott kept his place behind the stumps and Danny Evans was given the nod over Steven Finn.

Any thoughts of blowing the opposition away were soon dispelled and indeed the only highlight of the first hour was watching Vernon Philander trying to chat up a couple of nice young ladies who appeared in the Allen Stand carrying tea and cake.  I was only eyeing up the cake honest!

Rogers and Stubbings brought up the 50 in 61 minutes with minimum problems, Vernon however thought otherwise standing with his hand on hips after a couple of unsuccessful appeals.  If body language could kill!

Then it was Dirk Nannes turn be rejected when he appeared to have a good shout for Rogers being caught behind just four short of his 50 which he duly reached after battering young Evans for four, after (not for the first time) he looked to be bowling too short.

[editor's note: my own observation, for what it is worth, is that the early spell from Evans was indeed a bit short, but he has that height and bounce that encourages the bowler to err in that way.  Evans' later spell was right on the money.  Nannes' second spell was lively but did not require the batsman to play often enough - Nannes looked far more effective when he risked making the batsman play more] 

But just as it looked like a breakthrough was never going to happen Nannes got Stubbings caught behind for 26 and we were off an running. Derbyshire survived until lunch (104-1) despite Shaggy appealing more than the Red Cross in the final over.

[editor's note: the successful appeal against Stubbings was well down my list of deserving ones, but heck, that's first class life]

I don’t know if lunch was late arriving in the visitors dressing room but it seemed as if Rogers couldn’t wait to get back for his afters because he was sent packing by Philander’s fifth ball of the afternoon session.

Evans is a player I have been waiting to see for a while and even though he can be expensive he does have pace and soon had Rikki Clarke jogging off after bowling him with one that kept low.

Dial M (for Murtagh) didn’t want to be left out of the fun and had Sadler leg before (151-4) as the wickets started to regularly tumble even though Birch at the far end passed his 50 with a top edge that dropped in-between two fielders.

Middle-sex appeal?

Murtagh fired up by his wicket clocked Klokker on the chin who after having a plaster put on a nasty cut, got through to tea (189-4) without any further mishap.

[editor's note: a trip to the Indoor School for Ged at tea time - Desmond Tutu has sequestrated Ged's June net - you shouldn't have asked - where Ged sights KP for the second time today - this time leaving the school.  He is driving a massive VW limo which at least has lots of boot room for his coffins but otherwise seems an unsuitable vehicle for a man who lacks 7 or more children.  Little did Ged realise then, that Derbyshire were on the verge of deploying more choke than KP's massive car]

Philander soon got Klokker thanks to another decent Morgan catch, not as good as his one handed effort against Essex but good all the same.

Danger man Birch looked to be on course to become the first Derbyshire player to score a century at Lords in six years when Shaggy got him caught behind in what proved to be the beginning of the end for their innings.

But I must confess, my office asked me to check out a story so I had to retreat behind the Allen stand to use my mobile and before I was back Clare and Wagg had been and gone, in the five minutes I was out of sight.

[editor's note: Allow me.  Clare edged one to Morgan - the easier catch of his two - aren't they all just so easy when you are sitting in the Grandstand?  Wagg at this point decided to go for broke and made the most ugly arial hoiked drive I've seen in a while, just a ball or two shy of the potential new ball.  Meanhwhile, the Turkeys, in exile in the Grandstand due to lack of sun on Compton Hill, shifted tack.  Having complained for ages "why can't we take wickets?" the pessimists reverted to that old chestnut, "oh no, looks like we'll have to bat this evening in the gloom". 

Meanwhile, Shakespeare didn't take the new ball but persevered with Tim "Dial M for" Murtagh and Shaggy "Free Bus Pass" Udal.  The latter gained the nickname today as Murts shouted "come on free bus pass" as Shaggy came in to bowl, forcing the veteran to stop for a corpse break.  For some reason, an aucoustic anomaly which perhaps Ben "you can'nay change laws of physics" Scotty could explain, Shaggy thought the heckle came from the Turkeys rather than from Dial M and much confused banter and laughter ensued.]

Work taken care of, Murtagh sent Langeveldt’s stumps flying only for the last two to steady the ship with a much needed 23 before Nannes bowled Deans.

That left us only needing to see out five overs before the close of play but could we do it? No. Billy Godleman got trapped leg before to a fired up Dean, and it could have been worse had Evans not been dropped at third slip two balls from the end.

[editor's note: shouldn't complain at the end of such a super day's cricket, but Billy the Kid looked hard done by to me.  As for Evans - he looked to me to be a suitable choice as night watchman in the same way as Myra Hindley would be a suitable choice as child minder.  Still, he's survived and perhaps has the licence to drive "like he's behind the wheel of KP's car" in the morning.] 

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